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MEMOEIALS 



CAPTAIN HEDLEY VICAES. 



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IAPTAIM HEBLEY VICARS, 




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JLOHBON; JaVMES NISBET&C? 21,BERNEBS STREET. 



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MEMORIALS 



CAPTAIN HEDLET YIOAES, 



NINETY-SEVENTH REGIMENT. 



AUTHOR OF " THE VICTORY WON." 



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LONDON: 

JAMES NISBET AND CO., 21 BEENEES STEEET. 

MDCCCLVI. 



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THE FAITH OF A SON 



IS AFFECTIONATELY INSCRIBED 



TO HER WHOM GOD GRACIOUSLY CHOSE 



TO SOW IN HIS YOUNG HEART 



ITS FIRST IMPERISHABLE SEED. 



CONTENTS. 



CHAPTER I. 

PAGI 

Boyhood 1 



CHAPTER II. 
The Awakening 11 

CHAPTER III. 

Conversion . . . * . 31 

CHAPTER IV. 
Diary 51 

CHAPTER V. 
Home 69 

CHAPTER VI. 
Friendship 95 



Vlll CONTENTS. 



CHAPTER VII. 

PAGE 

The War 113 



CHAPTER VIII. 
The Hospital 153 

CHAPTER IX. 

Winter before Sebastopol . . 207 

CHAPTER X. 
The Day-star Rises . . . .241 

CHAPTER XL 
The Victory 285 

APPENDIX. 

"In Memoriam" . . . . .293 



PREFACE 



It may strike some who take up this volume, as 
strange that a memoir should be written of one who 
was so early cut off, in the flower of his age, that he 
had scarcely begun the fulfilment of his youthful 
promise ; whose name, till its last honourable men- 
tion by his Commander-in-Chief, was little known 
beyond his own family and an extended circle of 
friends and comrades. 

Why, it may be asked, was he chosen out of the 
many not less brave or less beloved, who as freely 
offered up their lives for their country, and whose 
graves are, like his, far distant upon the shore of the 
stranger ? It is thought that a perusal of the follow- 
ing pages will sufficiently answer this question, and 
that, by God's blessing, these records of his brief 
career will not have been preserved in vain. 

If any have cast the bread of life upon the restless 



X PKEFACE. 

waters of some wanderer's heart, and are still waiting 
and hoping to find it after many days, let them take 
comfort as they read how the parental prayer and 
blessing, which seemed to "be disregarded, were 
recalled in the moment of temptation and in a dis- 
tant scene, were mused upon during lonely midnight 
watches, and cherished in a close companionship with 
danger and death. 

There are those who, in the face of examples to 
the contrary, still maintain that entire devotion of 
the heart to God must withdraw a man from many 
of the active duties of life, and who would be pre- 
pared to concede that in making a good Christian 
you may spoil a good soldier. To them the subject 
of this memoir affords a fresh and ample refutation. 
While so many, whom God's grace has awakened 
in our Army and Navy, conceive it to be their duty, 
as they feel it to be their delight, to receive a fresh 
commission as ministers of the Gospel of Peace, that 
they may preach at once to others the Name so dear 
to themselves ; and while the weak in faith seek a 
sphere more sheltered from temptation, he determined 
upon the wiser and nobler course of standing firm to 
the colours under which he was already enrolled. 
When called to God's service, he found his mission- 



PREFACE. XI 

field in the camp and in the hospital. He lived, 
during months of sickness and pestilence, to com- 
mend the religion he professed to all around him — 
while he pursued the duties of his profession with 
distinguished ardour and constancy — maintaining as a 
Christian a high reputation for bravery among the 
bravest of his companions in arms, and winning on 
his first battle-field the blood-stained laurels so soon 
to be exchanged for the crown of glory that fadeth 
not away. 

These pages may meet the eye of some of the 
many young Englishmen who have more of Christ's 
religion in their hearts than they have ever avowed 
in their lives, whose best feelings are stifled by the 
atmosphere of the society in which they find them- 
selves, and which they might and ought to elevate 
and purify. Most grateful to God will the writer of 
these memorials be, if the courage of any such be 
exalted and confirmed, and their manly hearts in- 
spired to emulate the noble example of a Christian 
Soldier. 



CHAPTEE I. 



" A noble boy, 
A brave, free-hearted, careless one, 
Full of uncheck'd, unbidden joy, 
Of dread of books, and love of fun ; 
And with a clear and ready smile 
Unshadow'd by a thought of guile." 

Willis. 



Hedley Shafto Johnstone Yicaes was born in the 
Mauritius, on the 7th of December 1826. His father, 
an officer in the Eoyal Engineers, was the represen- 
tative of the family of Don Vicaro, a Spanish Cava- 
lier who came to England in the suite of Katharine 
of Arragon, and settled in Ireland early in the six- 
teenth century, on the marriage of his eldest grandson 
with the heiress of the Lalor family. The family 
estate was Levalley, in Queen's County. 

There was little to distinguish the early days of 
Hedley Vicars from those of other healthy high- 
spirited boys. Active and fearless, he was foremost 
among his playfellows wherever fun or frolic was to 
be found. Open-hearted and generous, quick to re- 
sent an injury, but ready to forgive, he was a uni- 
versal favourite with them, whilst his sweetness of 
temper, and kind, unselfish nature, especially endeared 
him to his family at home. His faults were those of 
an energetic and wayward disposition, and those 
legends which are wont to be preserved in families, 



4 BOYHOOD. 

record occcasional instances of his odd and amusing 
perversity. When the children were gathered around 
their mother to repeat texts of Scripture in turn, 
Hedley, refusing to enter into the spirit of the little 
circle, would contribute nothing but " Kemember Lot's 
wife." 

On one occasion, being reproved by his mother for 
light conduct at family worship, he walked off during 
the prayer, and ensconced himself in a little cave in 
the garden, barricading it with the determination of 
spending the night there, by way of punishing his 
mother for reproving him in the presence of the 
assembled family. But after a time, his better nature 
was touched by the entreaties and caresses of his little 
sisters, and he returned, softened and penitent, to ask 
and obtain forgiveness. 

Once at the end of the holidays, when he was told 
to pack up his box for school, resolving to put off the 
evil day as long as possible, he paid no attention to 
his mother's repeated injunctions until they became 
positive commands, no longer to be disregarded. Then 
he walked away to his room, with an air of insulted 
dignity, and soon called out, " Mother, my box is 
packed." On opening the door of her room, she 
found the box placed there, loosely corded and packed, 
indeed, but with the housemaid's dust-pan and brushes, 
and a collection of old boots, shells, stones, and all 
sorts of rubbish, with which a few of Mrs Vicars' 



BOYHOOD. 

favourite books were irreverently jumbled ; trie boy, 
meanwhile, banging over tbe banisters, bumming a 
careless tune, calmly viewed a displeasure, tbe dignity 
of wbicb it was not easy to preserve. 

Yet in spite of these and similar exbibitions of 
waywardness, be never caused his mother serious 
anxiety, in his boyhood, or gave lasting pain to that 
tender heart, ever knit to his own by the fondest 
affection. 

She was for some years the only guardian of his 
childhood. Loss of health obliged her to return to 
England with her children, whilst their father was 
detained in the Mauritius by military duty. He came 
home to rejoice the hearts of his family in the year 
1835, and died four years afterwards, in the prime of 
manhood, at Mullingar, West Meath, where he held a 
military appointment. He was honoured and beloved 
by the whole neighbourhood. 

High-spirited, and fearless for himself, for his sis- 
ters Hedley was ever thoughtful, and treated them 
with invariable gentleness. The tenderness of his 
boyish years, for all who were under the power of his 
superior strength, was the germ of that constant con- 
sideration and goodness exercised in after-life towards 
those who were under his command, which drew forth 
from them an affection meet to illustrate the words, 
" Peradventure for a good man some would even dare 
to die." 



6 BOYHOOD. 

When the boy was twelve years old, his father's 
dying hand was laid upon his head, with the. earnest 
prayer, " that he might be a good soldier of Jesus 
Christ, and so fight manfully under his banner as to 
glorify his holy name." 

It might almost seem that faith had given to the 
departing Christian, as to the aged Jacob, a voice of 
prophecy. Knows he not now, and will he not yet 
more perfectly know, in a day for which a groaning 
creation looketh, how fully a faithful God granted to 
him this — his last prayer ? 

From this time Hedley's love for his mother gra- 
dually deepened into that peculiar form of protecting 
tenderness which seems the prerogative of a widow's 
son, and there grew up with his growth an almost 
feminine gentleness and a sensitive regard for the 
feelings of others, which, combined with singular 
strength and steadfastness of character, rendered the 
friendship of his matured manhood so precious to 
those who had the privilege of enjoying it. 

To study he had always shewn a marked and posi- 
tive aversion, and devoted his time to anything rather 
than to the prescribed form of drudgery. At one 
school, then newly formed, where he was placed for a 
year or two, the contagion of his high spirits often 
carried off the master — himself a young man — from 
graver pursuits to join in the wild adventures and 
pranks of his gay and reckless pupil, somewhat to the 
scandal of their sober neighbours. 



BOYHOOD. 7 

This determination not to study followed him to 
Woolwich, and prevented him from acquiring the 
distinction necessary to secure a commission in the 
Engineers or Artillery. All this was seriously re- 
gretted by him in after-life, not alone because he thus 
deprived himself of a more advantageous branch of 
the service, but also on account of time wasted, which 
had been given him so to use that he might finally 
render his account of it with joy. 

On Christmas-day 1843, his mother received a 
letter, announcing that her son had obtained a com- 
mission in the line, written by the same hand which, 
on Good Friday 1855, informed her how faithfully 
unto death that commission had been fulfilled. 

Early in the following spring he commenced his 
military career by joining the dep6t of the 97th 
Eegiment in the Isle of Wight. He was an ardent 
lover of his profession, and from first to last was 
devoted to its duties. In writing to his mother an 
account of his first review, with its fatigues of march- 
ing, skirmishing, and firing, he adds, with boyish 
pride, " But my zeal for the service kept me up." 

In the autumn of 1844, he returned home to take 
leave of his family at Langford Grove, in Essex, be- 
fore sailing for Corfu. His eldest sister well remem- 
bers his joyous bearing as he first exhibited himself 
to them in the Queen's uniform, and her own admira- 
tion of the bright, intelligent countenance, broad 



8 BOYHOOD. 

shoulders, and well-knit, athletic figure of her young 
soldier-brother. A few weeks afterwards he sailed 
for Corfu — now fairly launched in the world and in 
a profession beset with temptations. 

He still retained the frank demeanour and kind 
and generous disposition which had distinguished 
him as a boy, with a keen relish for adventure, and 
a quick perception Of the beautiful in all around him, 
as his descriptions of scenery sufficiently shew. Gifts 
are these, lovely in themselves, but dangerous, often 
fatal, to their possessor, as the wrecks upon many a 
shoal of life too truly testify. 

He had a pleasant and prosperous voyage out ; 
with his usual activity lending a helping hand to the 
sailors in the work of the ship, and winning their 
hearts by his genial manners. At Corfu he entered 
with spirit into all the amusements which offered 
themselves to him. His letters to his family were now 
less frequent than ever before or afterwards, and at 
this period of his life his reckless disposition often led 
him into scenes of which his conscience disapproved, 
and to excesses which, though never matured into 
habits, and, by the grace of God, early and for ever 
abandoned, were afterwards the subject of bitter and 
humiliating remembrance. In reference to this he 
wrote in 1854, " You will be spared poignant remorse 
in after years by remembering your Creator in the days 
of your youth. I speak from heartfelt experience. I 



BOYHOOD. 9 

would give worlds, if I had them, to undo what I have 
done." 

A single letter will be sufficient to shew that his 
correspondence was at this time restricted to the 
details of his outward life : — 

TO HIS MOTHEE. 

" Cephalonia, 1845. 
" . . . . Last week I had a delightful trip to 
Zante, where I was ordered to sit on a court-martial, 
and remained three days. I never enjoyed a place 
more. It is a "beautiful island, covered with verdure. 
A wing of the reserved battalion of the 97th is quar- 
tered there — two companies in the town, and one in the 
castle, which is about a mile above it. Clambering 
up was tedious work, as the hill in some parts is nearly 
perpendicular. I was, however, well repaid for my 
trouble on arriving at the summit, where the sight 
which presented itself to my eyes was most magnifi- 
cent. On one side of the ramparts you behold the 
town far below, and the harbour crowded with mer- 
chant-vessels of every nation ; while in the distance, 
through the misty haze, appears the dark outline of 
the Morean hills. Looking in the opposite direction, 
you see an immense plain thickly planted with vine- 
yards, studded with olive groves and pretty villas, 
just visible in the distance. Still further, mountains 
capped with snow form a boundary to the valley." 



10 BOYHOOD. 

Soon afterwards he was quartered in the castle at 
Zante, to his great delight, and his letters convey the 
same vivid impressions of the beauty of the scenes 
which surrounded him :— 

" Summer is changing the aspect of all around. 
The plains beneath are already clothed in green ; the 
vines, olives, pomegranates, and hawthorn, with roses, 
geraniums, and other wild but sweetly-scented flowers, 
shed their fragrance through the air, and everything 
looks charming. Zante is a perfect garden of roses. 
I generally have two or three bouquets in my room. 
One could hardly have more pleasant quarters." 



CHAPTER II, 



"Thou hast made tis for Thyself, and our heart is restless till it 
resteth in Thee." 

St Augustine. 



The 97th was ordered to Jamaica in 1848. From 
Maroon Town lie thus writes to his mother : — 

" I see it all now. It is I that have caused your 
illness, my darling mother. Ever since the receipt 
of your last letter, I have been in a dreadful state of 
mind. I. feel that I deserve God's severest punish- 
ment for my undutiful conduct towards the fondest 
of mothers, but the excruciating thought had never 
before occurred to me, that He might think fit to 
remove her from me. Oh, what agony I have en- 
dured ! what sleepless nights I have passed, since the 
perusal of that letter ! The review of my past life, 
especially the retrospect of the last two years, has at 
last quite startled me, and at the same time disgusted 
me. You will now see the surest sign of repentance 
in my future conduct ; and believe me, that never, as 
far as in me lies, shall another moment's anxiety be 
caused you by your dutiful and now repentant son." 



14 THE AWAKENING. 

The remorse which he thus affectingly expresses, 
was caused by his having incurred debt, to no great 
amount, but such as he knew would become a burden 
to a widowed mother. During his residence in one 
of the Mediterranean isles, he had become acquainted 
with a family who shewed him great hospitality, and 
in maintaining social intercourse with them, and 
sharing their pleasures, he had involved himself be- 
yond his means. It was the first and the last time 
that his unselfish nature thus transgressed. 

In the depth of his penitence for his errors towards 
an earthly parent, — called forth by the patient bear- 
ing of her forgiving love, — do we not see the fore- 
shadowing of that prostration of soul with which he 
humbled himself, when once the kindness and long- 
suffering of his God and Saviour were manifested to 
him in the fulness of redeeming love? And thus it 
was first through the raising of his moral nature, by 
means of the holiest affections of man's heart, that he 
was eventually, after many a fall and rising again, 
to be drawn up into the higher life of fellowship with 
the Father and with his Son Jesus Christ. 

The depth and tenderness of his feelings at this 
time are well spoken again in the following letter to 
his mother : — 

u What a difference there is between the crowded 
Sea of the Mediterranean and the broad and dreary 



THE AWAKENING. 15 

expanse of the Atlantic! On the former sea we 
passed hundreds of vessels, but from the day we left 
Gibraltar to enter into the Western Ocean, to the 
time we sailed np the Carribean Sea, not more than 
two vessels hove in sight, and they were nearly hull 
down with their top-spars alone visible. On, on we 
went through the monster ocean of the western hemi- 
sphere, with the glorious sky above, and the rolling 
restless waves beneath. A huge whale kept us 
company for one day, — no one on board had ever 
seen one like it. Porpoises and dolphins enliven us 
also by their presence every day, affording great 
delight, by their clumsy gambols, to the seamen and 
soldiers. 

" Our watches were kept day and night. I had 
my vigil to keep for four hours every night, and 
often have I, when on the middle or morning watch, 
clambered aloft to the tops, and sat down and watched, 
on many a wild and stormy night, the flying scud, 
as it rolled restlessly across the face of the moon, 
entirely wrapped up in thoughts of you and home, 
of past times and past events. Then, I have imagined 
myself coming home, the surprise it would give you, 
and how happy we should be. In the midst of such 
delicious reveries, the retrospect of the last few 
months has struck me as it were with a blight. I 
have said to myself, ' Oh, that I had the last two 
years allotted to me to live over again ! ' Alas, 



16 THE AWAKENING. 

regrets are now unavailing; let my future aim be 
to atone for the lapse of time which can never be 
recalled. 

" We anchored on the morning of the 5th in Mon- 
tego Bay ; and landed the same evening. By the 
time we had formed on the beach it was quite dark ; 
that most pleasing part of the day, twilight, being 
very short in these latitudes. As soon as the guides 
were ready, our company marched off to Falmouth, 
twenty miles distant, whilst I gave the word of com- 
mand to No. 5 company, i Bight, form, four deep, 
march, quick march,' and we began our night march 
to Maroon Town. We were accompanied by crowds 
of blacks, many of whom carried torches of resinous 
wood ; and the light glaring on the men's bayonets 
and appointments, through the pitch dark night, pro- 
duced a very good effect. I wish the moon had 
given us her friendly light, for then I should have 
been able to give you some account of the country ; 
as it was, I could only distinguish that we were 
marching on a road, with a deep ravine on each 
side, through a richly-wooded country. The chirp- 
ing made by insects was both loud and incessant, 
and the fireflies flitting in the bushes, and across our 
path by myriads, now and then shewed us by their 
light a yawning abyss, as we marched, skirting its 
edge. The air was hot and sultry ; yet, in spite of 
this, and the badness of the roads, the first six miles 



THE AWAKENING. 17 

were speedily got over ; but, as we advanced higher 
up, the country became more wild, and the roads 
extremely dangerous, so that, commanding the com- 
pany for the time being, I had to keep the men well 
in hand, files locked up. Even in spite of this pre- 
caution, one very fine young fellow was nearly killed 
by a fall over a precipice, but was providentially 
saved by some bushes. It was half-an-hour before 
we got him out. We had to make repeated halts, 
as the men began to shew symptoms of fatigue ; and 
when we arrived at the half-way house (eleven miles 
over), we halted to serve out to each man some bread 
and a ration of spirits. After this slight refreshment, 
the men fell in, the advance sounded, and onward we 
trudged. 

" It now became all up-hill work, and very weari- 
some : yet I kept my station at the head of the co- 
lumn. About a mile from the half-way house I went 
ahead of the column, and soon met the advanced 
guard of the 38th. They cheered, and told us, as we 
passed, that their comrades were close at hand. In 
another ten minutes we encountered them. They 
cheered us loudly, and shook hands with a number 
of our men, wishing us all good luck, and good health 
at Maroon Town. 

u This place is merely a cantonment, consisting of 
the Barracks, distant from our quarters about 200 
yards, and numerous pretty thatched cottages, with 
B 



18 THE AWAKENING. 

neat little gardens attached. It is situated in a dell, 
about 2500 feet above the level of the sea, surrounded 
on every side by bills, which are thickly covered by 
stately trees. The foliage is very luxuriant, and the 
air is richly loaded with the aroma of numerous 
plants. Altogether the scene is delightful to one who 
can enjoy the country, and as if nothing should be 
wanted to heighten the beauty of the scene, through 
the opening between two hills is visible the boundless 
expanse of the ocean. 

u Often do I wander into the forest to enjoy the cool 
refreshing shade of the trees, and undisturbed to 
think of home, — a sweeter contemplation to me now 
than all the beauties of nature. 

" I have two very nice rooms, and a pretty garden 
attached, with arbours of trellis-work. I have built 
a nice place, myself, for poultry, and bought eight 
hens and two cocks, by which I intend soon to make 
money ! They have already laid thirty-two eggs, 
which sell here at the rate of three-halfpence each. 
One of my hens is hatching twelve eggs, and long 
before this letter reaches you, I hope to have a flou- 
rishing brood. There is a fine large tank close by 
our quarters, where I bathe twice every day, and 
enjoy the luxurious size of my bath." 

Five months later, he thus writes : — 

" My Darling Mother, — I do love you, and that 



THE AWAKENING. 19 

fondly, although I have often (and may God Almighty 
forgive me !) rebelled against your wishes. 

" Mother, I ask your forgiveness for what has 
passed. You know not what real anguish some of 
your letters have caused me ; and although I have 
tried to drown the voice of conscience, after reading 
them, a still small voice has always been whispering 
in my ear, and kept me from committing many a 



In writing, at the same time, to his sister, he 
alludes to forebodings of an early death occasionally 
coming across him, and wishes he were " prepared :" — 

" I am no coward, but the thought of death is so- 
lemn, and the idea of dying far away from home, 
with no fond mother or sister to give me comfort in 
my last moments, is sad enough. Yet I hope the 
effect of these reflections is wholesome, and will make 
me consider seriously whether I am fit to die." 

He thus writes from Newcastle, on the 5th of June 
1849:— 

" My Dearest Mothek, — I have just received 
your truly fond and affectionate letter. I assure you 
it made me shed tears. I feel that my conduct has 
been undutiful in not having written to you oftener. 



20 THE AWAKENING. 

But do not imagine for a moment that my neglect in 
so doing ever arose from forgetfulness. Far worse 
were I than a brute, could I ever cease to remember 
the fondest and most devoted of mothers. My dislike 
to writing in general shall not prevent me from writ- 
ing to you or Mary by every mail for the future, 
without fail ; so I trust you will not have cause again 
to upbraid me for having allowed such long intervals 
of time to elapse between each of my letters to you. 
That part of your letter, in which you mention your 
fainting on the terrace, made my blood curdle in my 
veins, and alarmed me dreadfully. That night I 
knelt by my bedside, and prayed most fervently that 
the Lord Almighty would spare your life, for the sake 
of your orphan children. 

" A son's affection for his mother can only really 
be known, when he feels that her life is in danger. I 
know not what I should do, or what would become of 
me, were you, my precious darling mother, to be 
taken from me. I should go on through life with a 
void, that I know could never be filled up. My chief 
pleasure during the past year has been in looking 
forward to our meeting once again in dear old Eng- 
land ; and oh, what delight this anticipation afforded 
me ! But, mother, you must and will get well again. 
I shall yet, at some not far distant day, have the joy 
of seeing you, and kissing your fondly-remembered 
face. You shall be caused no more pain or anxiety 



THE AWAKENING. 21 

by me. Oh, that my past actions could be obliterated 
from my recollection, and that my conscience could 
acquit me of having done anything to cause you grief 
and uneasiness ! . . . In my last letter, I mentioned 
a wish to get a transfer to a regiment in India ; but, 
of course, now that the war is over, it would be foolish 
to do so. Besides, I have heard lately that there is 
every probability of great promotion in the 97th ; so 
I think I will stand by the Sky-blue. My mind is 
now relieved from its chief pressure by the kindness 
of dearest Clara and her generous husband. 

" I must now tell you of the death of a brother 
officer, Lieutenant Bindon. He died on the 13th of 
May at about five o'clock in the morning. Poor 
fellow ! his was a short but painful illness. I remem- 
ber, when I went into his room the sun was shining 
brightly through the windows, the birds were singing 
cheerily, and the merry laugh of the light-hearted 
soldiers (plainly audible from their barracks) grated 
harshly on my ear. He was dead ! Looking at his 
meek and placid face, calm and unruffled, I could 
hardly believe that I was not gazing on the living 
man. But, alas ! his soul had fled. He was a robust 
and stalwart-looking man, about twenty-four years of 
age. With God's help, I trust I have learnt a lesson 
and a warning from his sudden death. He was buried 
the same evening in the small graveyard at the foot of 
the hill as you enter the cantonment. I, as senior 



22 THE AWAKENING. 

subaltern, had command of the firing party. When 
we arrived, the twilight was fast verging into dark- 
ness, and the funeral service was read by the light of 
a candle. This is soon over, and then all retire from 
the grave except myself and armed party of forty men. 
We then give three volleys — the rolling echoes are 
still reverberating when the earth is thrown in — and 
all is over. Such has been the melancholy end of 
my poor friend and mess-mate. I was deeply affected, 
and could not restrain my tears all the time. I felt 
my voice choked when I gave the command, ' Fire 
three volleys in the air.' 

" I am now in the quarters he once occupied. It 
is a pretty cottage, with two rooms, and a verandah 
in front. When I first went into it, the passion-flower, 
jessamin, and honeysuckle completely covered the 
windows ; but it made the room so dark, and, com- 
bined with the associations of poor Bindon's death, 
rendered the cottage so gloomy, that I pulled it all 
down. I have a pretty little flower-garden, and a 
summer-house formed of a large overhanging bamboo. 
Would that I could transport myself and cottage to 
Essex ! The weather has been lovely for the last 
month. I enjoy the cool fresh air in the morning 
very much. I am never in bed after half-past five in 
the morning, which is the best time to inhale the 

bracing mountain-breeze I have got 

command of a very nice company. The men are 



THE AWAKENING. 23 

mostly well-behaved. My endeavour has always 
been to be kind as well as strict ; the consequence is, 
(although I am my own trumpeter) the men, I believe, 
would do anything for me. . . . Now, dearest 
mother, good-bye. Take care of your health, at least 
(if not for your own sake) for the sake of your ever 
fond and affectionate son, " Hedley." 

About this time, in a letter to one of his sisters, he 



u You did not mean to give me pain, dearest Mary, 
but in the same letter in which you tell me of my 
mother's illness, why did you remind me of those 
strange huffs in which I used to indulge, which may 
well make a son ashamed as he remembers them?' , 

This allusion refers to such domestic traditions of 
his childish perversity, as have already been recorded. 
It touchingly reminds those who knew him best of 
the sensitive tenderness of his heart and conscience. 

" Give my tender love," he adds, " to my darling 
mother, and tell her I received a lock of her hair and 
another of yours, and am going to get a small locket 
for each of them, and shall wear them round my neck 
as a talisman. Darling Mary, I think more of those 
two locks of hair than of anything else in my posses- 



24 THE AWAKENING. 

In July 1849, we find him entrusted with the 
management of a sort of regimental carnival — an 
entertainment which lasted two days, having been 
given "by the 97th to the neighbouring families who 
had shewn them hospitality and attention. At the 
close, he expresses a sense of dissatisfaction, without 
any definite reason for it, but " is glad it is over." 

About this time he writes, with his usual frank 
simplicity, " I have given up my cottage for the last 
fortnight to some invalids from Kingston and their 
doctor, and have domiciled myself in my kitchen. 
They are very grateful to me for my kindness." His 
cottage and garden were his playthings, and his refined 
taste displayed itself in their decoration, although this 
was now exercised with strict economy, for he writes 
that he is H saving every fraction he can, to pay off 
his few remaining debts ; " and winds up this infor- 
mation with the pleasant announcement, u In a short 
time, dear mother, your son will be entirely out of 
debt ; hurrah!" 

It was a year after this time that a more serious 
tone began to be discernible in his letters — a longing 
for something higher than he had hitherto reached — 
a conviction of sin before God, " sin worthy of eternal 
punishment," with a desire to " enter on a state of 
preparedness for death and eternity." But his condi- 
tion is that of one wandering in a labyrinth, and the 
clue to the way home is not yet found. He feels the 



THE AWAKENING. 25 

force of temptation, laments his dread of Ids com- 
panions' ridicule, and confesses his own utter inability 
to turn to God, whilst entreating his mother's prayers 
that the Holy Spirit may be poured out upon him. 

The simple pleasures of his cottage-home have a 
stronger hold than ever upon his heart, and re-awaken 
the old yearnings after those who made home to him 
in England : — 

" My garden is in first-rate order, and I shall be 
sorry to leave it when we are ordered away. The 
passion-flower, twined with honeysuckle and convol- 
vulus, are blooming so prettily over my porch. Oh ! 
my darling mother, that you were here, living in one 
of my rooms ! What pleasure it would give me to 
look once more on your dear face, to mingle my 
prayers with yours for the temporal well-being and 
eternal happiness of mother and son. I generally 
retire to my summer-house to read when I feel serious ; 
there I have no interruption from any one, and can sit 
for hours, with nothing to engage my senses but the 
wide expanse of the distant ocean, the sweet scent of 
heliotrope and geranium, the voice of the tiny hum- 
ming-bird, or the rustling breeze in the lofty and 
quivering bamboos. Even the purring of my little 
kittens is pleasant to me at such a time. What fitter 
season for prayer than when one is surrounded by the 
gifts of the All-powerful Creator ! But, oh ! dear 
mother, I wish I felt more what I write. 



26 THE AWAKENING. 

" A poor gunner of the Boyal Artillery died last 
night. His remains are to be buried to-day. While 
I write, I hear the Dead March, and now the funeral 
party are winding their way to the graveyard, the 
muffled drum and shrill fife calling forth the soldiers 
from their barracks to see their lately gay and laugh- 
ing comrade borne to his last resting-place. Who 
amongst them can tell which shall be next? Little 
they care, poor fellows. The sound of their merry 
laughter will soon be heard again, as unsubdued as 
ever. I hope, my dear mother, that these warnings 
will have a salutary effect upon me. Those have 
lately been carried off whom I knew, and who (like 
myself) thought little of death, until he knocked at 
their own door, and beckoned them to come away — 
where f " 

We- have now come to the close of his life of general 
recklessness, chequered, and of late frequently, with 
strong religious impressions — convictions of sin, which 
resulted in vigorous though short-lived efforts at re- 
form. Of this portion of his life, a valued friend of 
his, then belonging to the 97th, has lately written the 
following short notice : — 

" From the first day I saw Vicars at Zante, in 
1846, I was struck with his manly air and the pecu- 
liar, open truthfulness of his eye. He was at this 



THE AWAKENING. 27 

time much taken up with the gaieties of the island. 
We quitted for Malta, whence, in 1848, we sailed for 
Jamaica. During the voyage, he used to dress as a 
sailor, and delight in making himself useful to the 
crew. In Jamaica, he had the advantages of attending 
an excellent ministr y, and of witnessing the beauty of 
consistent religious character in the family of Dr 
M'llree, the surgeon of the 97th, which had their 
effect upon him. But this all passed away on his being 
withdrawn from these influences, by being ordered to 
the Lowlands to sit on court-martial, where he was 
again led away by unavoidable association with un- 
godly companions. At this time, as I afterwards 
heard from his own lips, he totally neglected prayer 
and the reading of the Bible, and consequently lost 
the power of resisting temptation. A long period 
elapsed before a second conviction arose, and this ap- 
peared to be sudden, and lasted till he left Jamaica. 
He frequently came to me for prayer and the study of 
the Scriptures, either at my own quarters, or at a 
brother officer's.' ' 

The 97th left Jamaica for Halifax, Nova Scotia, in 
June 1851. Almost immediately after landing, he 
was ordered to Canada, to take charge of volunteers 
for a regiment there. It was in the autumn of this 
year that he visited the Falls of Niagara, and his 
journal is written with deep and enthusiastic delight, 



28 THE AWAKENING. 

describing his increasing excitement from the moment 
when he first distinguished the distant roar of the 
waters to that which " rilled him with sublime and 
awful joy when they first broke upon his sight." He 
expresses his belief that no one could be an atheist 
whilst beholding the majestic power of God as dis- 
played in the stupendous magnificence of those Falls ; 
and whilst returning day after day to refresh and 
solemnise his spirit there, he realises with renewed 
earnestness the sinfulness of wasting life in a mere 
search after pleasure, and is impressed with the im- 
portance of having a fixed aim of sufficient strength 
to be a lever to his life. Self-interest, he has found, 
even when calculated upon with the reckoning of 
eternity, is not strong enough at all times to raise a 
man above the dominion of his own inclinations. He 
knew not yet " the expulsive power of a new affec- 
tion," for he had not learnt to say, " The love of 
Christ constraineth me." 



CHAPTEE III. 



"Henceforth I live." 

St Paul. 



" To be awakened" writes one* who, both from in- 
dividual and ministerial experience, well knew the 
difference between convictions and conversion, " you 
need to know your own heart. To be saved, you 
need to know the heart of God and of Christ." 

Hitherto Hedley Vicars had been the subject only 
of the awakening work of the Spirit. In later days, 
when he looked back on that period of his life, he 
distinctly stated, " I was not then converted to God." 
He was seeking, but he had not found, " the grace 
of life." Thank God ! there is no such asking eye 
directed upward, to which He does not, sooner or 
later, " reveal His Son." After all his anxious 
alarms, which had resulted in efforts succeeded by 
failures, he was now to be taught that the strength 
to persevere would be found, when the God of Hope 
should have " filled him with all joy and peace in 
believing /" and that he was to continue " diligent to 

* Rev. Robert M'Cheyne. 



32 CONVEESION. 

be found of Him in peace" as the one way of being 
" without spot and. blameless." 

It was in the month of November 1851 that, 
whilst awaiting the return of a brother officer to his 
room, he idly turned over the leaves of a Bible which 
lay on the table. The words caught his eye, " The 
blood of Jesus Christ His Son cleanseth us from all 
sin." Closing the book, he said, " If this be true for 
me, henceforth I will live, by the grace of God, as a 
man should live who has been washed in the blood 
of Jesus Christ." 

That night he scarcely slept, pondering in his heart 
whether it were presumptuous or not to claim an 
interest in those words. During those wakeful hours, 
he was watched, we cannot doubt, with deep and 
loving interest, by One who never slumbereth nor 
sleepeth ; and it was said of him in heaven, " Behold, 
he prayeth ! " 

In answer to those prayers, he was enabled to 
believe, as he arose in the morning, that the message 
of peace was " true for him," — " a faithful saying, 
and worthy of all acceptation." " The past," he 
said, " then, is blotted out. What I have to do is, 
to go forward. I cannot return to the sins from 
which my Saviour has cleansed me with His own 
blood." 

An impetus was now given in a new direction, of 
sufficient force to last till the race was run — until he 



COXVEBSIOX. 33 

could say with the Apostle Paul, u I have fought a 
good fight, I have finished my course, I have kept 
the faith." Thenceforth he lived. And the life he 
now lived in the flesh, he lived by the faith of the 
Son of God, of whom he delighted to say, with 
realising faith and adoring gratitude, " He loved me, 
and gave Himself for me." 

On the morning which succeeded that memorable 
night, he bought a large Bible, and placed it open on 
the table in his sitting-room, determined that u an 
open Bible," for the future, should be u his colours." 
" It was to speak for me," he said, u before I was 
strong enough to speak for myself." His friends 
came as usual to his rooms, and did not altogether 
fancy the new colours. One remarked, that he had 
" turned Methodist," and, with a shrug, retreated. 
Another ventured on the bolder measure of warning 
him not to become a hypocrite : " Bad as you were, 
I never thought you would come to this, old fellow." 
So, for the most part, for a time, his quarters were 
deserted by his late companions. During six or 
seven months he had to encounter no slight opposi- 
tion at mess, " and had hard work," as he said, " to 
stand his ground." But the promise did not fail, 
u The righteous shall hold on his way, and he that 
hath clean hands shall wax stronger and stronger." 

All this time he found great comfort in the society 
of a few brother officers who were walking with God, 

c 



34 CONVEKSION, 

but especially in the faithful preaching of the Gospel 
of Jesus Christ by Dr Twining, Garrison Chaplain 
at Halifax, and in the personal friendship of that 
man of God, which he enjoyed uninterruptedly from 
that time until the day of his death. Under so deep 
an obligation did he consider himself to Dr Twining, 
that he frequently referred to him as his spiritual 
father ; and to his scriptural preaching and teaching, 
and blessed example of u walking with God," may 
doubtless be traced, under the mighty working of the 
Holy Spirit, those clear and happy views of religion 
and that consistency and holiness of life which suc- 
ceeded his conversion. 

We learn, from a letter recently quoted,* that from 
this time his conversation grew daily more deeply 
spiritual, and that he lost no opportunity of attending 
every public service in Dr Twining' s church, and his 
Bible Classes for officers, soldiers, and those in hos- 
pital. His rapid growth in knowledge and grace is 
mainly attributed to the instruction and profit gained 
at these classes, by a senior officer in the 97th, whose 
friendship he deeply valued.f 

A heart so large and loving by nature as that of 
Hedley Vicars can scarcely accept the open invitation 
to come to Jesus for pardon, peace, and eternal life, 

* From Charles Cay, Esq., Assistant-Surgeon, Coldstream Guards, 
late of the 97th. 
T Lieutenant- Colonel Ingram. 



CONVEKSION. 35 

without giving an immediate response to the injunc- 
tion, "Let him that heareth say, Come." Accord- 
ingly he began to teach in a Sunday-school, to visit 
the sick, and to take every opportunity of reading the 
Scriptures and praying with the men singly. Of 
three of these, whom he describes as " once great 
sinners, nearly as bad as myself," he could soon say 
confidently that they had followed him in turning to 
God. At the same time, he was also the means of 
awakening some of his brother officers to make the 
earnest inquiry, " What must I do to be saved?" 

" As he felt he had been much forgiven," writes 
the friend before alluded to, " so in proportion was the 
ever-burning and increasing love to Him whom he 
had so long grieved by his sins. The name of Jesus 
was ever on his lips and in his heart. Much grace 
was given him to confess Jesus boldly before others ; 
and when he was Adjutant, his example and his re- 
bukes to the men for swearing carried great weight, 
and shewed his zeal for the honour of God." 

The Adjutancy of his regiment was offered to him 
by his Colonel in the spring of that year (1852) with 
these flattering words : — " Vicars, you are the man I 
can best trust with responsibility." This appoint- 
ment appears to have given universal satisfaction 
amongst officers and men, although one of the officers 



36 CONVERSION. 

remarked, jestingly, " He won't do for it — he is too 
conscientious." 

This conscientiousness was not only evinced in his 
military but also in his private life. Every amuse- 
ment which he found to be injurious in its effect on 
his spiritual condition was cheerfully relinquished. 
In a letter to his eldest sister, he inquires her opinion 
of balls and other public entertainments, and adds : — 
" I have of late refused every invitation to such 
amusements,' on finding they made me less earnest 
and thoughtful, and indisposed me for reading and 
prayer." 

We find his growth in grace indicated in the fol- 
lowing letter : — 

TO MISS VICARS. 

" April 29, 1852. 

" My darling Mary, — I am going on much in the 
same manner as usual, with nothing to disturb the 
even tenour of my way. But no ; I must correct my- 
self here, for I trust that I have really turned over a 
new leaf, and that my heart is gradually but surely 
undergoing a purifying process. 

" I have been fighting hard against sin. I mean, 
not only what the world understands by that term, 
but against the power of it in my heart : the con- 
flict has been severe, — it is so still ; but I trust, by 
the help of God, that I shall finally obtain the mastery- 



CONVERSION. 37 

What I pray for most constantly is, that I may be 
enabled to see more clearly the wicked state of my 
heart by nature, and thus to feel my greater need of an 
Almighty Saviour. You cannot imagine what doubts 
and torments assail my mind at times, how torn and 
harassed I am by sinful thoughts and want of faith. 

" You, Mary, can never experience my feelings, for 
you know not in what a sinful state my life has been 
passed. Well may I call myself the ' chief of sin- 
ners V I sometimes even add to my sins, by doubt- 
ing the efficacy of Christ's atonement, and the cleans- 
ing power of his precious blood to wash away my 
sins. Oh, that I could realise to myself more fully 
that his blood l cleanseth us from all sin ! ' 

" I was always foremost and daring enough in sin. 
Would that I could shew the same spirit in the cause 
of religion; would that I felt as little fear of being 
called and thought to be a Christian, as I used to feel 
of being enlisted against Christianity ! 

" ' Am I a soldier of the Cross, 
A follower of the Lamb ; 
And shall I fear to own his cause, 
Or blush to speak his name V 

11 1 trust I am beginning to see and feel the folly 
and vanity of the world and all its pleasures, and that 
I have at length entered the strait gate, and am 
travelling the narrow road that leadeth unto eternal 
life. 



38 CONVERSION. 

"I trust you will not consider ine a confirmed 
egotist, for writing so much of myself. I have done 
so, because I thought you would like to hear how 
changed I am become. 

" I trust, dearest, that your heart has been changed, 
long before mine was touched. Let us both remem- 
ber that we can do no good thing of ourselves, for it 
is the Lord alone who worketh in us both to will and 
do of his good pleasure. Let us not trust in our own 
righteousness, which is but as • filthy rags,' but let us 
trust entirely in the merits and blood of our blessed 
Saviour. I never can sufficiently shew my gratitude 
to God, who has shewn such long-suffering forbear- 
ance towards me, — who has spared me through so 
many scenes of sin and folly. 

" Summer has begun to change the face of nature, 
and everything is looking green and lovely. I took a 
delightful walk into the country yesterday evening, — 
"the first time I ever enjoyed the blessed sense of com- 
munion with God. But when I came home it had 
all fled, and left me in a disturbed and restless state 
of mind ; my summer heart of warmth and love had 
changed back into its natural state of winter, cold and 
dead ! 

" I am sorry to say that poor Lieutenant J 

is in a very precarious state ; even if he recovers, he 
will never have the use of his leg. I go sometimes to 
sit with him, and endeavour to bring to his mind the 



CONVERSION. 39 

things which belong to his everlasting peace. He 
said to me one day, ' Vicars, tell me, do you really 
feel happier now than you did ? ' Poor fellow ! he is 
in a very desponding state of mind. 

"I generally spend four or five hours each day, 
when not on duty, in reading the Bible, and medita- 
tion and prayer, and take a walk every afternoon for 
a couple of hours. I am longing to see you all again, 
but I do not know when I shall be able. Write soon, 
and tell me how you all are getting on, especially how 
my darling mother is. Is she looking ill ? Does she 
get out every day ? Do not you think that the sum- 
mer will make her better ? Give my fond love to her. 
I will write to her by the next mail, please God. 

" Pray for me, and believe me, I never forget to 
pray for you all. 

" How little we do to shew our love for that Saviour, 
who agonised on the cross for our sakes. I cannot 
close my letter better than by beseeching Him to give 
us his Holy Spirit, to draw our hearts above this world, 
to look to the Saviour with the eye of faith. 

" ' When I survey the wondrous cross 
On which the Prince of Q-lory died, 
My richest gain I count but loss, 
And pour contempt on all my pride. 

" ' Forbid it, Lord, that I should boast, 

Save in the cross of Christ my Glod : 

All the vain things that charm me most, 

I sacrifice them to his blood.' 
V 



40 CONVERSION. 

" Adieu, my dearest Mary ; and always remember 
me as 

" Your affectionate and attached brother, 

" Hedley." 



To his brother he writes : — 

" May 13, 1852. 

" . . . . Let us pray earnestly for the Holy 
Spirit, and we shall not be sent empty away. Let 
us ask Him to shew us the sinful state of our hearts. 
I have found comparatively little trouble in giving 
up external sins, but the innate sin of my heart, oh, 
how great it is ! It is here the real battle must be 
fought ; and the more humbling is the sense of our 
vileness, the more we shall feel the need and value 
of a Saviour. We all have our temptations, and in 
scarcely any profession could they more beset the 
Christian beginner, than in the army. 

" But let us remember, whatever be our calling, 
God has promised that we shall not be tempted above 
that we are able to bear. Only let us feel that we are 
unable of ourselves to resist evil, or to do anything 
good ; let us look to Christ, and trust in Him alone, 
and take up our cross, and follow Him. We must 
give up the pleasures of the world, for they unfit us 
for spiritual meditation ; and although they may be 



CONVEESION. 41 

hard to part with, as a right eye or right hand ; there 
is no alternative, if we wish to grow in grace. 

" You will, perhaps, be surprised, as you read 
this letter, at the change which has come over me. 
Yes, I believe and feel that I am a changed man; 
that I have taken the important step of declaring on 
whose side I will be. Oh, that I could persuade you 
to enrol yourself with me on the side of Jesus 
Christ! 

" As Newton says, 6 1 know what the world can 
do, and what it can not do.' It cannot give or take 
away that peace of God which passeth all under- 
standing. It cannot soothe the wounded conscience, 
nor enable us to meet death with comfort. I have 
tried both services. For twenty-four years have I 
lived under the thraldom of sin, led by the Devil. 
None need despair of being welcomed by the Saviour, 
when He has pardoned and brought to repentance 
such a sinner as I have been. The retrospect of my 
past life is now miserable to me ; yet before I was 
taught by the Spirit of God, I thought and called it 
a life of pleasure / The very name, when applied to 
sin, now makes my heart sicken. Even then I never 
could enjoy recalling the occupations of each day; 
and think you my conscience was quiet ? No, though 
again and again I stifled it, as too many do. Bitter 
experience has taught me that l there is no peace to 
the wicked.' Blessed be God, I know now that I 



42 CONVEKSION. 

am pardoned and reconciled to God, through the 
death of his Son. How happy is the Christian's life, 
when he has this assurance ! 

u Do not think, dear Edward, that, because I write 
thus, I wish you to think me very religious, or that 
I consider myself better than you. I do not. But 
I find more pleasure now in writing on these sub- 
jects than on any other, and I want to draw out 
your thoughts about them. If you have not yet 
turned entirely to God, take my advice, and if you 
want to find true happiness, do so at once. ,, 

A letter, dated June 23, 1852, indicates his steady 
progress in the new course : — 

" My daeling Mothek, — If you look out you will 
probably see my name in the Gazette in a fortnight 
or so, as the Colonel sends the recommendation home 
by this mail. My worldly prospects will soon be 
considerably improved. What reason I have to be 
thankful to Him who, notwithstanding my utter 
unworthiness, has been so kind and merciful to me ! 
Oh ! that I felt more love and gratitude to Him ! I 
trust, my dear mother, that in the performance of the 
arduous duties of an adjutant I may never neglect 
the more important duties of a Christian, and that 
I may do all to the glory of God. How amply shall 
I be repaid if even one of my fellow-soldiers is 



CONVEESION. 43 

brought by my example and advice, as a means in 
the hand of God, to a saving knowledge of his mer- 
cies in Christ. I must be prepared to meet with 
much discouragement from ignorance and hardness 
of heart; but I will endeavour to do my duty, and 
leave the issue to God, remembering the words, 
* Paul may plant, and Apollos water, but it is God 
alone who giveth the increase.' 

" Poor J 's leg was amputated above the knee 

on Saturday. The operation was performed under 
the influence of chloroform. He bore with Christian 
resignation the will of his Heavenly Father. I was 
in Dr Twining' s house during the time, but not pre- 
sent at the amputation, as I could be of no use. He 
is now getting on well, poor fellow. I am delighted 
to say I firmly believe that his suffering illness has, 
through the blessing of God, been made the means 
of the conversion of his immortal soul. 

" Four or five of my brother officers attend Dr 
Twining' s Bible-class. One of them has, I trust, 
been truly converted. He was, like myself, about 
the last in the regiment one would ever have thought 
likely to become religious ; but God's ways are not as 
our ways, nor his thoughts as our thoughts. I trust 
his example may do much good. It is grievous to 
see how little regard men pay to the salvation of their 
never-dying souls. But I must ever remember that 
I was once like them, and worse ; and that it is only 



44 CONVEKSION. 

through the grace of God that I am now different. 
It may truly be said of me, c Is not this a brand 
plucked from the burning?' I now see the direful 
effect of a long continuance in evil, for sin has had 
for such a length of time so entire a dominion over 
me, that I find it hard to fight against it, and often 
think I must be worse than any one else. If the Holy 
Spirit did not help me, I never could have made even 
the little progress in religion that I have made. If 
left to myself I must fall. Oh ! that I may increase 
and grow in grace each day ! " 

The same earnest tone pervades all his letters during 
the remainder of his residence in Nova Scotia. We 
find allusions to conflicts and difficulties in overcom- 
ing temptations and establishing a new course of life. 
" But I know it must be done, and in God's strength 
it shall be," is ever the conclusion. 

Newton's " Cardiphonia " was a book which at this 
time afforded him much help and consolation : — 

" Do send for it, if you have never yet read it. I 
get great comfort from his letters, for they shew that 
every believer is exposed to the same temptations and 
trials, in a greater or less degree, and that his life is 
one of continual warfare. Does not even St Paul 
tell us that he had a constant conflict of conscience 
against inclination, of the desire to do right against 



CONVERSION. 45 

the promptings of evil? I feel with Newton how 
poor, and weak, and simple I am, but that Jesus is 
wise, and strong, and abounding in grace. He has 
given me a desire to trust my all in his hands, and 
He will not disappoint the expectation which He has 
himself raised. 

" ' How oft have sin and Satan strove 

To rend my soul from thee, my Gfod ; 
But everlasting is thy love, 

And Jesus seals it with his blood.' " 

A letter, written by Dr Twining to Captain Vicars' 
eldest sister, upon receiving the intelligence of his 
death, may find its place most appropriately here, as 
it gives a sketch of this period of his life : — 

" Halifax, May 21, 1855. 

"My deae Lady Eayleigh,— I felt impelled to 
write to you as soon as I had learned that the Lord 
had been pleased, in the inscrutable dispensation of 
his providence, to call my dear and highly-valued 
friend from his service on earth to the fulness of joy 
at his right hand for ever. 

" I thank you very much for your letter, written at 
a time when your heart must be wrung with sorrow. 
I have long perceived in my beloved young friend a 
rapid ripening for glory. This was evident in his 
entire devotion of soul to the Saviour, whom he loved, 



46 CONVEKSION. 

and that intimate knowledge of the length, and 
breadth, and depth of the love of Christ which he 
possessed, it seemed to me, in an increased and in- 
creasing degree every time I heard from him. Our 
short-sighted eyes might see many reasons why he 
should be continued in a sphere of usefulness which 
he so eminently filled and adorned ; but we see 
through a glass darkly : He who has been pleased 
to say unto him, £ Come up higher,' has condescended 
to say to us that all shall be explained when we see 
face to face, and know as we are known. c What I 
do thou knowest not now, but thou shalt know here- 
after.' 

" You ask me for some details relative to my dear 
friend. It affords me a melancholy pleasure to give 
them, as well because it is the wish of those to whom 
he was most dear, as because it recalls the occasions 
when we took sweet counsel together and walked as 
friends. 

" When I first knew Captain Vicars he was l walk- 
ing according to the course of this world.' He had, 
as he told me, been under strong convictions in the 
West Indies, and attended religious meetings; but 
trusting in his own resolutions, and not in the Sa- 
viours strength, he had fallen again under the power 
of temptation. There was something very attractive 
in his appearance, and I asked him to meet with a few 
officers and others at my house to join in reading the 



CONVERSION. 47 

Scriptures, conversation, and prayer. He came at 
once, and never failed to attend regularly. It was 
soon evident that he took a deep interest in the matter. 
He became a teacher in my Sunday-school and 
attended a Bible-class which I had established on 
Sunday-evening for soldiers, and another during the 
week for soldiers' wives j this he did to encourage 
the men and women of his regiment to come. He 
and Mr Nash always spent Sunday evening at my 
house, as they never dined at the regimental mess on 
that day. He told me of all his trials, and we often 
knelt together in my little study, laying them all 
open before a throne of grace. It was evident, as 
time passed on, that he was growing in knowledge, in 
grace, in consistency, in firmness, in Christian expe- 
rience. 

" I knew him much more intimately afterwards. 

An officer in the 97th Kegiment, Mr J , was 

shot through the knee in moose-hunting, and being 
very uncomfortable at his quarters, I brought him to 
my house, and took care of him until (after the 
amputation of his leg) he finally recovered. Vicars 
evinced the tenderest regard for the body and soul 
of his brother officer ; he nursed him with the great- 
est assiduity, and for six weeks was a constant inmate 
of my house. Then I began most intimately to 
know him — his high and honourable principles, his 
tender heart, his sweet disposition, and all sanctified 



48 CONVERSION. 

by Divine grace! His was a lovely character; it 
was impossible to know him and not love him; 
every creature about my house did love him. He 
had to suffer a fiery persecution from some of the 
officers of his regiment. The Lord saw that it was 
best, and made it a means of strengthening and con- 
firming ■ him in the faith. You know, my dear 
Madam, that a certain degree of religion is considered 
by the world to be decorous and proper, but there is 
nothing so much dreaded as being l righteous over- 
much.' It is quite impossible for a Christian to 
comply with the maxims and customs of a world 
which ' lieth in wickedness ; ' but my beloved friend 
was strengthened to bear a consistent testimony to 
the truth, to take up his cross and follow Jesus. 

" He took part in all efforts amongst us in the 
Redeemer's cause to win souls to him. For example, 
the Naval and Military Bible Society, City Missions 
on the plan of those at home, and a Society for giving 
the Scriptures in their own language to the Mic-mac 
Indians — the aborigines of this country. Of these 
Societies he was a member, and his memory is now 
warmly cherished by those with whom he was a 
fellow-labourer in these causes. But he rests from 
his labours, his emancipated spirit is with its God. 
Oh, that we may have grace to follow in his steps ! 
I enclose one or two of his letters to me ; may I ask 
their return ? They are now doubly precious in my 



CONVERSION. 49 

sight. My prayers are offered up at the throne of 
grace for the bereaved mother and afflicted relatives 
of my friend. 

" I am, my dear Madam, 
" Your faithful servant in Christ, 

" J. T. Twining." 



CHAPTEE IV. 



" Take my heart, Lord, for I cannot give it to Thee. 
Keep it, for I cannot keep it for Thee. " 

St Augustine. 



Fkom his diary, kept daily with conscientious regu- 
larity and faithfulness, we give the following brief 
extracts : — 

" July 3, 1852. — Eode out to visit Brunt, a poor 
ordnance labourer. Read and prayed with him for 
nearly an hour. He appears to be very ill, but all 
his hopes are fixed on Christ. 

iC Sunday , 4th. — Read a chapter of Bogatsky this 
morning. Unrefreshed after morning prayer. In- 
structed my class at the Sunday-school. Thoughts 
wandering during Divine service. Bead and prayed 
with Corporal Cranny, 42d Regiment, for nearly an 
hour. A bright specimen of a dying Christian. 
There were eighteen of us at Dr Twining's class in 
the evening. 

" 5th. — Rose at half-past ^.ve. Read a chapter 
in Bogatsky. I feel I am but little advanced as yet. 
Evil thoughts during the day. Read with Corporal 



54 DIAET. 

Cranny for about an hour. Would that I were more 
like him ! From not having prayed for God's bless- 
ing on what I was going to read, I felt little comfort 
from it. Did not offer to pray with him, as I was 
afraid I should break down. Bead and prayed with 
Brunt for an hour. 

" 6th. — Engaged at orderly-room work, and rub- 
bing-up drill. My mind more at peace than it is 
generally. I was with Jones for a short time in the 
evening. I told him I had been to see Cranny and 
Brunt. I am afraid I did so with the idea that I 
should be thought well of. I must strive much against 
self-righteousness. Let me always endeavour to feel 
that, having done all, I am but an unprofitable ser- 
vant. 

" 8th. — Prayed rather hurriedly, owing to putting 
it off too late. Wrote to Mary. Intended to have 
gone to see Cranny and Brunt, but had not time. 
At Dr Twining's class in the evening ; there were 
sixteen sergeants, two privates, and two women pre- 
sent. Prayed at night about twelve o'clock. 

" 9th. — Awoke sleepy and dull, but after prayer 
felt much happier. Lost my temper once or twice 
with the men. I feel I am unable of myself to do 
anything aright. Eead Luke xv. with Cranny, and 
prayed. Afterwards read and prayed with Brunt 
In the evening I became unhappy, from thoughts of 
all my former sins. 



DIAET. 55 

u llth. — In a very happy state of mind after prayer ; 
still the merest trifles distract my mind. I attended 
the Temperance Meeting in the evening, when I was 
delighted to see abont sixty soldiers of the 97th. I 
wish the whole regiment would join. 

" Sunday ', 18th. — Went to the Sunday-school. In 
the evening, we had sixteen officers and men at the 
class in the hospital. Went to church afterwards. 
Text — ' Create in me a clean heart, God, and renew 
a right spirit within me.' Oh ! do thou grant me 
this, for Jesus Christ's sake ! 

" 20th. — Arose this morning with no near views of 
Jesus. Out of temper again to-day. Oh ! I must 
strive against this. Eead with Cranny for half-an- 
hour ; then went to Dr Twining' s class. Two there 
beside myself. I have forgotten God to-day. 
Thoughts wandering in prayer. I must look entirely 
to Christ, and live out of myself. 

" 26th. — Spoke to Hylyard and two others this 
morning about religion. I believe Hylyard to be 
truly converted. He was with poor Brunt last night. 
He could not speak. He is probably dead now, poor 
fellow ! If so, I trust that his soul is now with the 
' spirits of just men made perfect.' Prayed with 
some fervour. My past sins strike me now so 
differently from what they did. Jesus is my only 
hope. Eead and prayed in the evening for an hour 
and a-half with Brunt. I think he is dying. 



56 DIARY. 

" 28th. — Was preserved^ answer to rny prayer faom. 
an evil temper at drill. Oh ! my God, grant that it 
may always be so ! Eead and prayed with poor 
Brunt. Four of the 97th soldiers came in, and sat 
down. I have great hopes of all. I was enabled to 
speak to them pretty freely. 

u August 9th. — In a happy frame of mind nearly all 
day. Went to the levee at two o'clock. Dined with 
Jones ; talked with him on religious subjects ; felt a 
good deal of pride in talking. Oh ! my God, enable 
me to overcome this, and to feel myself indeed to be 
but a worthless sinner. 

u 10th. — Had happy thoughts of Jesus. Not many 
wandering thoughts at morning prayer. Shewed how 
far I am from hating sin, by telling with pleasure of 
some of my mad acts at Malta to two of my brother 
officers. 

" 16th. — Still in a torpid state of mind. God, 
grant that I am not going back in religion! How 
seldom have I this day thought of all Christ has done 
for me ! Did not read a chapter this afternoon ; prayer 
wandering. Eead a psalm with Brunt, but not at all 
happy in doing so. Eead the papers till too late at 
night, and in evening prayer found my thoughts 
wandering. Oh ! my God, give me thy Holy Spirit, 
or I must fall back to my old state ! Oh ! that I 
could rest more entirely on thee for strength ! 

" 21st. — .... Eead and prayed with Brunt. 



DIARY. 57 

Was enabled to speak to him ; but felt how little right 
I had to speak. 

" 23d. — -My mind more tranquil during the day. 
God, I thank thee that thou hast answered my 
prayers, and enabled me to fi.%. my heart on my 
Saviour ! May I live for the future to thy glory ! I 
want to love Christ above all. Eead and prayed 
with Brunt for some time. 

" 2£th. — My mind more composed to-day than 
usual. I must have a regular system of reading the 
Scriptures every day. Psalm in the morning, Gospel 
in the afternoon, and Epistle in the evening. Did 

wrong in the evening in laughing at poor . I 

must give up teasing him, for it is unchristian-like. 

God ! give me thy Holy Spirit to enable me to 
overcome this habit. 

" 26th. — I begin to see more clearly every day the 
depravity of my heart, and my own utter inability to 
turn to God of myself. At the class, in the evening, 
about fifteen. I went to Dr Twining's afterwards. 
Spoke ill-naturedly of one or two. I would that I 
could do two things — never speak about myself, and 
never speak evil of any one. 

" 27th. — Have had happy thoughts of Christ to- 
day. Oh ! what cause have I to love him ! God, 

1 would devote myself to thee for ever. I want chiefly 
grace to live out of myself — to look to Christ alone. 
The missionary M f Gordon came to me in the 



58 DIARY. 

evening. He is a very good man. He talked to me 
of Christ. 

" BOth. — Had thoughts of unbelief this morning. 
Spoke to Langford and Wilcox ; hope what I said to 
them may prove, through God's blessing, of some 
good. I feel that pride is one of iny most besetting 
sins. Oh, that I had a humble spirit ! God, 
undeserving as I am, grant me more of thy Holy 
Spirit. 

" September 2d. — I have just come from seeing poor 
Brunt's corpse. I went there to read with him, and 
found him in his coffin. Oh, how my heart smote 
me ! It is ten days since I last read with him. 
Forgive me, my God, this, and give me thy Holy 
Spirit to sanctify me more and more for thy service. 

" September 8th. — Kemained in bed till half-past 
seven. Much troubled with doubts of my being 
justified, and the fear that I am striving to gain 
heaven. God, give me thy Holy Spirit, that I may 
look solely to my Saviour! Better after prayer. 
Afraid to talk to my orderly on religion. 

" September 11th. — Eemained in bed till nearly 
eight o'clock. Oh, how hard it is to do what I know 
to be right ! Prayed to-day for help from above to 
enable me to strive more against a growing desire to 
save myself. God, enable me to look to the finished 
work of Jesus ! 

u Saturday j 20th. — Passed the day in a very list- 



DIARY. 59 

less manner — did not, through a sort of fear, go and 
read with Cranny. Joking too much for my own 
happiness and comfort. Eead a little of Haweis on 
the Sacrament. Oh, do thou, Holy Spirit, shine into 
my heart, and sanctify and prepare me for par- 
taking aright of the blessed sacrament of the body and 
blood of Christ on Sunday ! 

" Sunday, 26th. — In a very happy frame of mind 
nearly all day. Went to a prayer-meeting at halt- 
past six o'clock A.M. Partook of the sacrament ; 
rather a happy season. I trust I shall keep the vows 
I made. 

" October 19th. — Got up at half-past six. Grievously 
distressed with thoughts of my great sins. God, 
thou art of purer eyes than to behold my iniquity, 
yet for thy dear Son's sake forgive me all my sins. I 
well know their exceeding sinfulness, but the blood 
of Christ cleanseth me from all sin. 

" October 29th. — Eemained in bed till eight o'clock. 
Must give up this slothfulness. Had not time to read 
my chapter till twelve o'clock, all owing to love of 
sleep. At mess scarcely any thoughts of Jesus ; 
slight symptoms of a desire to return to the world 
and sin. 

" November 5th. — Eose at seven o'clock. Would 
that I could fix my waking thoughts on Jesus ! How 
few are the moments I think of Him to those in which 
I forget Him ! Walked with Desmond and Nash. 



60 DIARY. 

Kirby wrote me a letter thanking me for bringing 
him back to trust in Jesus. He talks of his sins. 
Little does he know the sinner he talks to. 

" 15th, — Arose at seven. A few thoughts of Jesus 
whilst dressing. I would that I had a heart more 
entirely set on things above ! What a body of sin I 
carry about! Eeceived the reports of the Mic-mac 
Missionary Society — rather proud at seeing my name 
in the list of subscribers. When shall I conquer this 
detestable pride ? When shall I look upon myself as 
the vilest of sinners, as indeed I am ? 

" 16th. — At the class offered up a few ejaculatory 
prayers to Him who seeth in secret. Walked out 
with Dr Twining — spoke very profitably together 
about our precious Saviour. I told him what just 
came into my mind, namely, that I lost at Corfu the 
Bible my mother gave me about seven years ago, and 
after being about five years without any, I purchased 
a small one at Jamaica, I think, but of so indistinct a 
print that I could scarcely read it. I certainly rarely 
did. God, may I redeem the time that may yet be 
left me ! I shall keep my diary in another book to- 
morrow, and make out a few rules to go by." 

The following passage might truly be called the 
creed of his heart : — 

" I have got over some rough ground since I was 



DIAEY-. 61 

first led to seek after happiness, where alone it can be 
found, in the religion of Jesus. I have had to "battle 
much against the temptations of the world, the flesh, 
and the devil ; but though often on the point of 
giving up the struggle in despair, the goodness, the 
long-suffering, the wondrous loving-kindness of my 
God have guarded and watched over me, and kept me 
from falling utterly away from Him. Oh, what cause 
have I to give Him most humble and hearty thanks 
for all his goodness towards me ! When I look back 
on my past life, nearly six and twenty years, I see 
nothing but an accumulation of transgression and sin. 
Oh, my soul, let me remember with disgust and hor- 
ror that for nearly five and twenty years I was a 
willing servant of Satan. What aggravates my wick- 
edness is, that it has been all committed in spite 
of the advice and warnings of a truly Christian 
mother, and how often I have silenced the voice of 
conscience. But why dwell any more on a life which 
has been wasted ? Why bring up the remembrance of 
sins, each one of which would have murdered my soul 
had I died in the act of commission ? I do it that 
they may humble and prostrate me in the dust before 
that holy God who has said, c The soul that sinneth it 
shall die.' I acknowledge, my God, that hell is 
only my desert — that were I ever consigned to its 
abode it would be but a just recompense for my trans- 
gressions. Let me ever keep in mind that if I am 



62 DIAEY. 

saved it must be entirely and solely through Divine 
mercy in Christ Jesus. Were I to be judged according 
to my works, I should be justly condemned. But 
thanks be to God for the gift of his precious Word, 
which reveals his wondrous love in sending his only 
begotten Son into the world to die for sinners. There 
I read that Jesus Christ was crucified for me, that He 
bore in his own body all my sins — that his blood 
cleanseth from all sin — that He has paid the pe- 
nalty due to sin — that He has satisfied God's 
intense hatred towards sin. Had my salvation de- 
pended upon keeping the law, I should be without 
hope, for I have broken it thousands of times. But 
through this man, the Lord Jesus, is preached the 
forgiveness of sins, and they that believe are justified 
from all things. Oh, then, let me close with God's 
free offer of salvation to all, i Believe on the Lord 
Jesus Christ, and thou shalt be saved.' Let me look 
to Christ as my righteousness, sanctifi cation, and 
redemption. Let me lay aside every weight and the 
sin which doth so easily beset me, and let me run 
with patience the race set before me, looking unto 
Jesus, the author and finisher of my faith, working 
out my own salvation with fear and trembling, remem- 
bering that it is God that worketh in me to will and 
to do of his good pleasure. I would from this day 
give up the remainder of my life to the service of God. 
I will keep on this diary that I may be able to trace 



DIARY. 63 

the progress I make in the Christian life, and I will 
faithfully put down everything. I will draw up some 
rules to enable me the better to devote some portion 
of each day to God's service. By these I will be 
guided while I remain in Halifax." 

WINTER. 

" Kise every morning at seven o'clock. Meditate 
on a text, whilst dressing. From eight to nine, read 
a chapter in the Old Testament, and prayer. From 
nine to ten, breakfast, and read newspaper, or any 
light book, carefully avoiding novels. From ten to 
one, orderly room work. From one to half-past two, 
a chapter in the Gospels, and prayer. From half- 
past two to four, orderly room work. From four to 
six, exercise, visiting sick people, &c. Offer up a 
short prayer, before going to mess, that God would 
keep me from temptation. After dinner, offer up a 
prayer to God first ; then read books of general inte- 
rest ; and give an hour to my Bible and prayer, before 
going to bed ; and oh, I beseech Thee, my heavenly 
Father, to enable me thus to devote the remainder of 
my days to Thee ! May my motto be, ' Not slothful 
in business, but fervent in spirit, serving the Lord.' 

"November 19th. — Kose at seven o'clock. Meditated, 
whilst dressing, on 'Ye must be born again.' Oh, 
how happy I am when I can fix my thoughts on 



64 DIAEY. 

Jesus ! Much engaged during the day in orderly room 
work. In the afternoon spoke, for a short time, to 
Hylyard. Whilst on my way to the mess, thought 
on that text, c There is therefore now no condemnation 
to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after 
the flesh, but after the Spirit.' During dinner, rather 
too much given to levity. Gave a dollar to a district 
charity. I do not know that I gave it in a right 
spirit. I know I look too much to what the world 
may say of me if I do not give. Oh, that I may do 
all things with a single eye to the glory of God! 
Evening prayer distracted. Oh, that I could shut 
out the world ; that I could banish my own evil heart 
when at prayer ! How sweet would then be my com- 
munion with God ! Bead 2 Thess. ii. 

" November 20th. — Stayed in bed this morning till 
twenty minutes past seven. I have broken one of 
my rules again. I must endeavour to conquer this 
slothfulness. Bead again John viii. What comfort 
in reading the Saviour's love and compassion, i Go, 
and sin no more ! ' Jesus, I would hear Thy voice 
saying to me, i Go, and sin no more.' My sins have 
been exceeding great, but they do not exceed Thy 
love and willingness to pardon. Yet how prone I am 
to think otherwise. Lord, increase mj faith ! Bead 
some of Bickersteth's ' Life.' Oh, that I had more of 
his devotion and love to the Saviour ! I sometimes 
really doubt whether 1 believe that Jesus bled and 



DIARY. 65 

suffered for me ; for although I have a kind of belief 
that He did, yet how small my gratitude and love ; 
how cold and hard my heart ! I have not shed a tear 
for months ; in fact, I do not think I ever cried over 
my sins more than three or four times. 

" November 22d. — Endeavoured to meditate, whilst 
dressing, on c My soul longeth, yea, even fainteth for 
the courts of the Lord ; my heart and my flesh crieth 
out for the living God.' Alas, my soul, how different 

it is with thee ! Mr called to ask me if I 

would become a district visitor, to which I agreed. 
Met Dr Twining, on my return from walking, and 

told him that Mr had asked me to become a 

visitor. He disapproved of it, and said that my duty 
was to "devote my spare time to the soldiers of my 
regiment. I feel that I have not been sufficiently 
earnest in this of late. Oh, let me start once again 
in the path of my own Christian duty, labouring alone 
from love to Christ, and praying always for his bless- 
ing on whatever I may undertake. Let me devote all 
my energies to the work of endeavouring to bring my 
fellow-sinners and fellow-soldiers unto Jesus ; and do 
Thou, my heavenly Father, bless my feeble efforts, 
and make- me the means in Thy hands of bringing 
many from darkness to light. May I ever feel it a 
glorious privilege to be permitted to raise my voice 
in the cause of that Saviour whom I have so often 
rejected and denied j and when discouraged by seeing 



66 DIARY. 

no good results, let me put faith in Thee, and in Thy 
Word, l Cast thy bread upon the waters, and thou 
shalt find it again after many days.' May I never 
omit earnest prayer for all those in whom I may per- 
ceive any sign of grace, and never despair of the 
hardest-hearted sinner, remembering what I once 
was. 

" January 8th, 1853.— Hose at seven. Meditated 
on the words, 1 1 will hear what God the Lord will 
speak ; for He will speak peace to his people and to 
his saints ; but let them not turn again to folly.' 
May I ever, ever be guided by the promptings of the 
Holy Spirit ! Let me wait patiently for his out- 
pouring ; then shall I have peace and joy ; my soul 
shall magnify the Lord, and my spirit shall rejoice 
in God my Saviour. But, oh, let me beware of self- 
confidence and security. ' Let him that thinketh he 
standeth take heed lest he fall.' 

" Sunday, 9th. — Bose at ten minutes after seven. 
Text, l If ye abide in me, and my words abide in 
you, ye shall ask what ye will, and it shall be done 
unto you.' What comfort, what consolation ! 
Jesus, may I ever rest all my hopes on Thee ! May 
I study to please Thee, and may Thy Word be my 
delight! Very happy all day. Was enabled to 
speak freely with the children at the class. They 
were more attentive than usual. Jesus, I would 
thank Thee for having answered my petition ! I do 



DIARY. 67 

not recollect ever being more free from wandering 
thoughts than on this day. Dr Twining wrote me a 
note to say that as he was not well, he could not 
come to the class, but requested me to attend for him. 
Eead 1 Peter ii., and prayed that God would assist 
me to expound it to the men. I felt very nervous 
about praying before so many, — there being about 
twenty-four present, and several of my brother offi- 
cers. God did assist me, and I was enabled to pray, 
I trust, from my heart. 

" 18^. — Spoke to Jackson, of the Grenadiers. I 
was just kneeling down to pray, when I remembered 
that this was the class day at Dr Twining's ; hurried 
down there, and afterwards N and I talked to- 
gether rather unprofitably, and so the day passed by 
without a prayer since eight o'clock. This has been 
the first day, since I made my rules, that I have for- 
gotten to pray at noon as well as at morning and 
night. Jesus, forgive me ; and grant that as 
this is the first, so it may be the last time that I 
neglect to pray to Thee, the hearer and answerer of 
prayer. 

" 23d. — . . . Lord Jesus, I would give my- 
self up to be led by Thee in all things. Give me 
greater energy and zeal in the performance of my 
temporal duties. Enable me to please my Colonel, 
and yet to please Thee. 

" Sunday, April 24th 7 1853. — Heard a very good 



68 DIARY. 

sermon from l Whosoever shall be ashamed of me 
and my words, of him shall the Son of man be 
ashamed when He shall come in his own glory, and 
in his Father's, and of the holy angels.' Oh, does not 
this but too truly apply to me ? Am I not often afraid 
of confessing Christ before men ? Jesus, make me 
to care less for the opinion of man, and more, far more, 
of what Thou thinkest. Went to hear Mr Maturin 
at St Luke's, — a very good sermon, and enjoyed it. 
Jesus, may the remembrance of my having again 
approached Thy table, and renewed my vows to Thee, 
cause me to live closer to Thee for the rest of my 
life; and do Thou, blessed Spirit, warm this cold 
heart of mine ! " 



CHAPTER V. 



$0JKt, 



u True to the kindred points of heaven and home." 

Wordsivorth. 



The 97th landed in England in the month of May 
1853, and went into barracks at Walmer. Shortly 
after his arrival, Hedley Vicars wrote the following 
letter, which is characteristic of the warmth of his 
gratitude for spiritual benefit : — 



TO DR TWINING. • 

" Walmer Barracks, June 8, 1853. 
" My very deae Dr Twining, — When I wished 
you farewell from the deck of the Simoom, I felt that 
I was parting with my best earthly friend, and 
although homeward bound I never felt more truly 
depressed. And, oh ! what a Sunday, what a con- 
trasts the happy Sabbaths I had passed for the pre- 
vious eighteen months ! I shall never forget it. The 
band on the poop played lively and profane airs as we 
sailed out of the harbour. I might have liked it well 
enough any other day, but then it grated harshly on 
my ear. My thoughts, however, were in the garrison 



72 HOME. 

chapel on shore, and I wished that I were sitting in 
my old seat, listening to the sonnd of your voice 
proclaiming pardon and peace through the blood of 
the cross. 

" Then at the close of the day, instead of our de- 
lightful evening class, which we began by raising our 
voices in praise to our dear Redeemer, loud oaths and 
imprecations fell unceasingly on the ear ,* even in my 
cabin I could not escape the sound of them. This 
was the case every Sunday we were on board, ex- 
cepting that we had a short service in the morning. 
We had some rough weather, but being a good sailor 
I did not mind it. I occupied the same cabin with 
Burton, and we had many serious conversations toge- 
ther on the things belonging to our eternal peace. 
He always knelt down morning and evening in 
prayer to his God, and I had every reason to value 
him as a companion. 

" I think you were guilty of saying that I should 
probably forget you within a month after I left Hali- 
fax. You never were more mistaken, for I can assure 
you I never parted with any man for whom I felt a 
greater regard and esteem than yourself; and I often 
look back with pleasing recollections on the many 
days and months I have passed in your family. I 
cannot express the gratitude I feel towards you as 
being the instrument in God's hand of my conversion. 
May He reward you sevenfold ! Oh, what would I 



HOME. 73 

not give to have met you in my earlier years ; but 
this perhaps is wrong, for everything is ordered 
wisely for us in the counsels of Providence. I do 
not believe there is a man in the regiment who had 
plunged deeper in sin and iniquity than he who now 
writes this against himself. I was in the full career 
of vice when I arrived in Halifax. It was your 
preaching, brought home with saving power to my 
heart by the power of the Holy Spirit, which stopped 
me, and I am, I trust, at length brought out of dark- 
ness to light, and from ignorance of God to a know- 
ledge of his ways. I look upon myself as a monu- 
ment of God's goodness, in that He allowed me 
time for repentance, and gave me an instructor, and 
guide — one who was not afraid to confess Christ 
crucified, and to preach faithfully the great truths of 
the Gospel. I would thank you, my dear Dr Twi- 
ning, from the bottom of my heart, for all the good 
advice and counsel you have ever so kindly given 
me. I can shew my gratitude in one way, and I 
know you will value it : I have not bent my knees 
before the throne of grace for many a month without 
remembering you, nor shall you ever want my poor 
prayers. I trust that you may be made instrumental 
in the conversion of many more souls. Continue, as 
you have hitherto done, to know nothing "but Jesus 
Christ and him crucified, and you must be successful. 
No other preaching will be of any avail, nor afford one 



74 HOME. 

ray of comfort to him who knows himself to be a lost 
and undone sinner. 

" I have not time to write more ; we are now quar- 
tered at Walmer Barracks, but are to move to the 
Tower of London early next week, and then to the 
camp on Cobham Common in July. The Adjutant- 
General at the inspection praised the appearance of 
the regiment very much. 

" Just fancy, I have not yet been able to get leave 
to see my mother, though I have not seen her for 
nearly nine years. Give my love to Mrs Twining. 
I believe every officer in the regiment feels her atten- 
tion and motherly kindness to poor Jones. May God 
bless her for it ! Give my love also to all your family, 
and remember me to my Halifax friends. I enclose 
a note from Corporal Sweeney. 1 am glad to say he 
is getting on very well, also Daim, Ackroyd, Fussell, 
Young, Bills, and Hylyard. May God Almighty 
bless you and all your family for Jesus Christ's sake ! 
— Ever believe me, my dear Dr Twining, yours with 
sincerest esteem and regard, 

u HEDLEY ViCAPvS." 

On the same day he responds to the expression of 
his mother's earnest longing to see his face again, 
after nine years' separation, in these words : — 

" It gives me much pain, my own dearest mother, 



HOME. 75 

to be obliged again to disappoint you, but it cannot 
be helped ; so I beseech yon not to fret yourself on 
my account. Your letters breathe such love and 
anxiety to see me, that I feel half inclined to desert ! 

" I am delighted to hear that your health is good. 
God grant that it may long continue so ! I want to 
know whether you find from experience that your 
love to Christ now is less warm, less palpable to 
yourself than when you were first converted? I feel that 
it is so with me — at least that I have not a crucified 
Saviour ever before me as I once had ; and I do not 
feel so much anxiety as I once did for the souls 
around me. Then, again, at times, I parley with the 
tempter by listening to his suggestions instead of 
casting them from me at the onset. But Jesus died 
FOE ME. I trust, by the grace of God that the devil 
will never be able to induce me to give up this pre- 
cious truth." 

Their happy meeting followed soon afterwards. 
The long-desired leave came at last, and on the even- 
ing of the 15th of June, he arrived unexpectedly at 
home whilst his family were at church attending a 
week-day service. The joy of that meeting was one 
with which a stranger intermeddleth not. 

To the family and friends of Hedley Vicars, the 
year which followed his return home was one of inte- 
rest and happiness of no common k'ind. The heart of 



76 HOME. 

his widowed mother " sang for joy " as she marked 
" the exceeding grace of God in him/' and his sisters 
and brother found him to be at once a cheerful com- 
panion, a faithful friend, and a wise adviser. The 
time of his leave was chiefly spent at Terling Place, 
Essex, the seat of his brother-in-law, Lord Bayleigh, 
whose brotherly kindness and Christian love made 
his house truly a home to Hediey Vicars. 

Here he enjoyed the unreserved interchange of 
warm affection with every member of his family. He 
shared his sisters' pursuits with animated interest. 
They walked and rode together, or he read to them 
from his favourite authors. But their music was his 
chief enjoyment : — 

" When in the all-golden afternoon 
A guest or happy sister sung, 
Or here she brought the harp and flung 
A ballad to the brightening moon. 

Nor less it pleased in livelier mood 

Beyond the bounding hills to stray, 

And break the livelong summer day 
With banquet in the distant wood." 

His sunshiny temper and buoyant spirits made 
him the idol of his sister's children, and endless was 
the number of stories which entranced his young 
auditors in the long summer twilight or by. the 
cheerful winter fireside. Stories improvised for the 
occasion, concerning wandering adventurers in "foreign 



HOME. 77 

parts," or dead heroes of bygone wars — leaders of 
forlorn hopes, who triumphed over unheard-of diffi- 
culties, and died amidst unimaginable successes. 
The very sight of his face seemed a signal for cheer- 
fulness. 

He walked in the glorious liberty of the sons of 
God, and with the free heart of a child enjoyed every 
pleasure in the gift of which he could trace his 
Father's hand ; yet was there still the evidence in his 
daily life of a chastened and sobered spirit, and of his 
steadfast obedience to his Master's word, " Watch 

AND PEAY." 

With the thankful approbation of the Vicar of 
Terling, whose gifted and faithful ministry he greatly 
valued, Hedley Vicars visited the sick and aged poor 
of the village. They all loved him, but with the old 
women he was an especial favourite. His courteous 
manners, worn as much for them, as if each had been 
a Queen-Dowager, won his way to their hearts at 
once, and gained a willing hearing for the message he 
loved to bear. 

" Everywhere he was followed by affection and 
respect," writes one* whose graceful sketch of his 
brief history has already appeared in the pages of a 
religious periodical. " There was no mistaking the 
spirit of the Christian in the manly independence, the 
genuine humility, the open, unselfish heart, and the 

* Rev. T. D. Bernard, Vicar of Terling. 



78 HOME. 

singleness of purpose, which ever seemed to say, l One 
thing have I desired, — one thing I do.'" 

But chiefly did he delight in speaking of the things 
which belonged to their everlasting peace, to those 
who were nearest and dearest to his heart. 

" It was something so very new and precious," said 
the sister who had been the chief friend of his boy- 
hood, and had maintained the most frequent corre- 
spondence with him in his long absence, " to have a 
tender brother who gave one the loving protection of 
a father, and the faithful counsel of a friend." Daily 
did they gather round him for the study of the Word 
of God, and after the nightly farewells to the drawing- 
room circle, he met his mother and sisters again, for 
holy conversation and prayer. 

Precious, indeed, must have been those too fleeting 
hours of unreserved fellowship of hearts, dimly fore- 
shadowing a more lasting and perfect communion yet 
to be. 

That this tender interest in their best welfare was 
sustained in absence, will be seen by his letters writ- 
ten at this period : — 

" TO MISS VICARS. 

" Walmer, July 4, 1853. 
" My dearest Mary,^I received your letter on 
Friday last, and began to answer it yesterday, but 
&Quld not finish it. 0, my beloved sister, how I love 



HOME. 79 

to hear you speak about Christ ; and what comfort, 
what cause for abundant gratitude to our heavenly 
Father, ought each of us to find in the cheering 
belief that we are knit together in the blo,od-bought 
bonds of the Saviour's love ; that our hearts, way- 
ward, changeable, naturally evil, (as they ever will 
be here), have been made the temples of the Holy 
Ghost ; that they have been renewed by his blessed 
influence, and that the work of sanctification is now 
going on within them, making us meet for the in- 
heritance which our dear Eedeemer has purchased 
for us ! 

"lam sure many Christians deprive themselves of 
much real benefit and assistance by withholding com- 
munion with each other. We cannot expect to reach 
perfection in righteousness, dearest Mary ; but, whilst 
humbling ourselves in the dust for our manifold 
iniquities, let us often, by counsel and persuasion, urge 
each other to put on a cheerful courage, and to run 
with patience the race set before us, never forgetting 
to look to Jesus, the Alpha and Omega of our hopes. 

a Oh, that we all felt more delight in speaking of 
the unbounded love of Him who was crucified for 
us ! Let us always endeavour to be looking for the 
coming of Christ Jesus ; and then when He does come 
in the clouds, with the glory and majesty of a 
sovereign, we shall be found amongst them who love 
His appearing. 



80 HOME. 

" my sweet sister, what are we that God should 
single us out from the millions that are still living 
without Him in the world ; that He should cause us 
to believe the precious truths revealed in the Gospel 
of his dear Son, which are foolishness to the natural 
man, but to us (and to all believers) are the wisdom of 
God and the power of God ! Let us pray often for 
each other. The affection that prompts to this is love 
indeed. 

" My love to all. Clara and Edward are at Chob- 
ham, I suppose. Tell Clara, she cannot feel more 
sorry than I am, that I could not get leave, to be able 
to meet her there. Tell Lord Eayleigh, with my 
love, that I sent my groom off this morning at six 
o'clock for the mare, and will write when she comes, 
to let him know how I like her. 

" Ever, my darling little sister, 

" Your most attached brother, 
" Hedley Vicaks." 

Part of the months of July and August were passed 
in camp at Chobham. He thus graphically de- 
scribed its scenes to his youngest sister : — 

u Chobham, August 17. 
"... I think you would laugh if you saw 
me in my bell tent, sitting on a camp-stool, at a box 
with four legs to represent a table. The furniture of 



HOME. 81 

my room consists of* a camp bedstead, portmanteau, 
and tub. 

" I have plenty of straw, but it is rather mouldy. 
My servant endeavoured to get up a small garden in 
front, but I fear the shrubs must have been minus 
roots, for they seem in a very sickly state, as if the 
soil of Chobham did not agree with them ! 

" I spent a very pleasant day on Thursday. Uncle 
Edward* gave me a ticket for the Naval Eeview at 
Spithead. I went, with about two hundred officers 
from the Camp. We had a large steamer to our- 
selves, and consequently were able to see everything. 
It was a very grand and imposing spectacle : but you 
have seen the whole account in the papers, so I will 
not describe it. 

" The Camp is to be broken up next Saturday, 
when we are to proceed to Canterbury. I shall not 
be sorry to be once more settled in quarters, as I find 
it difficult in this place to obtain those seasons of 
retirement for holding communion with my heavenly 
Father, which are so necessary to the keeping alive of 
religion in the soul." 

In the month of August, not without regret, he 
resigned the Adjutancy of his regiment, in conse- 
quence of circumstances which need not be mentioned 
here. His best friends not only fully justified him in 

* Colonel Vicars, R.E., who commanded the Engineers at Chobham. 

F 



82 HOME. 

taking this step, but valued him the more for the 
reasons which led to it. 

In the following letter, he alludes briefly to his 
painful feelings on this occasion : — 

TO HIS MOTHER. 

" August 1854 
" My dearest Mother, — ... I remember well 
the unenviable state of my feelings, whilst stretched 
on the straw, with nothing to disturb me but the 
tramp of the sentry in front of my tent door. I 
fancied myself deserted by every one, even by my 
God. I cannot tell you what I suffered then. At 
last I thought, l Oh, for some Christian friend to con- 
verse with me ! ' Just then I heard a voice saying, 
1 Mr Vicars, are you at home ? ' I jumped up, and 
saw a Mr Eigley, a home missionary, whom I had 
seen in the tent on Sundays. I invited him in, and 
we sat side by side on the straw for more than an 
hour, conversing on those delightful subjects, the 
Sinner's Friend and the Christian's Home. Oh, the 
comfort of meeting with a child of God, when Satan 
has been assaulting you and tempting you to despair ! 
We knelt on the ground, and leaning against the 
tent-pole, prayed together. What a soothing influence 
has prayer over the soul ! But it is the Holy Spirit 
who prompts us ; and to Him be all the glory. 

" A Christian has certainly his moments of bitter- 



HOME. 83 

ness and anguish ; but I would not change even these 
for the world's moments of jollity and mirth. The 
former generally precede happy hours of peace and 
calm ; and the latter, I know, end in trouble and 
remorse. 

a * »fj s re iigi on that can give 

Sweetest pleasures whilst we live ; 
'Tis religion must supply 
Solid comfort when we die.' 

" When on guard I was struck with a proof that 
God is no respecter x)f persons, and has his own 
people in every class. I saw two miserable, wretched- 
looking men, picking up pieces of rag, as I thought, 
in front of the guard tents ; after they had collected 
several, they sat down. I went to them, and found 
they were collecting bits of meat and biscuit, which 
had been thrown away by the men after their dinner, 
and were covered with dirt. These they ate raven- 
ously. I got them some clean meat and a loaf of 
bread, and conversed with them for about ten minutes. 

" They seemed surprised at an officer, in t such fine 
clothes,' talking to them about Christ. One of them 
had been a stoker on a railway, who had been run 
over by a train, which had smashed his foot and 
hand. Yet he could talk with delight of the mercy 
of God his Saviour, and of his goodness and forbear- 
ance. Who knows but that I may meet and recog- 
nise those poor fellows in heaven ? 



84 HOME. 

" We started from camp on Saturday morning at 
five o'clock, and marched to Woking station, distant 
about five miles from Chobham. During a half- 
bom'' s halt on the road, I fell to nutting, as nuts were 
plentiful in the hedges, and back went my thoughts 
to the days of my boyhood. 

" We are now quartered at Canterbury. On Sun- 
day evening I went to Mr Lee Warner's church, and 
heard a beautiful sermon, from ' Enoch walked with 
God, and was not, for God took him.' A brother 
officer of mine told me that he went to a church 
which was decked out just like a Roman Catholic 
chapel, and the minister, in urging the necessity of 
good works, stated that they, and they alone, could 
bring a man peace of mind at the last. The name of 
Jesus was only mentioned once. It is grievous that 
those who preach ' another gospel ' (Gal. i. 8) should 
be permitted to remain in the Church, to misguide 
and deceive. Let us thank God that we have not so 
learned Christ ; and that, instead of trusting to, or 
attaching any degree of merit to our own righteous- 
ness, which is but as filthy rags, we can look to Jesus 
as our wisdom, righteousness, sanctification, and re- 
demption." 

A short leave in September enabled him to spend 
a few days with his mother at Southend. Those 
days were chiefly passed on the water, where he exer- 



HOME. 85 

cised the somewhat renowned prowess of his strong 
arm in rowing, whilst his mother accompanied him 
in the boat, and they took sweet counsel together. 
Well does she love to linger in saddened remem- 
brance over those hours of delight, which can return 
to her on earth no more for ever. 

TO HIS MOTHER. 

" My darling Mother, — I left you yesterday with 
no slight feelings of regret, as you might easily ima- 
gine if you had ever been a son. I agree with Gr., 
that there is but little of ' the real thing ' in the 
world, and therefore a man values a mother s love the 
more. 

" At the railway station, I met two of my brother 
officers returning from leave, to rejoin the regiment. 
We had the carriage to ourselves, and I occupied my- 
self in reading Hugh White's i Sermons on the Second 
Advent.' I hesitated to bring it out for some time, 
lest they should ask me what I was reading, but 
overcame at last this wretched false shame. I sup- 
pose they guessed pretty well what sort of a book I 
had in hand, and so went off to sleep without taking 
the trouble to inquire. 

" Cay came to my room at night, and we had a 
pleasant conversation together. We read Eomans 
viii., and prayed. I felt very happy then, but after 
he left, about eleven o'clock, I fell asleep whilst 



86 HOME. 

praying by myself. I know my Saviour has forgiven 
me ; but I really cannot well forgive myself, and feel 
much pain at the recollection of my slothfulness and 
irreverence. When I awoke this morning I was 
enabled to pray fervently for you, dearest mother, 
and for Clara, Mary, Georgie, and Edward, indivi- 
dually. I know no greater happiness than that 
which earnest prayer brings to the heart, when, un- 
disturbed by wandering thoughts, we can behold our 
crucified Eedeemer, and hear his voice pleading for 
us before the mercy-seat. 

" To-day I called on Captain Ingram, and enjoyed 
a walk with him. He is a truly Christian man. I 
have just been reading Haweis' c Spiritual Companion 
to the Lord's Supper.' I have not partaken of that 
blessed feast since I was at Terling, but trust to do 
so next Sunday, please God. May that holy sacra- 
ment call to my mind in more vivid remembrance 
the great evil of sin ; for never was it seen so forcibly 
as when written in a Saviour's agony and bloody 
sweat, and in his cross and passion." 

TO LADY EAYLEIGH. 

" There is much in the signs of the times to make 
us believe that the Redeemer's advent is near. It 
may be, we shall not taste of death, but be caught up 
to meet the Lord in the air. Beloved sister, let us 
live in hourly expectation of that solemn yet joyful 



HOME. 87 

event. Let us judge of our own state by the happi- 
ness the thought gives us, and not rest satisfied until 
the language of our hearts shall be, ' Even so come, 
Lord Jesus.' 

u I cannot tell you how much happiness I find in 
the society of our dearest mother. I can see her 
ripening for glory, and have already derived much 
benefit from our intercourse and communion. My 
leave lasts till the 31st of December; and I shall 
spend most of the time with her in London." 

LETTER TO CAPTAIN TEOTTEE (LATE 2D LIFE GUAEDS). 

u Canterbury, August 26, 1853. 
" My deae Sie, — Having had the pleasure of 
hearing you address a few Christian soldiers at Chob- 
ham, and knowing that you have the cause of Christ 
at heart, I feel no hesitation in writing to you on the 
subject of the ' Army Prayer Union.' I never, in- 
deed, saw the tract headed with this title until then, 
or I should have sent you my name and address. I 
can only say that I shall be too glad to join in an 
object which, with the blessing of God, must prove so 
conducive to the spread of Christianity in the army, 
and, at the same time, promote the increase of perso- 
nal holiness amongst those who have really come out 
from the world and are enrolled under the banners of 
Christ. There is surely abundant cause for thanks- 



88 HOME. 

giving and praise to Him, the Author of all good, 
that so large a number as 300 should have avowed 
themselves to be praying Christians. Oh.! that He 
' who commanded the light to shine out of darkness, 
and hath shined in our hearts/ would add largely to 
their number, and give to many thousands of soldiers 
who are still living in ignorance of Him ( the light of 
the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus 
Christ!' 

" Until within the last two years I cared not for any 
of these things, but lived as, alas ! too many around 
me are now doing. But the ' blood of Jesus Christ 
cleanseth from all sin;' and, having found mercy of 
the Lord, I would send you my name as one of those 
who, in dependance on the Holy Spirit, will not fail 
to contribute his prayer for the attainment of the seve- 
ral objects which have been suggested, and to which 
every child of God must give his hearty approval. 
And oh ! may our blessed Saviour be present with us 
on these solemn and interesting occasions, and may 
his Holy Spirit be poured abundantly upon all of us, 
that thus our joy and peace may be increased, our 
faith become stronger, and our desires after holiness 
more fervent ! Then we may trust that, through the 
merits and bloodshedding of our precious Redeemer, 
we shall obtain far more than we can either ask or 
think. 

" I would suggest that every member of the happy 



HOME. 89 

' Army Prayer Union' subscribe a small sum each to 
defray the cost of sending circulars to every officer in 
the service, for I have no doubt that there are many 
(as in my own case and that of two of my brother 
officers) who have never heard of it; and I would 
further recommend that we should have a public 
meeting once a-year, in London or elsewhere, to be 
opened and closed with prayer. All those at home 
might thus assemble together, and I think we should 
thereby become acquainted with one another, and 
strengthen that bond of union which we all have as 
members of Christ's body. I would finish this note 
with a prayer to our Heavenly Father, that we, and 
all who profess to be Christians, may have more and 
more of the mind that is in Christ, and, being temples 
of the Holy Ghost, may shew forth the glory of God 
our Saviour in all things. 

" I would remain, my dear Sir, in the best of bonds, 
" Yours, very sincerely, 

" Hedley Vicaes." 



" AEMY PEAYEE UNION, FOE BOTH OFFICEES AND MEN. 

" ' Again I say unto you, That if two of you shall agree on earth as 
touching anything that they shall ask, it shall be done for them of my 
Father which is in heaven.' (Matt, xviii. 19.) 

" ' And this is the confidence that we have in Him, that, if we ask 
anything according to his will, He heareth us.' (1 John v. 14.) 

" You are invited to unite on the first of each month 



90 . HOME. 

specially, and also eveiy Sunday morning, with others 
of the Lord's people formerly in the army, or now 
serving at home and abroad, in either social or private 
prayer, as may be most convenient in each locality. 
The following objects are suggested: — 

" 1. That we may have a deeper sense of our own 
sinfulness, failure, and neglect in watching unto prayer 
for opportunities to serve and glorify our God. 

" 2. That, as children of God, we may increasingly 
manifest our union with Jesus, our risen Lord, by a 
life more simply devoted to His service, a more watch- 
ful, subdued, and prayerful spirit, with greater de- 
light in His word — more oneness with His people 
and love for the souls of others, greater self-denial and 
victory over the world, the flesh, and the devil, and 
that we may energetically seek to honour and use 
the Lord's-day. 

" 3. That, in dependance on the Holy Spirit, more 
energy may be used for the spread of the truth as it 
is in Jesus, in the army, and that God may be pleased 
to bless the efforts already made, to the conversion of 
many, and the strengthening of those converted to 
stand out as good soldiers of Jesus Christ. 

11 4. That our hearts may be raised up in praise 
and thanksgiving to God for His loving-kindness and 
long-suffering towards us, sparing us till now, and 
giving us any desire to use those open doors of ser- 
vice which He still graciously affords us — as well as 



HOME. 91 

for every measure of blessing which has followed the 
means already used. 

" 5. That we fail not to remember the Queen, and 
all those who are in positions of authority and respon- 
sibility, danger or difficulty, as well as all ministers, 
schoolmasters, schools, hospitals, widows, wives, and 
children connected with the service. 
' " Names, 

" 6. That we acknowledge with thankfulness that, 
within two or three months of the issuing of the first 
edition of this paper, a Union for Prayer for the Royal 
Navy, and another for the Corps of lloyal Engineers, 
were circulated in a similar manner to our own. The 
day and hour fixed by the former is every Sunday, 
from seven to eleven A.M., and the latter every 
Monday. Within six months 300 names were re- 
corded on our list. 

" Any suggestions, as well as the names and ad- 
dresses now , and from time to time, of any who wish 
to join in this object, will be thankfully received, 
post-paid, by Captain Trotter, late 2d Life Guards. 
It is intended, occasionally, to communicate by way 
of remembrance with every person who shall give an 
address in the United Kingdom, whence letters can 
be forwarded if they are abroad. 

" Dyrham Park, Bar net, Herts, England, 
June 1851 . 71 



CHAPTER VI. 



" By friendship I suppose you mean the greatest love, and the great- 
est usefulness, and the most open communication, and the noblest suf« 
ferings, and the most exemplary faithfulness, and the severest truth , 
and the heartiest counsel, and the greatest union of minds of which 
brave men and women are capable." 

Jeremy Taylor. 



Hitherto it is from the testimony of others, that this 
imperfect outline has been given of the life and 
character of Hedley Vicars. But now it was to be 
our happy privilege to gather from personal observa- 
tion, and in the enjoyment of no common Christian 
friendship, the blessed proofs of how exceeding abun- 
dant was the grace of Christ towards him. 

In the month of October of the same year, my 
father, my sister, and I were renewing a friendship of 
former days by a visit to Terling-place. A letter 
was received on the morning of the 11th by Lady 
Kayleigh, promising a visit from her brother, which 
caused such a tumult of joyous excitement at the 
breakfast-table, and so much shouting and clapping 
of hands amongst the children, as soon as the news 
was made known to them, that, in my ignorance, I 
supposed the young soldier had only just arrived from 
Nova Scotia. At dinner that day, he was beside me. 
Not knowing anything of his character, I ventured 
rather cautiously at first, on subjects one would fain 



96 FKIENDSHIP. 

have the faithful courage to speak of to every fellow- 
creature. At the first touch of the chord, his pleasant 
countenance lighted up, and his eyes glistened as I 
told him of a remarkable instance of the grace of God 
connected with my father's first sermon. 

On his renewing the conversation in the evening, I 
said, half-inquiringly, " These subjects seem to have 
an interest for you ?" 

" Nothing in the world is worth calling interesting 
by their side," he answered, with a fervour which told 
its own story ; and then gave me an outline of the 
manner in which God had worked the great change in 
his own soul. With forceful simplicity he told the 
point of the story ; how the words, " The blood of 
Jesus Christ his Son cleanseth us from all sin," 
became the sheet-anchor of his soul ; adding, " Thus 
was I born again of the "Word of God, which liveth 
and abideth for ever." 

The next day he walked with my father about the 
gardens ; and it was pleasant to see the affection 
which at once sprung up between the " veteran of the 
cross" and the young soldier of the cross and of his 
country. 

From that visit we date a friendship which cannot 
be replaced on earth, and the prolonged enjoyment of 
which is reserved for heaven. 

Early in November, he spent a few days with us at 
Eeckenham ; and the visit proved to us indeed " a time 



FRIENDSHIP. 97 

of refreshing." On the Sabbath, he taught twice in 
the school, and between the afternoon and evening 
services visited a stranger afflicted with paralysis, 
then lodging in the village ; a man of considerable 
intellectual cultivation, inquiring after truth, but fet- 
tered by a long habit of scepticism. For him the 
singleness, honesty, and fervour of Hedley Vicars 1 
character had a peculiar charm. The few strong, 
earnest words which he said in explanation of a pas- 
sage of Scripture, and the simplicity and reality of 
his prayer, produced an impression which was never 
effaced, and was deepened by every succeeding visit. 

After the school-room service, he addressed and 
prayed with several Railway men, then working at 
the Crystal Palace grounds, who assembled for a 
"cottage reading" every Sunday evening, and con- 
ducted the little service with them on the following 
evening in the servants' hall at the Eectory. The 
next day he went to read and pray with a Roman 
Catholic who was then seriously ill, and saw him 
again, once or oftener, on each succeeding visit to us. 

Not many weeks after the news of Captain Vicars' 
death had spread a general sorrow over Beckenham, 
this man expressed a wish to attend one of the evening 
cottage readings. " I have thought so much of the 
Bible," he said, " since Captain Vicars told me what 
it was to him, and how those words about the blood 
of the Lord Jesus gave him peace." 



98 FRIENDSHIP. 

On the day just referred to, he met at dinner a 
young naval officer, who was then at the outset of his 
Christian course. It seemed to be the easiest thing: 
possible for Hedley Vicars to fall in with the current 
of those first fresh feelings, and to shew where lay the 
rocks and quicksands to be avoided. The union of 
becoming seriousness with perfect ease and simplicity 
in his religious conversation seldom failed to engage 
the interest of those who met him. His genuine 
humility, combined, as it was, with manly frankness 
and a cheerful, spirited address, gave a charm to all 
that he said. 

But the thing which distinguished him from the 
generality even of other Christians, was the close, 
personal, friendlike knowledge he possessed of his 
Saviour. " Some of his expressions, in conversation 
and correspondence," remarked one of his friends, 
"almost startled me into the inquiry, Is it only a 
difference in degree, or wholly a difference in kind, 
from these faint prayers of mine, when he speaks as if 
he had not only spoken to his Saviour, but had been 
answered back again by a living friend? " 

Before his next visit to us, we met him several 
times in London. There we found him teaching in 
Lord Shaftesbury's Ragged Schools, visiting repent- 
ant thieves, and diving into the depths of metropolitan 
wretchedness with city missionaries. Love to the 
crucified Saviour, who had loved him and given Him- 



FRIENDSHIP. 99 

self for him, constrained this young soldier of Christ 
to consecrate every power as a living sacrifice to God. 
The sense of duty, always strong, doubly so in his 
renewed nature, seemed again almost lost in his high 
and deep sense of the privilege of such a service, and 
in a yearning desire to bring others to rejoice with 
himself in a free pardon through the blood of the 
Lamb. 

TO HIS YOUNGEST SISTER. 

" Much do I wish that I had taken more advan- 
tage of our being together to have spoken to you on 
the great subject. What I want is to persuade you 
that there is reality in religion, and that true happi- 
ness is to be found in it, and in it alone. Give 
your heart to Christ, my darling sister, and you 
will never repent your choice. Let us pray ear- 
nestly that we may be delivered from the power of 
sin, that our evil tempers may be mortified and sub- 
dued, and that we may more closely resemble our 
Eedeemer 

" When I left you, or rather you left me, I pro- 
ceeded to search for the London Reformatory for 
Thieves, in Smith Street, Westminster,* and after, 
going through it, I offered to say a few words to the 
inmates about the Saviour of sinners. Just then, 
however, their attendance was required at a public 
meeting, which was opened by Lord Shaftesbury. 



100 FRIENDSHIP. 

Their ' hall ' is but a small one. so not many people 
could be present. The reformed thieves numbered 
about a hundred and twenty. I must say that I felt 
strongly inclined to make a muff of myself when they 
sang the anthem, i I will arise and go to my Father.' 
When they had finished, I was obliged to leave, not 
to lose the train." 

Soon after his second visit to us, I received the 
following letter : — 

" Terling Place, December 1 5. 

"My dear Friend, — In answer to your kind 
and encouraging letter, I cannot begin otherwise than 
by thanking Him ' who order eth all things,' for his 
goodness in having so providentially led me to Ter- 
ling at the time you were there, and thus a friendship 
was formed which, I trust, will last for ever. In 
every blessing I receive, I would raise my heart in 
gratitude and praise to that God who has poured 
such mercies upon me. 

" In this, my first letter to you, I would be candid 
and unreserved. I do not wish to be thought better 
than I am, but rather desire to be looked upon as but 
a young soldier in Christ. When I bring to remem- 
brance the years I have spent in sin, when I gloried 
in being the ringleader in every species of dissipa- 
tion and folly, the thought has struck me that it 



FRIENDSHIP. 101 

were presumptuous in me now to rank myself 
amongst the followers of trie Lamb. But in doing so, 
I would only conceal my unworthiness in the spotless 
robe of my Redeemer's perfect righteousness. 

" Notwithstanding the advantages of Christian 
education and godly parents, the dictates of reason 
and the remorse of conscience, I lived for many years 
in total forgetfulness of a death-bed and a judgment- 
day. But that God, who might so justly have cut 
me off in the full career of rebellion, at length, (and 
oh ! how feebly can I express my sense of his good- 
ness!) opened my eyes; and that stubborn heart, 
which neither the terrors of hell could deter nor the 
wrath of God restrain from recklessly pursuing the 
path of destruction, He softened and changed by 
shewing me the love and tenderness I was despising 
and trampling under foot. I can never forget the 
intensity of my feelings when first I saw my Saviour 
on the cross, nor the flood of joy which burst in upon 
my soul, when I read in his flowing blood full pardon 
for all that was past. 

" Years have gone by since then, but I have been 
preserved by his grace and kept by his power from 
falling away, and thus dishonouring the Christian 
profession. t I need scarcely tell you that I have 
never had cause to repent the transfer of my alle- 
giance from the Destroyer to the Saviour of men. 
Surely, having been forgiven so much, I ought to 



102 FRIENDSHIP. 

love much, and unite with others in making known 
the Eedeemer's love to those who are ignorant and 
out of the way. And what a balm for the weary 
and heavy-laden, what a cure for the guilty, is offered 
alike to all in the Gospel of Christ ! And oh, what 
a glorious truth, when brought home to the anxious 
heart by the Holy Spirit, — what a sweet and pre- 
cious doctrine is there set forth! Full and FREE 
forgiveness, perfect acceptance and assured reconcilia- 
tion with God 5 and this already effected by Divine 
mercy, and sealed with the sufferings and death of 
the Son of God. 

" Mr 's letter delighted me much. I thank 

God for the work which has been so evidently begun 
in Ms heart. (Oh that every soldier and sailor knew 
the love of Christ !) I have already prayed for him. 
more than once, and trust that the oftener I do so 
the more fervent may be my petitions. Such won- 
derful answers as you have had to prayer for the 
souls of others will, I trust, lead me (and you too) 
more frequently to the Throne of Grace, and to rely 
more implicitly upon the promise of Him who 
changeth not. l If any two of you shall agree upon 
earth touching anything that ye shall ask, it shall be 
granted you of my Father which is in heaven.' 

" My leave is rapidly drawing to a close ; on the 
31st I rejoin my regiment. Perhaps we shall not 
meet again for a long time. Be this as it may, I can 



FEIENDSHIP. 103 

never forget my friends at Beckenham, nor the happy 
days 'I have spent with them. 

" I shall have much pleasure in calling on Major 
Halkett, as soon as I am at Canterbury. The manu- 
script account of Dr Eeeve's illness and death, I will 
leave at Miss Leycester's as I pass through London. 
It has deeply interested me. May you have many 
such crowns of rejoicing in the day l when the Lord 
Jesus shall come to make up his jewels.' 

" Give my affectionate and grateful regards to Dr 
Marsh. What a bright and noble specimen is he of 
the Christian soldier — the veteran of the Cross ; and 
what an encouragement is it to those who are only 
1 beginners/ to see such a proof of the reality of reli- 
gion, and its transforming power in the heart and 
life ! Give my Christian love to all, and remember 
me to the sick man whom I went to see. Tell him 
that I pray for him, and trust that his fears and 
doubts may soon be dispelled, and that he may be 
enabled to rejoice in God his Saviour. i Looking 
unto Jesus ' is the secret of peace. 

" In bringing this long letter to a close, might I 
ask you to pray for me? God bless you, and make 
your efforts abundantly successful in bringing sinners 
to a Saviour, shall be the humble prayer of your 
grateful and sincere friend, 

" Hedley Vicaes." 



104 FRIENDSHIP. 

During the illness of my sister, in January 1854, 
we felt the full value of his Christian sympathy. 
Earnestly did he pray for her recovery, and thank- 
fully rejoiced with us in the answer which God gave 
to our prayers. 

Before our anxiety was over, he was seeking 
kindred help from us. A severe attack of illness 
under which his mother was suffering, weighed 
heavily on his heart, though it did not shackle the 
freeness and almost daily communication of his 
Christian sympathies. 

TO HIS MOTHER. 

" Earnestly have I prayed, dearest, best of mothers, 
that as is thy day so may thy strength be. What a 
blessed comfort it is that we have an open Bible 
within reach when struck down by sickness or afflic- 
tion ; for at such dark seasons, if it were not for that 
precious book, we might doubt that i God is love.' 
But surely there is balm for every woe there. l All 
things work together for good to them that love God.' 
1 That which we know not now we shall know here- 
after.' When Job, complaining of his friends' cruelty, 
declared his misery to them, and besought them to 
have pity upon him, for the hand of God had touched 
him, suddenly he finds comfort elsewhere, and in 
joyous triumph exclaims, i Oh that my words were 



FRIENDSHIP. 105 

now written! Oh that they were printed in a 
book, that they were graven with an iron pen in 
the rock for ever — for I know that my Redeemer 
livelhr" 

A letter to his eldest sister, a few days afterwards, 
expressed the overflowings of his thankful heart for 
the mercy of his mother's restoration. Towards its 
close, he thus wrote : — 

" Let us earnestly pray for each other that we may 
have that vitality and love which a seen and accepted 
Christ alone can kindle within our hearts. We must 
watch and pray, lest the things of this world draw 
off our hearts from the one thing needful, and make 
us forget that here we have no continuing city. But 
though we are weak, Christ is strong; and his 
strength is made perfect in our weakness. Let us 
look to our incarnate God, who, for the joy that was 
set before Him, endured the cross and despised the 
shame. 

" Now, to tell you some news of my daily life. 
On Wednesday I drove out with Major Halkett, 4th 
Light Dragoons, to Chilham Castle, and we had 
pleasant religious conversation on our way. The 
castle crowns the hill of the village of Chilham, and 
looks very old. Mr Wildman was not at home, but 
we saw Mrs Wildman. She is a delightful Christian. 



1C6 FRIENDSHIP. 

How invigorating it is to meet with such. She took 
us to see the old church. Some of the epitaphs in 
the churchyard are very absurd. An old lady signi- 
fies to the world that she ' died fully persuaded of the 
many virtues of her dear husband ; ' and others were 
of similar import. The park and the views from it 
are beautiful. We drove back well pleased with our 
visit. 

" On Thursday I was dining with a nice family, 
four miles from Canterbury, and met a large party. 
I noticed opposite to me a very pleasant-looking 
fellow, and was struck with his quiet, calm manner 
and countenance. 

u After we had adjourned to the drawing-room, I 
asked him if he belonged to the Army Prayer-union ? 
and when he said, c Yes,' we became friends at 
once. He said, ' There is a man in the 97th whom I 
want to know ; his name is Vicars.' I replied, l There 
is a man in the Eifle Brigade whom I want to know ; 
it is Captain Hammond.' * We were at each other's 
service ! 

" On Saturday he came to call upon me, and 

* Captain Maximilian Hammond, Eifle Brigade. This brave officer 
and devoted Christian fell in the Redan, whilst " making a pathway 
for his men," in the final assaalt on Sebastopol, September 8, 1855, 
— honoured and beloved by all who knew him. Faithful unto death, 
in the service of the King of kings, as in his duty to his Queen and 
country, he has received, we doubt not, a crown of glory which fadeth 
not away. 



FRIENDSHIP. 107 

stayed for some time. He is a delightful fellow. 
I sent for Cay, and we had a happy time of com- 
munion together. . . . . It is a great blessing 
having such a brother officer as Cay. He is one of a 
thousand. We often walk together, and he generally 
comes up to my barrack-room after mess, and we read 
the Bible, converse about heavenly things, and end 
in prayer." 

" Canterbury ', Monday Morning, 
11 My dear Friend, — As my last hurried note was 
indeed but a poor apology for a letter, I must write a 
few lines to-day. ' They that feared the Lord spake 
often one to another ; ' and what time more fitting and 
appropriate in which to express the thoughts of our 
hearts towards Jesus, than just after the sweet and 
refreshing enjoyment of his day? For when is the 
fragrant dew of his Holy Spirit poured so largely on 
our souls as on those days of * heaven upon earth?' 

" I remember, alas ! too well, the time when I 
dreaded the return of Sunday, and considered it both 
dull and tedious, but now surely no day is so cheering 
and delightful, and there is none that passes away so 
quickly. I recollect, that for several months, the only 
inward sanctifying proof I could, on examination, 
bring to assure myself that I had indeed been made 
an 'heir of Christ,' was this longing desire for the 
Lord's-day. 



108 FRIENDSHIP. 

" You will be surprised to hear that I (a red-hot 
Protestant!) went to the Roman Catholic chapel 
yesterday morning. Yes ! but it was only as Pro- 
testant officer, in charge of the Eoman Catholic 
soldiers. The weather was raw, bleak, and damp, — 
fit emblem of the service, which was formal, dreary, 
and icy cold. I felt very much oppressed, and sick 
at heart, as I thought of the poor misguided, deluded 
men who knelt around; even keeping silence was 
wearisome to me, for I longed to speak to them of 
Jesus, and bid them look to the Lamb of God, the 
Saviour of sinners. I thought to myself, too, while 
listening to a mere moral essay, l And is it to such a 
man you confess your sins, and forget Jesus, the Sin- 
ner's Friend? thus flying to "broken cisterns," when 
the living fountain is ever near.' I returned home, 
feeling quite wretched. It was too late to go to 
church, but I enjoyed a happy season in my barrack- 
room, when I did not forget you and all your friends, 
including the navvies. I went in the afternoon to 
Mr White's church, where I heard an excellent ser- 
mon from the words, 'Put ye on the Lord Jesus 
Christ, and make not provision for the flesh, to fulfil 
the lusts thereof;' and again in the evening, when 
Mr Lee Warner preached most powerfully on the 
text, ' I know that my Redeemer liveth, and that He 
shall stand in the latter day upon the earth, and 
though after my skin, worms destroy this body, yet in 



FRIENDSHIP. 109 

my flesh shall I see God, whom I shall see for myself, 
and mine eyes shall "behold, and not another.' Is it 
not a wonderful prophecy ? and how overflowing with 
comfort and consolation for us ! With such a bright 
vision unfolded to the believer, the i captive exile may 
well hasten to be free.' 

" I met Major Halkett, on coming out of church, and 
we walked home together. I had a very pleasant 
conversation with him. He seems to have the cause 
of Christ at heart, and to be anxious to know more of 
the Saviour, experimentally. He asked me to drink 
tea with him ; and I then saw Mrs Halkett for the 
first time, as she was ill when I called. We spent a 
happy and profitable evening. I like them both very 
much. 

u I had a delightful conversation, a few days ago, 
with a young corporal who left my company a short 
time since. He has been, for nearly three years, a 
consistent follower of Christ, and I am proud to say 
he is still i fighting the good fight of faith.' But we 
must expect to have the hitter as well as the sweet, 
I grieve to say that one, of whom I had great hopes, 
has deserted his colours, and gone back, — poor fellow, 
I deeply pity him ! I trust it may prove a warning 
lesson to me, to watch and pray more constantly and 
fervently, and l take heed ' lest I also fall. But I 
will never give up any man — Jesus did not give me 



110 FRIENDSHIP. 

up — and I hope and look to his being brought back 
to the fold. 

"What you said in your letter about spiritual 
pride, I feel to be very applicable to myself at times ; 
but when I am so inclined to forget who and what I 
am, I endeavour to imagine the sinner standing alone, 
without a Saviour, and without the Holy Ghost ; and 
the miserable wretched thought quickly makes me to 
know and feel my utter vileness and weakness ! 

" Give my Christian love to all ; and i now our 
Lord Jesus Christ Himself, and God, even our Father, 
which hath loved us, and hast given us everlasting 
salvation, and good hope through grace, comfort your 
heart, and stablish you in every good word and 
work. 7 

" Ever your deeply grateful and sincere friend, 

" Hedley Vicars." 

Early in February he received intelligence of the 
alarming illness of his uncle, Colonel Edward Vicars, 
R.E., at Gibraltar. He was on his way out to the 
East, intrusted with an important military command, 
when he was seized with an attack of paralysis, and 
was landed at Gibraltar, in danger of his life. His 
wife was not in health to undertake the voyage thither. 
In this extremity, Hedley, with characteristic unself- 
ishness, at some personal inconvenience, immediately 
accepted the proposition to go in her place, and left 



FRIENDSHIP. Ill 

England within a few hours of obtaining leave from 
his Colonel. 

From himself we should never have learnt how 
much of help and comfort, physically and spiritually, 
he afforded to the suffering invalid ; though in every 
letter he expressed his admiration and respect for the 
heroic fortitude, and patient, i thankful spirit, with 
which Colonel Yicars bore his mortifying disappoint- 
ment and heavy affliction. 

TO HIS MOTHER. 

" Gibraltar, Feb. 11. 

" On board a Coal Hulk. 
" Dearest Mother, — Here I am, thank God, safe 
and sound; but, alas! in Quarantine for seven days. 
I sailed on the afternoon of the 4th, and had a pros- 
perous voyage, and most delightful weather. I was 
in hopes I should have had a cabin to myself, but in 
this I was disappointed, having been doubled up with 
two cadets of the East India Company's Service. At 
first I was strongly inclined to avoid the reproach of 
the Cross, and not to make a mark of myself by 
kneeling down, or reading my Bible in their presence, 
before retiring to rest. But God gave me grace to 
overcome this. Still it shews me what a coward I 
am, that I should, even for an instant, be tempted to 
hide my colours, and ashamed to confess Christ. 



112 FRIENDSHIP. 

" My usual and favourite hour for meditation was 
after all the rest had turned into their berths, when, 
with none on deck but the officer of the watch and 
the steersman, I could walk and think undisturbed. 
We had fine moonlight nights, and the still grandeur 
of the heavens brought the Nineteenth Psalm forcibly 
to my mind. 

" The Indus arrived in the Bay of Gibraltar on 
the evening of the 9th ; and I learnt that England 
was in quarantine with- the Kock, owing to the cho- 
lera; and that I should have seven days to wait 
before I could go on land. This detention is truly 
unfortunate ; I am so impatient to get to my poor 
uncle. But in little things, as well as great, we must 
learn to see the hand of God, and to remember that 
his infinite wisdom orders all" 



CHAPTEE VII. 

Ifrt Mar. 



" Farewell ! I think we shall not meet again 
Till it be in that land where never change 
Is known, and those who love can part no more. 
Commend me to my mother's prayers, and say 
That never man enjoy'd a heavenlier peace 
Than Roderick at this hour. — faithful friends, 
How dear ye are to me, these tears may tell." 

Southey. 



Scaecelt had Hedley Vicars sailed for Gibraltar, 
when the startling order for an army to proceed to the 
East, shook the heart of peaceful England to its 
centre. Partings took place, such as had not been 
known in the land for forty years, and farewell bless- 
ings were given, to extend over fields of bloodshed 
and death. 

" Fray for him " was the watchword from friend to 
friend, as a husband, a son, or a brother, went forth 
to fight the battles of his country. Every sight of the 
Queen's uniform called forth emotions of generous en- 
thusiasm from all conditions of men ; and efforts were 
made by those who felt that higher interests were at 
stake than of this mortal life only, to carry the mes- 
sage of peace to men who were on the eve of being 
engaged in the horrors of war. Every pulse of the 
country beat only for her soldier sons. 

Each time the newspaper was unfolded, the number 
of some fresh regiment, ordered to hold itself in readi- 
ness for active service, or the brief notice of a troop 



116 THE WAR. 

transport having sailed, brought home the trial to the 
hearts of hundreds more. 

At length came the notice of the 97th being under 
orders. The pang with which this announcement was 
read by those to whom the name of Hedley Vicars 
had become so dear, may well be imagined. As his 
friends had been under the impression that he might 
be detained at Gibraltar, until he joined his regiment 
there, on his way to the East, it was an indescribable 
relief to them to find that he was again in England, 
and that they should see his face once more. 

The following letters were written shortly after his 
return : — 

" Windsor, March 15. 

" My very dear Friend, — Thank you very much 
for your valued letter, which affected me not a little. 
"We are, as far as men can judge, on the eve of war ; 
and I shall soon, perhaps, be engaged in all the 
horrors of battle. But even then, believe me, I shall 
ever remember with deepest gratitude the friend who 
has so often cheered and comforted my too cold and 
wavering heart. 

" But there are some things in your letter which 
grieve me. Your heart is sorrowful. I have felt 
more than once that peculiar bitterness which your 
soul has so lately experienced, and I can therefore 
fully sympathise with you. When we have, as we 



THE WAR. 117 

fondly hoped, been blessed by God in bringing a 
fellow-sinner into the fold of Christ, and when that 
often-prayed-for and yearned-over one has given 
many proofs which, both to ourselves and to the world 
in which he moves, appear decisive, it goes to the 
heart's quick to see or hear of such turning his back 
on an ever-loving and long-suflering Saviour, and 
going once more hand in hand with his bitterest 
enemy. It is not so much, perhaps, fear for the 
souls of those poor erring men which causes us that 
sickness and weariness of heart ; for we know that 
when a man sins, t he has an advocate wifh the 
Father, even Jesus Christ the righteous ; ' and do you 
not think that in praying for the backslider, we seem 
to see the day of his repentance near again ? But what 
tongue can tell the injury that is done to the cause of 
Christ ? And this, alas, is irrevocable ! But, dear 
friend, let us not dwell upon this painful subject. 
Each returning day proclaims aloud in our ears, 
' Now is the accepted time ; now is the day of salva- 
tion,' bidding us never to despair, for while there is 
breath there is hope, but rather calling us to lay out 
ourselves afresh and begin the battle again. 

" I feel for you very, very much, and ctill more for 

poor W and H , who have been at length 

overcome by the all-enticing snares of Satan (oh, how 
long he had me completely in his net!). The temp- 
tations in the wild roving life those poor fellows lead, 



118 THE WAR. 

must be strong. But we will unite our prayers for 
their recovery, and hope and believe (as I do still in 
the similar case of two or three of my soldiers) they 
will be attracted again to the cross of Jesus. We may 
conclude that when a soul has indeed tasted of its 
sweet comfort, that the pleasures which once satis- 
fled, lose their charm, and appear but empty shadows, 
and, therefore, that it will find no rest until it return 
to the sinner's refuge. When I hear of and see others 
wandering from the Good Shepherd, I cannot help 
thinking to myself, ( And who art thou, that thou 
shouldst be preserved ? ' Surely there is no safety but 
in Jesus — in clinging to his cross. 

" I followed a poor sergeant to his last home yes- 
terday, and now the mournful notes of the dead march 
proclaim that another soldier is being carried to the 
same resting-place. These sudden deaths are warn- 
ings to be likewise ready. 

" We are still very unsettled — nothing being known 
for certain as to our movements. When it is known 
I will tell you. I have just heard from my beloved 
mother. She tells me she has a letter from you full 
of sympathy and comfort, and that she trusts a friend- 
ship is now established between both families which 
will last for ever. God for ever bless you for com- 
forting her. — Ever your most affectionate friend and 
brother, 

" Hedley Vicaes." 



THE WAR. 119 



" Windsor, March 21. 
" My very dear Friend, — I received your dear, 
welcome letter on Sunday morning when I was on the 
castle guard. I intended answering it last night, but, 
from having been on guard one day and on regimental 
duty the next, I felt rather tired. My heart is warm- 
ed with deepest feelings of gratitude and affection 
towards you, and never imagine that either time, 
or absence, or anything else, will ever cause it to 
diminish : and what a blessing that the anchor of our 
lcve is firmly fixed beneath the cross of Christ, for 
such a friendship is sure and lasting, not merely held 
fast by the ' silver cord' of life, which may be snap- 
ped in a moment, but imbedded in the cleft of the 
rock for ever. God grant, dear friend, your love for 
Christ and devotion to his service may be blessed, 
not only in winning fresh jewels for the Saviour's 
crown, but in imparting stronger faith and more ear- 
nest zeal in the hearts of those who have been al- 
ready visited by the Holy Ghost and melted by the 
Redeemer's i agony and bloody sweat, and by his 
cross and passion.' I can never repay you for that 
onward and steadier progress which I feel that you 
have been instrumental, through the grace of God, in 
imparting to my Christian course. I should find it 
difficult to tell you what solid peace and elevated 
enjoyment I have derived from communion with my 



120 THE WAR. 

best of all earthly friends. May the gladness and 
sunshine of the Saviour's presence ever more and 
more "be inwardly experienced by you in all its glow- 
ing, quickening power and heavenly delight, as a rich 
foretaste of those pleasures l which eye hath not seen 
nor ear heard/ but which God hath prepared for you, 
and, I trust, for me ! 

" At the feet of Jesus I would take up my resting- 
place, and learn of Him who was ' meek and lowly in 
heart.' Oh, how I long to have more, much more, of 
his ever-anxious solicitude and tender concern for 
souls, and something more like his confidence and 
love towards a heavenly Father ! I see many short- 
comings in myself and much remaining worldliness 
and vanity ; but, 

" ' Grace, 'tis a charming sound/ 

1 for all have sinned and come short of the glory of 
God ; ' but notwithstanding, c the righteousness of 
God, by faith of Jesus Christ, is unto all and upon all 
them that believe, for there is no difference. ' l Thus 
the righteousness of God without the law is mani- 
fested,' since we are i justified freely by his grace, 
through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus.' It 
is to this glorious truth I would ever cling in life or 
in death, for I have thus ' boldness to enter into the 
holiest by the blood of Jesus.' This same Saviour 
1 appears now in the presence of God for us,' where 



THE WAR. 121 

1 He ever liveth to make intercession for us.' Would 
that all we love were safely sheltered beneath the 
cross ! My heart aches when I look around upon 
most of those whose lot has been cast, like my own, 
in the army ; for, notwithstanding the war which is so 
close at hand, and in which we shall in all probabi- 
lity be engaged, how little change is visible in their 
walk and conversation! But in two cases I have 

great hopes — Capt. and one of our young 

Ensigns — in whose hearts I think the love of Christ 
finds a response. May they have strength to perse- 
vere unto the end ! 

" Do not make yourself uneasy about the Simoom. 
I came in her from Halifax, and can answer for her 
tortoise-like sailing qualities ! I do not think we are 
to go to Constantinople, but are to co-operate with 
the Baltic fleet. If so, I fear I shall never have an 
opportunity of meeting Captain Astley. Give my 
love to all. God bless and keep you, my dear friend. 
— Ever your most affectionate friend and brother, 

" Hedley Vicars." 

to lady rayletgh. 

" Windsor , March 1854. 
" Ever dearest Clara, — Many thanks for your 
dear, interesting letter. How much I should have 
liked being present at the Meeting, and to have made 



122 THE WAB. 

acquaintance with Mr Dallas. The Irish Church 
Missions Society ranks in my mind above any other. 
God grant it success ! I remember it in my prayers 
every Saturday morning. May a great blessing at- 
tend the efforts which are being made to bring the 
poor benighted people of Ireland from the soul-de- 
stroying errors of Popery to the simple ' truth as it is 
in Jesus ! ' How plain and easy to be understood is 
the plan of salvation : l Believe on the Lord Jesus 
Christ and thou shalt be saved.' Jesus Christ is the 
sinner's prophet, priest, and king, and, thank God, we 
want no other. I am glad to say the Protestant 
Reformation Meeting is to come off here next Wed- 
nesday. There has been some difficulty about it, and 
I am quite rejoiced that it has been decided upon at 
last. But, dearest Clara, whilst I am so opposed to 
Popery (seeing, as I do, the working of the system 
in the army), I bear no ill will to Romanists them- 
selves. I should not be a Christian if I did, and I 
hope that I have no mere party feelings in this mat- 
ter, but rather that I am led to think as I do from the 

plain teaching of the Word of God Events 

certainly are hastening rapidly, and the coming of the 
Son of man may be sooner than any of us expect it. 
Well, dearest sister, whatever may turn up, I think 
we can say nothing can hint us. When I look within 
for proofs of my election and sanctification, I some- 
times tremble- but the instant I lift up my eyes to 



THE WAK. 123 

Him whom God has given to be our righteousness, 
then my unbelieving fears vanish to the winds. Oh, 
that we could ever keep Jesus in our hearts and 
never let him go ! " 

In a letter of the same date to his youngest sister, 
the following remarkable passage occurs : — 

" Be assured you will feel far happier in this world 
even, by making religion your chief business and 
study, than by all the pleasures and gaieties which 
your young heart may now probably be longing 
after. I tell you candidly and seriously that I would 
willingly part with every earthly pleasure for life, for 
one hour's communion with Jesus every day." 

On the 29th of March he came from Windsor to 
meet us in London and return with us to Beckenham. 
On the evening of his arrival, he addressed upwards 
of a hundred navvies, besides several of the young 
men of the village, at the reading-rooms. They were 
crowded to excess, and many more men surrounded 
the doors. He chose for his subject, " Prepare to meet 
thy God : " and no man on a dying bed could have 
spoken with greater solemnity and earnestness. Yet 
there he stood — a strong young man amidst strong 
young men, "putting himself alongside of us as a 



124 THE WAR. 

fellow-sinner/' as one of them remarked, "and yet so 
good now, and such a man withal ! " 

One after another they crowded round him for a 
shake of his hand, and to wish him safety and success. 
We heard them saying amongst themselves, " It's a 
pity such a fine fellow as that should go to be shot ; " 
and several of them met at the further end of the 
village to make an agreement to pray for him regu- 
larly. With two of them the next morning he had 
private conversation and prayer, at their own request. 

On his way to the station, he visited a dying navvy 
at Sydenham, with whom he prayed. The man said, 
u He never heard such a prayer ; it went straight to 
his heart." 

Whilst waiting for the train, he spoke of " the 
comfort of love between Christian friends," and then 
added, in a low under-tone, yet slightly hurried, " I 
have one last favour to ask of you. When I am 
shot, write to my mother ; see her when you can ; 
comfort her as God will teach you." 

As soon as I could make any reply, I gave him the 
promise he required ; but added that it seemed to me 
that so much prayer was made for him, we ought to 
believe that a special Providence would be extended 
over him. 

He said he did not doubt it. Still his impression 
was that he should not return. It did not depress 
him, only gave him a more solemn trust in God, that 



THE WAE. 125 

He would make the name of the Lord Jesus Christ 
glorified in him whether by life or by death. 

As his regiment was under orders to hold itself in 
readiness for embarkation at a day's notice, we all 
thought at the time that this would be his last visit to 
Beckenham, and " sorrowed most of all for the words 
which he spake, that we should see his face no 



" March 31. 
"... I have left the quiet peace and heavenly 
calm of blessed Beckenham, soon, perhaps, to enter 
upon scenes of angry warfare and strife : but be 
assured, dearest friends, that you will ever live in my 
memory, my thoughts, and my prayers ; and should 
it be G od's will that we should not see each other here 
again, we will not sorrow, ' even as others which have 
no hope, for if we believe ' (thank God ! we do) l that 
Jesus died and rose again, even so them also that 
sleep in Jesus will God bring with Him.' Death to 
the believer is, after all, but an incident in immortality, 
for Christ says, l He that believeth on me hath ever- 
lasting life.' How earnestly I thank my heavenly 
Father for having led me betimes to prepare for that 
certain eternity beyond the grave ! A soldier needs to 
have Christ in his heart before the hour of battle, 
although we may hope and believe that to many (like 
the dying thief) the Sun of Kighteousness may arise 



126 THE WAR. 

'with healing in his wings/ even after the swift 
bullet has brought the awful message, ' Behold, 
this night (or this hour) thy soul shall be required 
of thee.' 

" I had such a heavenly joy yesterday and to-day, 
in conversing with a young bandsman, and a corporal 
whom I sent for, to my room. I was much struck by 
an observation from the latter (who, for a time, had 
fallen away, but is now ' all right,') i I want more of 
Jesus in this life, Sir, so that when I die I may not 
be admitted into heaven as a stranger, but be received 
like a long-lost child would be at his own home.' 
Surely the Spirit of God is at work in his soul. 

" These two men began their Christian course at the 
same time as myself. I experience fresh delight every 
time I speak with them of the love of God, of the 
peace and joy there is in believing. Alas ! we under- 
stand each other too, when we speak of our weak- 
ness, our deadness at times to spiritual perceptions, 
our cares, and our temptations. 

" The Testaments for the men arrived safely. Poor 
fellows ! they were so delighted to get them. I am 
sure if they knew to whom they were indebted for 
them, they would desire me to send you their hearty 
thanks. I greatly like the little ' Soldier's Prayer.' 
Short, strong, and easy to be understood, it compre- 
hends all that will fit us for heaven. Being a soldier, 
I take the liberty of using it myself. God grant they 



THE WAR. 127 

may all offer it from the ground of the heart. I have 
often heard it said, i The worse the man, the better the 
soldier!' Facts contradict this untruth. Were I 
ever, as leader of a forlorn hope, allowed to select my 
men, it would be most certainly from among the 
soldiers of Christ, for who should fight so fearlessly 
and bravely as those to whom death presents no after 
terrors ? . . . I was surprised to hear of the death 
of that poor navvy whom we visited ; but I will cling 
with you to the hope that he died a i pardoned sin- 
ner.' He loved prayer ; this was not a natural desire, 
but implanted in his Tieart by God the Holy Spirit ; 
and we may , rest in a good hope that He who i des- 
piseth not the sighing of a contrite heart,' has been 
very merciful to him, and that he has gone to swell 
the number of the ransomed throng • and we shall meet 
again ! The days of our appointed time will ere long 
have run out, and then our change comes. In that, 
our hour of need, when the heart shall prompt the 
rising prayer, i Forsake me not when my strength 
faileth,' then shall the words of Jesus comfort our 
departing souls, 1 1 will never leave thee, nor forsake 
thee.' A near view of Jesus, with those words ring- 
ing in our ears, is all we shall want then, 

" ' In thy presence I am happy, 
In thy presence I 'm secure ; 
In thy presence all affliction 
I can easily endure. 



128 THE WAR. 

" ' In thy presence I can conquer, 
I can suffer, I can die. 
Far from Thee I faint and perish ; 
my Saviour, keep me nigh ! ' 

" The little book of Psalms you gave me, I take 
with me whenever I go out to walk. I have just 
learned by heart Psalm xci., and it has filled me with 
confidence in Jesus. 

u Remember me most kindly to Gregory, Wood, 
Wakefield, and Dibley, and all my friends among 
the navvies. May the Lord give them grace to fol- 
low after the things that make for their peace, and 
to ' fear not the reproach of men, neither to be afraid 
of their revilings.' I remember them all in my 
prayers. Oh, may they all hold on to the end ! * 
Do tell them that I value their prayers more than I 
can express, and give them my best wishes for their 
interests, both temporal and spiritual. I shall pro- 
bably see them no more on earth, as we are daily 
expecting our final orders." 

But these final orders were not given until seven 
weeks later, weeks of no common value to those who 
loved him. 

During this period, an interest and a hope which, 

* Thomas Dibley, navvy, late of the Army Works' Corps, died of 
cholera in the Crimea, August 28, 1855. By the grace of God he did 
" hold on to the end." 



THE WAR. 129 

for some time past, he had felt it to be his duty to 
repress, revived with an earnestness and brightness 
which cast a new colouring over his views of an 
earthly future, and in a measure effaced the impres- 
sion that he should not live to return home. Precious 
as his life had ever been to others, it now became 
of double value, for it belonged, not to his friends 
alone, — not to his mother and his family alone, — but 
to one whose early affection was entirely his, and 
whose spirit was of kindred quality. 

The hope of returning to claim her as his own 
for ever, was very near his heart, and throughout 
the long months of his last miserable winter before 
Sebastopol, had no unimportant influence in keeping 
his spirit bright and strong. His earthly love was 
not the less deep and fervent, because it was sub- 
ordinate to a love yet higher. 

As he was quartered, in the months of April and 
May, at Kensington Barracks, he was able to attend 
several of the Meetings held by the religious Societies 
in Exeter Hall. His heart was world-wide, and, as 
a necessary consequence, it was his earnest desire 
that the religion which had so expanded his natural 
powers of loving, and which was the spring of his 
own joy, should be spread over the earth, by means 
of Bible and Missionary Associations. To his social 
nature, also, the meeting with many Christian 
brothers was a peculiar joy; and at this time he 

I 



130 THE WAE. 

formed several strong personal friendships, which did 
not cease when he left the country. 

That he won no common love from those who 
knew him, even slightly, may be gathered from the 
fact that he was prayed for, by name, at nine weekly 
prayer-meetings for the army, in England and Scot- 
land, from the day of their commencement to the day 
of his death. 

TO HIS YOUNGEST SISTEE. 

u I trust you had a happy Easter Sunday. It is 
the c day of days,' on which, above all others, we 
should rejoice and be glad. On this day the Lord 
of Glory rose from the grave, — He who was crowned 
with thorns, and nailed to the fearful cross, — Jesus, 
the suffering, dying Lamb of God. His agonies 
are ended, — He is risen, He is risen! Think not 
then of your past sins, except that you may love 
Christ more for having forgiven you so much. They 
are all buried in His sepulchre ; that streaming blood 
proclaims your soul's redemption. 

" ' The happy morn is come, 

Triumphant o'er the grave ; 
The Saviour leaves the tomb, 
Omnipotent to save. 

" ' Christ has the ransom paid ; 
The glorious work is done ; 
On Him our help is laid, 
By Him our victory won. 



THE WAR. 131 

" ' Wbo now accuses them 

For whom their Surety died? 
Who now shall those condemn 
Whom God hath justified ? ' 

" Believe in this power of Jesus to save and help 
you. Dwell much in your thoughts upon His cha- 
racter. You must seek for Him as for hid treasure, 
and remember His words, ' Those that seek me early 
shall find me.' 

" 1 want you, my darling Georgie, to give up 
your heart entirely to Christ Jesus your Eedeemer. 
His love is beyond the power of words to express, 
and he is willing to pardon abundantly. We need, 
indeed, many gifts and graces before we shall be 
perfect in Christ Jesus, but, as St Paul says, i My 
God shall supply all your need, according to his 
riches in glory by Christ Jesus.' It is of no use to 
complain of our wants, unless we go to have them 
supplied, and we should not only pray to be delivered 
from the temporal and eternal consequences of sin. 
but for power to burst asunder each remaining link oi 
its fetters ; for strength to fight against pride, vanity, 
anger, self-righteousness, and everything which we 
know to be contrary to the will of our blessed Ee- 
deemer ; and, dearest sister ! may we both grow 
daily in love and joy and peace, in tenderness of con- 
science and purity of heart." 



132 TEE WAK. 



TO MES OVENS. 



" My very deae Friend, — God Mess you for that 
kind and cheering letter, and also for your prayers, 
which I value more than I can express. As but a 
poor return, whilst I live, you shall have mine. 
May your heart, dear friend, be ever warmed and 
gladdened by the bright sunshine of a Saviour's pre- 
sence. You ■ know (and every believer in Christ can 
testify to it) that there is no delight in this world 
equal to that which is felt when the Saviour is near. 
Surely we have both great cause to 

" ' Praise God, from whom all blessings flow/ 

for his distinguishing love and mercy in singling us 
out, and condescending to dwell in our hearts, whilst 
so many who are no greater sinners than we are i are 
living without God in the world.' 

" ' Grace, 'tis a charming sound. 
Harmonious to the ear.' 

" God grant that both our hearts may be filled 
with Christ, and whilst i with open face beholding as 
in a glass the glory of the Lord,' may we i be 
changed into the same image from glory to glory, 
even as by the Spirit of the Lord.' ' Looking unto 
Jesus ' is, after all, the grand secret for keeping alive 



THE WAR. 133 

a love for holiness in the heart, and a longing for a 
more constant and close communion with our Heavenly- 
Father. 

u I returned from a short visit to Dr Marsh last 
Thursday ; truly that place is i a little heaven below.' 
I enjoyed the short time I spent there very much, and 
was greatly refreshed by the many proofs I observed 
of real conversion to God from among the poor navvies 
employed in the Crystal Palace. What encourage- 
ment for us, dear friend, to be also zealous and active 
in the cause of our blessed Redeemer ! One of the 
army missionaries employed by the ' Soldiers' Friend 
Society,' called upon me last Monday with several 
Testaments (the men cannot take Bibles in their 
knapsacks) for the soldiers of the 97th Regiment. 
Would you mind asking your husband to make it 
known among his Christian friends that there is such 
a Society ? The men are very grateful for the great 
interest which is being taken in their eternal welfare. 
Who can say but that many a poor fellow, even after 
the whistling bullet has brought the summons, ( Pre- 
pare to meet thy God,' may be brought to ' look unto 
Jesus,' and thus be saved by a message of peace 
given him through those Testaments ? There is yet 
nothing known positively about the movements of my 
regiment, but it is said that we are soon to move to 
the Tower prior to our departure for the seat of war. 
I was much cheered the day before yesterday by a 



134 THE WAR. 

conversation which I had with two soldiers of the 
97th, who began to follow the Lord Jesus about the 
same time as I did ; they are both, thank God, walk- 
ing in his ways, and, like good soldiers of Christ, are 
righting the Lord's battles against all Ms foes. I 
trust, dear friend, that when I return (if I ever do 
return), I may have an opportunity of paying you a 
visit. I am sure nothing would give me greater plea- 
sure. Eemember me most kindly to your husband, 
and believe me ever 

" Your grateful and sincere friend, 

" Hedley Vicars." 



One day, when we were in London, I happened to 
meet him, when on my way to an hospital to see a sick 
navvy, whom I had known in Beckenham. He re- 
quested permission to go also. I hesitated, on finding 
that there were fever cases in the ward for which I 
was bound ; he was amused at my fears for him, say- 
ing, that in old times he had spent many hours of the 
day by the side of yellow fever patients, at their quar- 
ters in the West Indies, reading novels to them ; 
" So now, you need not fear for me if I read the Eible 
to your mild fever cases in England ! " 

From that time, he regularly visited that poor man 
twice a-week ; although the hospital was six miles 



THE WAR. 135 

distant from Kensington Barracks ; and even in the 
hurry of his last day in England, found time to bid 
him farewell. 

During each of his succeeding visits to Beckenham, 
he addressed the poor in one cottage or another, in 
different parts of the village. At a carpenter's cot- 
tage, in an adjoining hamlet, where he spoke with re- 
ference to the fast for the army, which had been kept 
throughout the country the day before, he was con- 
stantly prayed for, from that time until its owners 
heard of his death. 

A large number of young men, chiefly navvies, 
were present that evening, and, at our request, he told 
them the story of his conversion. To illustrate the 
recklessness of his life before that great change took 
place, he mentioned, amongst other acts of useless and 
even sinful daring, that when he was in the West 
Indies, at the time the cholera was raging, he and one 
brother officer determined to punish another for being 
afraid of it. 

u Let us put him into a coffin ! " said Iledley. No 
sooner spoken than acted upon. A row of coffins 
stood at the hospital door. Undeterred from their 
reckless purpose, by finding one after another jelled 
by a silent occupant, they at last succeeded in their 
object. 

The companion of Hedley Vicars in this sinful 
practical joke was seized with cholera shortly after- 



136 THE WAR. 

wards ; but by God's forbearing ruercy, he was spared 
for better tilings. 

At the close of bis address, be turned round, and 
said to me, with characteristic frank simplicity, "lam 
sorry you asked me to speak of myself ; one is afraid 
of being proud even in speaking of one's sins ! " 

The folio wing letter is in allusion to this : — 

" Dearest Friend, — I cannot tell you bow lonely 
I always feel when, after having enjoyed your society 
(even if only for a few hours) I have once more re- 
turned to the routine of a soldier's life. But do not 
suppose, because I say this, or from anything I have 
lately said, that I am beginning to ' shew the white 
feather,' and that, finding a soldier's cross too irksome, 
I would change it for one less weighty. Never ! The 
Lord God has called me to eternal life in the army, 
and as a soldier I will die. Had I loved Jesus when 
I was seventeen, or rather had the love of Jesus been 
then made known to my soul, I certainly should not 
have been a soldier ; but as it is, death alone shall 
ever make me leave my colours. Did our God and 
King, Jesus himself, the l great Captain of our salva- 
tion,' spare no toil, fatigue, anguish, or bodily suffer- 
ing even unto death, to obtain forgiveness of our sins ? 
And shall not we, towards whom this infinite love 
and compassion have been shewn, be constrained to 



THE Y/AK. 137 

do something for Jesus in return, nor care if our path 
of duty should prove a rough and thorny one ; for he 
cleared a way through the briars first, and we but 
follow in the Saviour's footsteps ? 

" I confess that at times Satan has puffed me up, 
and made me think more highly of myself than I 
ought to think ; but I hate and detest this sin, and for 
many months I think the Lord has given me grace to 
fight against it effectually. But I must be watchful. 
How pleasant, is it not, after having been engaged at 
the work of heart-examination, to pause and behold 
the Lamb of Grod ? I thank Grod that I can trace so 
distinctly His finger in my soul's conversion, and 
that it has been begun and is carried on entirely by 
Him alone. l By grace are ye saved, through faith, 
and that not of yourselves ; it is the gift of Grod, not 
of works, lest any man should boast.' i Worthy is 
the Lamb that was slain, to receive power, and 
riches, and wisdom, and strength, and honour, and 
glory, and blessing ! ' 

u In reading again the account of our Saviour's 
resurrection, I could not help pausing to meditate on 
those blessed words, 1 1 ascend to my Father and 
your Father.' Is it not delightful when we can (even 
only for a while) fully realise that we are thus closely 
united to God through Jesus Christ ; and is it not a 
wonderful thought, in grandeur far exceeding the 
highest conception of the human mind, that we 7 al- 



138 THE WAR. 

though mere creatures of the clay, are yet immortal, 
God-related beings, elected, destined to enjoy a glo- 
rious, never-ending eternity with Jehovah Jesus, our 
Father and Elder Brother ? Then shall these dark 
tombs of hearts be made so pure and white that even 
the breath of sin can never come near to defile them ; 
and now we see through a glass darkly, then shall we 
1 know even as we are known/ 

" I often grieve when at night I look back on the 
many precious hours of the day lost, given me for the 
purpose of making a closer acquaintance with Jesus ; 
and I suppose the greater happiness we find in Him 
here, the greater will be our enjoyment of Him here- 
after. It is only adding sorrow to grief to know as 
we do that Christ yearns for our love, and that it 
pains His human nature when forgotten by us, for 
whom He has done such great things ; but I do desire 
to be always in Christ, and He in me ; and I think 
in His mercy God is leading my heart to seek more 
earnestly ' the unsearchable riches of Christ ; ' and 
yet there is still the remains of the old leaven work- 
ing in my heart, and it is only the grace of God that 
restrains me. But how comforting the assurance that 
He will carry on His l labour of love ' in our souls, 
that He does not leave the issue in the least doubt- 
ful ; for His having come to us and made His abode 
with us, filling our hearts with peace and joy in believ- 
ing, and causing them to ' abound with hope through 



THE WAR. 139 

the power of the Holy Ghost/ is a proof that we 
shall persevere unto the end, and leads us to believe 
that (notwithstanding our frail natures) we shall never 
perish, but, being sealed with the c Spirit of promise/ 
be kept through faith unto salvation, and preserved 
blameless unto the coming of our Lord Jesus 
Christ. 

" I must not forget, dearest friend, to explain what 
I meant when I said that l a sort of pride is apt to 
rise up in speaking even of our sins.' It is a fact, 
that when I have spoken of my life (at least, the 
greater part of it) to those who were then living in 
the indulgence of these very sins (once the inmates of 
my heart, I have had such thoughts as these put into 
my mind (and it has more than once made me doubt 
my sincerity in referring to myself) : — i Oh, yes, if 
you let them know that you were once like them- 
selves, they will think the better of you for having 
led what they would call a bold, fearless, dashing 
life ; they will admire your excessive humility, think 
you an extraordinary character!' and so on. It is 
positively sickening to know that I have ever been 
guilty of such vile thoughts. But there is, thank 
God ! a fountain ever open in which to wash and be 
clean. 

" ' When I survey the wondrous cross 

On which the Prince of Glory died, 
My richest gain I count but loss, 

And pour contempt on all ray pride.' 



140 THE WAK. 

" It should ever be deeply humbling to the be- 
liever to make known a career of sin, although past, 
gone, and washed out for ever in the blood of the 
Lamb." 

" Kensington, May 3, 1854. 

" I am going to Richmond to see my dear uncle this 
morning, so I have only just time to write a few lines. 
I have made it a rule never to read any letters before 
prayer, and until I have read and meditated on my 
morning portion of God's Yv r ord ; but I was strongly- 
tempted to break my resolution when your letter was 
put into my hand this morning, and I can assure you 
it required no small self-denial and stern resistance 
to wishes to put it aside till I had offered up my 
early sacrifice of prayer and thanksgiving. To tell 
you the truth, your letters have often made me break 
through this very rule, although I shall not, I hope, 
do so again, for I never enjoy any day that has not 
been commenced alone with God. I went to see your 
navvy at the hospital on Saturday afternoon, before I 
received your letter. I read a chapter, and had a 
pleasant chat with him for more than half an hour. 
He is, I think, rather weaker and thinner than when 
you saw him, but I believe his soul is prospering, 
thank God! He spoke most gratefully of you. I 
shall go and see him again soon. 

" I also had a long conversation with another poor 



THE WAR. 141 

fellow. I found that lie had been a boatswain in 
the navy for many years. He thanked me most 
heartily for having spoken to him as I wished him 
good-bye. 

u I had intended talking to some of the other men, 
but an old woman came up in a threatening attitude, 
and told me * time was up ; ' so I was obliged to 
retire. 

" I have just returned from Simms's, where I had 
my likeness taken. I think there are two for you to 
choose from, both as plain as life. I brought my 
great Halifax Bible to have its portrait taken, as you 
desired. 

" Dr Cay came to my room again yesterday, and 
we read together 2 Cor. v. I find it a great comfort 
to see and talk with such a dear child of God ; and 
yet Jesus has often been more precious when, for days 
and weeks, I have not had one to speak to who could 
feel with me on the subject of religion, than when I 
have been thus blessed." 

On the 6th of May he went down to Terling, to 
stand godfather to his sister's infant son. The im- 
pression left on the minds of all his family by this 
visit, which lie knew to be his last before leaving 
England, was that of increased earnestness, amount- 
ing to solemnity. Twice, at Lord Eayleigh's request, 
he led the devotions at family prayers ; and those 



142 THE WAP.. 

who heard him ; bore away a conviction of his meet- 
ness for that state of which he spoke with holy long- 
ing — " absent from the body, present with the Lord." 
His subject on the first day was 2 Cor. v. ; on the last, 
Kev. xxii. 

With his mother and sisters he held unreserved 
communion on the things which belonged to their 
peace. His second sister remembers that, when 
pressing the duty of reading the Word of God with 
prayer before the work of the day began, he men- 
tioned that, whilst visiting his valued friends Mr and 
Mrs Bound, of Birch Hall, Essex, he had slept one 
morning later than usual, and had gone down to 
family prayers without having had time for his pri- 
vate devotions. " My soul was the worse for it," he 
said, " for nearly three weeks afterwards." 

Affectionate as he had ever been, there was, during 
this last visit, a depth of quiet tenderness about him 
which, they now feel, was a mute prophecy that this 
was his last welcome home. 

Very early in the morning of the day he left for 
London, he and his mother met for prayer. He knelt 
long by her side, pouring out his heart in pleading 
with God for her, that grace and strength might be 
given for every hour of need. Strengthened in spirit 
by that prayer, she was able, with his sisters, to ac- 
company him as far as the station. The remembrance 
of his last embrace, his last look ; his last blessing, 



THE WAR. 143 

enriches their hearts still, and makes the place of their 
parting seem almost holy ground. 

A few days before the Light Company of the 97th 
left Kensington Barracks for their embarkation, I had 
an opportunity of conversing with some of the men. 
They spoke with great respect and affection of their 
favourite officer. One of them, named Reynolds, said, 
" Since Mr Vicars became so good, he has steadied 
about four hundred men in the regiment." 

" Four hundred !" was repeated with surprise. 

"I don't mean that he has made all the four hundred 
as good as himself. That he couldn't. I know enough 
of religion to know that God alone could do that. 
But while he was Adjutant — and since, too — he has 
sobered and steadied nigh four hundred of the drunk- 
enmost and wildest men in the regiment. There isn't 
a better officer nor a better man in the Queen's 



Within a few days of the departure of the 97th, he 
received an earnest request from those Crystal Palace 
workmen whom he had addressed at Beckenham from 
time to time, that he would give them a few farewell 
words. We were all absent from home at the time, 
but a variety of details of the evening reached us in 
the graphic letters of these poor fellows. One of those 
letters will suffice here : — 



144 THE WAE. 



JDeptford, May 11, 1854. 
"Deae Lady, — Last night I went to hear that 
blessed soldier and minister of Christ, Mr Vicars, 
addressing the people of Beckenham, and I believe 
he was much admired by all his hearers; for my 
part, I never heard a man speak more like a humble, 
true follower of Christ than he did. But surely (as 
the words he dwelt much upon say) the love of Christ 
constraineth him. Oh, that all our soldiers and sailors 
were as he is ! Then our land would bring forth her 
increase, and God, even our own God, would give us 
his blessing ; and God would go before us and fight 
our battles. But, alas ! alas ! we follow too much our 
own ways, and do things we ought not, and leave 
undone what we should do. Sometimes I think 
myself that I will try hard to live nearer to God, 
but perhaps before an hour is gone over, wicked 
thoughts cross my mind, and thus I sin against God. 
I feel my desires for good were strengthened last 
night, and I am right glad I went. I had a great 
desire to speak to him afterward, but there was so 
many people round him, and I thought he had 
stopped as long as he could convenient. I ran all 
the way after the carriage. My hope was to see him 
at the station, but I was not in time to see which 
carriage he got into in the dark; so I did not see 
him ; but I pray God he may ever be kept in Christ, 



THE WAR. 145 

and, if it be God's will, return to his native land 
from this dreadful war in peace. If I knew where 
to find him at Kensington, I would go up to see 
him again. 

" From your humble, grateful servant, and son in 
Jesus Christ, 

"William Gregory." 

Hedley Vicars himself wrote of this evening's 
work to his sister : — 

TO MISS VICARS. 

"Kensington, Monday. 

"Ever dearest Mary, — Although I am much 
engaged in various ways, I must find time to write 
a few lines to you. I must begin by giving you an 
account of my visit to Beckenham. I had a most 
happy meeting there last Wednesday. As the Rec- 
tory was deserted, being under repair, Mrs Miller 
kindly asked me to have tea at her house. She used 
to know dearest mother and Uncle Edward very 
well. 

" At eight o'clock I started for the Reading-rooms, 
and found them filled. We began by singing that 
beautiful hymn, i When I survey the wondrous cross,' 
and then I spoke to them, as well as I could, on 
those solemn words, c We must all appear before the 
judgment-seat of Christ/ and L The love of Christ 

K 



146 THE WAR. 

eonstrainetli us.' God enable me to speak very 
freely — more so than I ever remember before— and 
my heart was much drawn out in love for their souls. 
I spoke for nearly an hour, and then prayed with 
them. They appeared to take a deep interest in 
what was said, and they took a most affectionate 
farewell of me. 

" I went on Thursday evening to a meeting of the 
Bagged Church and Chapel Union, Lord Shaftes- 
bury in the chair, where I met Mr Blake, who shewed 
me Clara's letter about the additional Testaments she 
is going to give to the men of the 97th. At the Lon- 
don Bridge Station I met William Gregory, one of 

Miss M 's navvies, and we had a long talk, 

walking up and down, for a full hour. 

u I went yesterday to hear Mr Cadman preach at 
St George's Church, South wark. I set off early to 
walk there, and arrived half an hour before the service 
began. So, having a little time to spare, I spent it 
in conversing with a cabman, I hope profitably. I 
heard a capital sermon from Mr Cadman. He is an 
earnest, faithful preacher of Christ. He had invited 
me to luncheon at his house, and afterwards I went 
out with him to see the ragged schools, six in num- 
ber. He seems almost weighed down under a sense 
ot the great responsibility of his cure. His parish 
numbers 40,000 souls, mostly of the lowest poor. I 
said to him, i You need, Sir, often to have near and 



THE WAE. 147 

precious views of Jesus in your own soul to keep your 
spirit from desponding and your faitk strong.' He 
said, i Yes, it is only the thought of Him that supports 
us in our work ; otherwise it would at times be over- 
whelming.' At parting he warmly commended me 
to the grace of God. Would, dearest Mary, that both 
of us had the deep, unfeigned humility of this good 
man ! 

" In the evening I went to Park Chapel to hear Mr 

Goodhart, of whose preaching Miss M spoke in 

such very high terms. I found a nice walk through 
a shaded lane towards Chelsea. On emerging into 
the road, I saw an old woman dressed in black, and 
asked her the way to Park Chapel. She said, l Oh, 
Sir, I am going there ; will you come with me ? or, 
as I shall walk too slow for you, I will tell you the 
way.' I told her I would prefer accompanying her. 
We began talking together. She was loud in her 
praises of Mr Goodhart, and said, 6 Woe be to the 
man who sits under his preaching without being 
changed.' I mentioned another excellent man. She 
instantly said, i Yes, he is a very good man, but he 
cannot hold a candle to this dear child of God.' 
When we arrived at the chapel she made me come 
into her pew. The chapel was quite full, and I never 
heard a more beautiful, powerful sermon in all my 
life — pure Gospel from beginning to end. I was 
rather amused several times by my old friend's saying, 



148 THE WAR. 

1 Ah, did you ever hear anything like that before ? ' 
1 What do you think of that ? ' After the service, I 
told her I should like to say a few words to him 
about the meeting of the Soldier's Friend Society. 
She said, c You shall see him ; he is such a nice man 
to talk to,' and shewed me the way to the vestry. I 
hesitated to go in, but she threw open the door and 
made me go in. I introduced myself to Mr Goodhart, 
and he welcomed me most kindly. I found out what 
I wished to know about the Meeting, and wished him 
good-night. I never saw the old woman in black 
again. 

" I must conclude, as I have much to do. I have 
to go and see about my married soldiers' children. 
Warm love to all. Kiss my godchild for me. May 
the Lord Jesus be with you, and the Holy Spirit be 
poured upon you ! 

" Ever, dearest Mary, 
" Your devotedly attached brother, 

" Hedley Vicaes." 

On the evening of Wednesday the 17th, he 
attended the first public Meeting in Exeter Hall, 
for the Soldiers' Friend Society, in which he was 
warmly interested. Some of his men were also pre- 
sent. 

He found time for the service of God, and for pro- 
moting the interests of His kingdom upon earth, 



THE WAR. 149 

without neglecting any of the last obligations of 
friendship before his final parting, and whilst occu- 
pied, almost from morning till night, in arranging and 
providing for the wives and children of the soldiers 
of the Light Company. 

The order had come for the embarkation of his 
regiment on Friday in that week. The fulfilment of 
an old promise was now claimed by him, that we 
should meet him at Waterloo Station, and cheer him 
with a last " God bless you ! " there. 

But, on Thursday afternoon, he sent a note by 
express, to say that they had just received orders to 
leave London at six o'clock ; and that much as he 
had rested on the promise of this last act of friendship 
in England, he could not request its fulfilment, as the 
hour was so early. 

It need not be said, that the hour was of no moment 
to those who loved him. By six o'clock we drove up 
to the Waterloo Station. 

It was a lovely morning, that 19th of May. The 
sunshine, glittering on the bayonets of the men, as 
they marched up the steps to the station, seemed to 
mock the tears of wives, sisters, and friends, who 
accompanied them. 

I saw a young wife quit her hold of her husband's 
hand, and approach Hedley Vicars, with a manner 
of respectful confidence, as she said to him, " Oh, Mr 
Vicars, you will see that Cottrell writes to me regular, 



150 THE WAR. 

won't you ? It is my only comfort to know that you 
will." 

The kindness and sympathy of his tone, as he 
answered her, told that her confidence was not mis- 
placed. 

Just then, his brother arrived; and during the 
delay which followed before the train started, we 
read the 121st Psalm in the waiting-room. I remem- 
ber the deep well of quiet confidence in his eye, 
as the words were repeated to him, " The Lord is thy 
keeper." 

There was something in the tone of his voice that 
day which struck like a distant knell upon our hearts. 
It was a foreboding tone. However strongly hope 
may have sprung up afterwards, we felt at that 
moment that it was our last parting. 



CHAPTEE VIII. 



" And the King shall answer and say tinto them, Verily I say unto 
yon, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my 
brethren, ye have done it nnto me," 



The path of Hedley Vicars for nearly three years 
past had been as a shining light in the eyes of 
all who watched it. But during his last year upon 
earth it shone " more and more unto the perfect 
day." 

Doubtless, for a heart at once so tender in its own 
feelings, and so intent on sustaining the spirits of others, 
there was a discipline of no light character in the 
partings he had just gone through, with a presage 
that they were final; and, although the hopes of 
young, high-hearted manhood rose at times above 
that solemn foreboding, it ran like an under-current 
through the remainder of his course, and deepened 
his earnestness in pressing after the prize set before 
him. 

Before the Orinoco sailed from the shores of Eng- 
land, he found time to pour fourth the overflowings 
of his full heart in the following letters to his mother, 
and to one of the friends with whom he had last 
parted : — 



154 THE HOSPITAL. 



TO HIS MOTHER. 

" On hoard the Orinoco, May 19, 1854. 
u . . . . I feel grateful to God for having 
given me so many kind Christian friends, but far 
above all for having given me such a mother, whose 
prayers I believe God has answered in leading me for 
shelter and refuge to the cross of Christ. Do not, I 
beseech you, dearest mother, be the least anxious 
about me. I am in God's hands, therefore fear not 
for me. Nothing could make my hands stronger 
than knowing that your mind is at peace and quiet. 
We know that all things work together for our good, 
that Jesus loves us with an everlasting love, and 
that it is not only in health that He is with us, 
but when we come to die He will ' comfort ' us, and 
bear us safely through the valley of the shadow of 
death." 

" On board the Orinoco, May 19. 
u . . • . Here we are, thank God, safe and 
sound ! We expect the head-quarters from Windsor 
at twelve o'clock to-morrow, but it is doubtful 
whether we sail on Saturday evening or Sunday 
morning. And now, thank you from my innermost 
soul for your precious letter. I could say but little 
this morning, and I feel now that I cannot half 



THE HOSPITAL. 155 

express my intense gratitude for all your many acts 
of true-hearted friendship. How very, very kind of 
you to drive so far to wish me a last farewell ! God 
bless you, dearest friend, for this crowning proof of 
your affection, and reward you a thousandfold for all 
you have done for me and mine ! I left you with a 
heavy heart this morning, and was thankful to find 
myself in a carriage, alone ; that I might give way 
to a weakness which I would not confess to any one 
else. It was a relief to my full heart ; and even a 
soldier may be allowed a few tears at parting. Your 
letter refreshed and comforted me very much. I read 
it over and over again. I feel grateful to you for the 
interest you have taken in poor Cottrell's wife. I 
have desired him to write to her. Thank dearest 

from me for every kind word she spoke to 

soothe the sorrowing heart of that poor woman. Tell 
her that this morning, in my cabin, alone, I poured 

out my soul in prayer for her In this world 

we must expect trials and sorrows ; indeed, I think 
we should soon cease to feel our constant need of 
Jesus, if it were not so, and willingly, yes, joyfully, 
do I hail any cross that weans me more from the 
world and leads me closer to Him. 

" Excuse this hasty letter. I have everything to 
do on board, as the rest are on shore. I will write 
as often as I can, if not oftener ! . . . Jesus has given 
me a strong desire to devote my remaining days to 



156 THE HOSPITAL. 

His blessed service ; and 0, Heavenly Father, grant 
me thy Divine grace and mighty help, that I may 
never bring dishonour on the sacred name of Christ ! 
I often fear lest anything I say or do should have 
this effect. Oh, for a single eye to the glory of Jesus, 
that every act might spring from the motive of pure 
and unfeigned love to Him ! But beneath the cross 
we are, thank God, safe and secure. He will carry 
on the work He alone has begun in our hearts, even 
until the day of Jesus Christ. God bless you all, 
exceeding abundantly above all I can ask or think ! 

" On hoard the Orinoco, Mediterranean, 
May 31. 

" . . . . The day we left the Bay of Gibraltar the 
secret of our destination was divulged. We are to 
form part of an Anglo-French force in Greece, for the 
purpose of bringing King Otho to his senses. It is 
thought very probable that we shall eventually be 
sent on to Turkey, but it will be some months, at 
any rate, before this most desirable event can take 
place. Still I feel assured that everything is ordered 
by a wise and gracious Providence, and, therefore, it 
must be for the best, however disappointing it may 
appear. 

" We have had rather rough weather since we left 
England, but the last two or three days have been 
delightful. There are many drawbacks on board 



THE HOSPITAL. 157 

ship, in a religious point of view, but I have had 
glimpses of Jesus, and found Him to be very precious 
to my soul. I have established a Bible-reading class, 
which numbered six last Sunday — as many as the 
cabin could contain ! With several of my brother 
officers I have had most interesting conversations, and 
with some to whom I never spoke on religious sub- 
jects before : and I believe that in many a heart there 
is implanted a desire for that which the world can- 
not give. Some of them will not only listen atten- 
tively to what refers to their eternal welfare, but seem 
most anxious to renew the subject. God grant that 
this time of trouble and excitement may be made the 
means of awakening careless hearts, and leading them 
to Christ. 

" June 1. — We are now in Malta Harbour, and 
expect to leave for the Piraeus in an hour's time. A 
French frigate passed us this morning, the men turned 
up and cheered her most heartily, to which the French- 
men responded as cordially. 

TO HIS MOTHER. 

" PirceuSj June 3, 1854. 
"Ever dearest Mother, — By God's mercy we 
have at length reached our destination. The Orin- 
oco let go her anchor about three o'clock this after- 
noon. I got up very early this morning, and went 



158 THE HOSPITAL. 

on deck. On either side of us was high, rocky 
land, and here and there were several islands, barren 
and uncultivated. We steamed past Athens; it is 
situated on the slope of a hill, with high mountains 
stretching away on both sides. As we kept out a 
considerable distance from land we could not distin- 
guish much. In an hour we entered the harbour of 
the Piraeus, and here the scene that presented itself 
was very novel. We had scarcely anchored, when 
the rigging of the Leander, & British frigate, was 
swarming with her crew, who welcomed us with loud 
hurrahs j answering cheers pealed from a thousand 
throats, and scarcely had they died away, when the 
band of the French flag-ship, the Gomer, struck up 
< God save the Queen,' and the men clustered like 
bees in the rigging, waving their straw caps, and 
cheering most heartily. Vive VEmpereur, sounding 
plain and distinct from the quarter-deck of the Orinoco, 
was the signal for renewed and long-continued cheer- 
ing. Hardly had they ceased, when all else was 
drowned in the thundering of the saluting cannon. 

The Pirasus is surrounded by hills, the slopes 

of which are thickly studded with the tents of the 
French ; indeed they appear to be everywhere. They 
have a guard at the entrance of the harbour, and 

several outposts in the town I thank God 

that, notwithstanding many obstacles in various ways, 
He has given me the power to keep near to Jesus j 



THE HOSPITAL. 159 

indeed, I feel more than ever the comfort of religion. 
Pray for me, dearest mother, that I may be kept 
faithful unto the end. This is indeed a poor world 
without Christ. God .bless you, dearest, best of mo- 
thers, and may you be c filled with the Holy Ghost !'" 

TO MISS VICAES. 
" Magazine Guard, Pirams, June 22. 
" My darling Maey, — Being on guard to-day, I 
take the opportunity of writing to you, as here I have 
both a table and chair, and my tent can boast of 
neither. The heat is excessive, the thermometer being 
100° in the shade. You have no idea what lassitude 
and disinclination for exertion creep over one ; but I 
fight against it as well as I can. I have not yet seen 
Athens by day; but on the 13th, I started about 
sunset with a young brother officer, to have a moon- 
light view of the Acropolis. After a dusty walk of 
six miles, we reached the famous city. We walked 
about the streets for upwards of an horn, and met 
several Greek soldiers armed with firelock and sword, 
some of whom looked rather savagely at us. Not 
knowing our way up to the ruins of the Acropolis, we 
should have had some difficulty in finding it, when 
luckily we met a Greek, to whorn we had given a free 
passage from Malta, and who spoke English tolerably 
well. He shewed us the way up the mountain. 
AVhen we reached its summit, we passed through a 



160 THE HOSPITAL. 

low archway which led to a small wicket gate, barred 
and locked. On knocking, we were roughly chal- 
lenged by a sentry, whom we had evidently aroused 
from his peaceful slumbers ! When our guide ex- 
plained that we were English officers, the door was 
quickly opened. We went up several marble steps, 
and found ourselves in the venerable ruins of the 
Acropolis. I never saw so magnificent a sight. The 
full moon was shining in pale splendour ; high massive 
columns, in good preservation, stood out in bold re- 
lief; whilst others, shattered by the Turkish cannon, 
during the last war, or mouldering from age, scarcely 
reared their heads above the marble pavement. But 
such a scene loses by description. I had brought my 
Testament, in the hope that we could read a quiet 
chapter together, on the spot where Paul once preached 
1 Jesus Christ, and Him crucified ; ' but the chattering 
guide and inquisitive guard who accompanied us, 
prevented our having this pleasure. From an old 
embrasure, about two hundred feet above the town, 
we had a beautiful view of Athens. I could have re- 
mained there for hours. Oh, how I wish you could 
have been with us ! 

" I enjoyed so much my first walk to Athens, that 
the next night I went there again, with another officer, 
and read Acts xvii., on c Mars' Hill,' by moonlight. 
We did not reach the Pirasus till half-past two in the 
morning ! While we were away, the Camp had a 



THE HOSPITAL. 161 

false alarm. One of the sentries observed what he 
thought to be a large body of armed men approach- 
ing ; and, giving the alarm, the men were quickly 
out of the tents, and, amidst great confusion, began 
loading their muskets, &c. After they had formed in 
column, — the French on each side being also under 
arms, — a party was sent to reconnoitre, when the 
enemy was discovered to be a large drove of oxen, 
with their drivers! 

" We expect to move into barracks in a day or two, 
which will be much more pleasant. 

" Dearest Mary, how it increases my love for you 
to know that you are seeking after the same Saviour, 
that you are following after Jesus. 

" ' Oh, may we ever walk in Him, 
And nothing know beside, 
Nothing desire, nothing esteem, 
But Jesus crucified.' 

" A few of us have met together on different occa- 
sions in one of the tents, and twice under the rocks, 
for reading the Scriptures ; but when we get into 
barracks, I hope we shall be able to have a regular 
meeting every day, as we did on board the Orinoco. 
One or two of those who are entering on the Christian 
course have much to encounter in the way of ridicule, 
but God will give them strength and courage. 

" I have nothing to put up with in this way now ; 
the worst, by far the worst, of all my real enemies, I 

L 



162 THE HOSPITAL. 

find to be my own evil heart ; and it is in conquering 
and overcoming this, that the grace of God and the 
power of the Holy Spirit are shewn in all their mag- 
nitude and restraining force. 

" Best love to you all, and to the chicks. My love 
to dear Miss Strutt. God bless you all. May we be 
kept close to Jesus. 

" Ever, dearest Mary, your most deeply attached 
and affectionate brother, 

" Hedley." 

" Piraeus, July 2, 1854. 
" Heaven's blessings upon you, dearest friend, for 
your precious letters. I cannot tell you with what 
delight I hailed your handwriting. Immediately I 
sallied forth to my cave under the rocks, where I had 
the rich enjoyment of reading them undisturbed. 
How I long with you, to have my heart more entirely 
given up to my blessed Saviour, to have every thought 
brought into obedience to Him, and that the fruits of 
the Holy Spirit may prove the reality of my faith, 
making me more humble, more holy, more heavenly- 
minded ! Often do I fear, lest by word or deed I 
should bring dishonour on the name of Him we love ; 
but yet I feel a quiet confidence that He will keep me 
by his grace and power, and enable me to persevere 
to the end. There is indeed great peace in simply 
believing, living upon Jesus. What peaceful, happy 



THE HOSPITAL. • 163 

hours are those when Christ is the sole meditation of 
the heart ; and even when earthly thoughts intrude, 
or darkness fills the soul for a time, how sweet to re- 
collect that i He knoweth our frame ; He rernember- 
eth that we are dust ! ' " 

" Piraeus, July 11. 

" How I bless God for his tender love and mercy 
in restoring your "beloved sister. I speak hut the 
truth of my heart, when I say that in all your sorrow 
I suffer, and in all your comfort I am comforted. 

" I had very strong faith that God would spare 
her precious life, and restore her to health. May 
every answer to our prayers make us, in dependance 
upon Christ, wrestle the more earnestly in every fresh 
petition, especially for heavenly blessings upon our 
souls. So shall we have power with God, and 
shall prevail. I have heard prayer ridiculed, and 
insinuations thrown out that only men of weak minds 
ever pray. Little do those who thus speak know the 
real delight of prayer, nor the deep joy when the 
answer comes. 

" ' What various hindrances we meet, 
In coming to a mercy-seat ! 
Yet who that knows the worth of prayer, 
But wishes to be often there ] ' 

" But what a thought to fill our minds, when we 
approach a throne of grace, — that Jesus is pleading 
for us, and that our prayers are His. 



164 THE HOSPITAL. 

" I greatly like the passage from Captain A.'s 
letter, and rejoice in the hope that he has chosen 
Christ Jesns for his portion, or rather that Jesus 
has chosen him ' before the foundation of the world/ 
and written his name l in the Book of Life.' Tell 
him, in seeking and following Jesus, he will find 
peace and rest to his soul. A hard struggle it will 
be at first ; but ere long he will find his Saviour's 
words to be true, l My yoke is easy, and my burden 
is light. 7 

" . . . . Often do I join you in spirit at 
your cottage readings and sacred prayer meetings. 
What happy hours are those when, shut out from 
all that makes the world unlovely, we can enjoy 
uninterrupted communion with the Lord's people! 
It is so refreshing to know and feel that Jesus is 
precious to other souls. The Christian does not want 
a monopoly of that love. There is enough and to 
spare for all. Oh, that my comrades would be wise ; 
that they would taste and see, ere they talk lightly 
of the love of Christ, or rob Him of the glory of their 
souls' redemption, purchased by the atoning blood of 
his Cross! Would that, not only they, but every 
living man, drawn by redeeming love, would let 
the Redeemer c see of the travail of His soul, and be 
satisfied ! ' 

" We generally get a few together for Bible read- 
ing in the afternoon. Nares has been ill ; I have had 



THE HOSPITAL. 165 

many a delightful talk with him on subjects that used 
to be of little interest to either of us. 

"I saw a Greek funeral the other day ; it was a 
horrid sight. The corpse, dressed like a bride, with 
trinkets and ornaments, and a wreath of flowers 
round the head, was carried through the streets in 
an open coffin. Three or four fat, dirty-looking priests, 
holding large crosses, led the procession, without 
even a mock air of grief, but looking rather jolly 
than otherwise. 

" I must now conclude, for it is just midnight. 
You can have no idea how the musquitoes have been 
biting me under the table, ever since I began writing. 
Macgregor paid me a visit to-day : he is quite a 
young fellow ; I like him very much ; we have had 
many conversations together: he is another proof of 
the untold blessing of having a pious mother, and a 
pious father too. . . . 

" Give my love to that dear old Christian, Mrs 
Kipping, and thank her for her prayers. Tell me 
how poor Mr B. is ? I shall never forget his telling 
me one day, with tears in his eyes, 1 1 cannot believe ! 
I want to believe ! ' I have often prayed for him 



TO DE TWINING. 

" Pirceus, Greece, July 19, 1854. 
I thank you from my innermost soul, 



166 THE HOSPITAL. 

dearest friend, for the comfort and peace I now enjoy: 
for leading me (as the instrument in God's hands) 
to Jesus. And now, having tasted that the Lord is 
gracious, — having known somewhat of the love of 
Christ, I would endeavour to win my fellow-sinners 
to Him — from vanity to real enjoyment. 

" Jesus is very precious to my soul, — my All in 
all. Often have I been on the point of falling away, 
and yet His arm has held me up, and kept me from 
bringing dishonour on His blessed name. To Him 
be all the praise and glory ! 

" Seasons of despondency and gloom I have had, 
but my consolations have abounded also, and I trust 
that I am seeking for more conformity to Jesus in 
my life and conversation, through the mighty help 
of His ever-blessed Spirit. But with St Paul, often 
in the agony of my soul am I forced to cry out, ' 
wretched man that I am, who shall deliver me from 
the body of this death?' Yet with whom also I 
can say, ' I thank God, through Jesus Christ our 
Lord.' . . . 

" We are quartered here with the French, who 
have upwards of 4000 men. They are in tents ; we 
are now in barracks. The weather is very hot, and 
the climate bad. We are now in quarantine, as the 
cholera has broken out amongst the French. They 
have lost two officers and one hundred men. We 
have not lost a man ; but it is a solemn time, and 



THE HOSPITAL. 167 

loudly calls upon each of us, c Prepare to meet thy 
God.' 

" I feel very much being debarred from the means 
of grace and from the communion of the Lord's 
people ; but Jesus more than makes up for every loss. 
There have been happy moments, when He has been 
very near, and when I felt that I should wish to 
depart and be with Him." 

To the same beloved and honoured friend (of whom, 
with every member of his family, Hedley Vicars ever 
retained the most affectionate remembrance) he had 
previously addressed these words, which forcibly ex- 
pressed the deliberate choice of his soul : — 

" I would not, for all the world could give me, go 
back to my former state. I have gained immeasur- 
ably more than I have given. In exchange for fleet- 
ing pleasures now, I have hopes of lasting joys, which 
mortal eye hath never seen, nor ear heard of, nor heart 
can conceive. I have been brought into friendship 
with God, through the merits and precious blood- 
shedding of my Redeemer and the influence of the 
Holy Ghost. And in place of an aching heart, T 
have tasted of a peace which passeth understanding." 



Hedley Vicars was now to enter on the most solemn 



168 THE HOSPITAL. 

period of his life. To those who watch the guidings 
of the Divine hand, it will be scarcely necessary to 
point out the wisdom of that Providence which led 
him to Greece, and kept him there throughout the 
awful prevalence of the cholera and malignant fever, 
— a visitation which, within the space of thirty-four 
days, deprived his regiment of one hundred and 
twenty of its ablest and finest men. 

As no spiritual instruction was provided for either 
Protestant or Eoman Catholic soldiers, the field was 
his own. He began his work by undertaking the 
command of funeral parties for other officers, who 
gladly relinquished to him a task so little congenial 
to their feelings. In this way he obtained frequent 
opportunities of addressing the living around the 
graves of the dead, warning them to flee from the 
wrath to come, and beseeching them to close at once 
with offers of free pardon and mercy from that Divine 
Redeemer who is " the life of them that believe, and 
the resurrection of the dead." 

On the first of these solemn occasions his heart was 
too full for words, yet the tears which stifled his voice 
had an eloquence of their own for the brave men 
around him. They reckoned not the less confidently 
on his dauntless courage in every hour of danger. 

" One touch of nature makes the whole world kin." 

The solemn and tender tone of his own feelings com- 



THE HOSPITAL. 169 

municated itself to them, and thus were their hearts 
opened to receive the message he so longed to 
deliver. 

It was " the love of Christ constraining " him, and 
no mere sense of duty, which led Hedley Vicars to 
spend the greater part of his days, and often of his 
nights, in the pestilential air of the crowded hos- 
pitals — 

" Seeking, as men seek for riches, 
Painful vigils by the bed 
Where the sick and dying stretches 
Aching limbs beside the dead." 

Dearer than life to him was the hope of persuading 
the dying to look to Jesus, remembering the breadth 
of the promise, " Look unto me, and be ye saved, all 
ye ends of the earth." And doubly did he prize the 
opportunity, when the lighting up of a dying eye at 
the name of Jesus assured him that he was minister- 
ing to one of the brethren of his Lord, for he was not 
unmindful of the words, " I was sick, and ye visited 

ME." 

Whilst thus intently occupied in promoting the 
spiritual welfare of the men of his regiment, he was 
no less keenly alive to the best interests of his brother 
officers. Although open opposition on the part of 
those who differed from him in religious opinion had 
long ceased, he did not know until now how firm was 
his hold on their feelings and confidence. When laid 



170 THE HOSPITAL. 

aside by illness, they all welcomed his visits, and 
generally asked him to repeat them. The reality of 
his religion was now proved beyond all question. It 
had been weighed in the balances with mere worldly 
motives of action, and had not been found wanting. 
Confidence could no longer be withheld from prin- 
ciples which had subdued to thoughtful tenderness for 
the souls of those around, a spirit amongst the most 
buoyant and dauntless of them all. 

" I have been thinking over the time we spent at 
the Piraeus," writes a young brother officer, in whom 
Hedley Vicars was warmly interested, " and will tell 
you of anything which strikes me. I was constantly 
with Vicars there, and know what his daily life was 
better, perhaps, than any one else. But about that, 
it is difficult to say more, than that he never for a 
moment seemed to forget ' whose he was.' When we 
were in camp, on first landing, he was in the habit of 
going out alone for hours amongst the rocks on the 
sea-shore, having only his Bible, which, I remember 
his telling me, Dr Marsh called i his sword. 1 

11 As you know, of course, there was no chaplain 
for the English troops there. The Chaplain attached 
to the English Legation at Athens came over to the 
Pirgeus at first to perform a short service in one of the 
barrack rooms, but as soon as the sickness broke out 
he was not allowed to come. Part of the service was 



THE HOSPITAL. 171 

generally read, on Sunday, by the officers to the men 
of their own companies ; and the officers, in rotation, 
took the duty, morning and evening, of burying the 
dead, which sometimes, of our English regiment only, 
exceeded ten daily. Hedley Vicars undertook this 
duty several times for others, and seldom, if ever, per- 
formed it without adding a few earnest words to the 
men present. Soon after the sickness broke out, he 
used regularly to visit the hospitals, reading and 
praying with the dying men, and taking every oppor- 
tunity of speaking of the ' one thing needful ' to 
others. In these visits to the hospitals he was some- 
times accompanied by two or three of his brother 
officers, one of whom, Major Colville, has since died 
in the Crimea. 

u "With all his zeal, he was ever careful to avoid 
giving offence. I have known him erase passages 
which seemed to speak harshly of Roman Catholics 
from tracts he was about to distribute generally 
amongst the men. Much as he abhorred Popery, he 
had the greatest tenderness for the feelings of Koman 
Catholics. His constant kindness and sympathy for 
all, of any creed, and whether officers or men, is not 
easily to be described. When others were depressed, 
he was always hopeful. His spirits were hardly ever 
cast down. 

a All these things you must have heard from 
others. The most remarkable thing about him — his 



172 THE HOSPITAL. 

great consistency of life and conversation, with his 
entire devotion to the one cause ever set before him — 
I seem to be nnable to put into words." 

The history of this solemn time is more fully given 
in his own earnest letters : — 

" Piraeus, July 21, 1854. 
" .... I know that what I have to tell you will 

cause you great anxiety ; but the newspapers will give 
you all particulars, whether I do so or not. The 
cholera has been raging here. For some time it was 
with the French alone ; but the day before yesterday 
we lost one man, and since then, nine have been car- 
ried off by it. Oh, dearest friends, pray that this fearful 
visitation may be the means of awakening solemn 
thoughts in the stoutest hearts amongst my thought- 
less comrades, and leading them for pardon, peace, and 
safety to Jesus the Saviour of sinners. Do not be 
alarmed for me. Remember God's delight in answer- 
ing prayer, and surely no man has such praying friends 
as I have. How often the happy hours we have passed 
together come before me, and I wonder whether we 
shall ever have them over again ! . . . . Should I die 
now, you know my only ground of hope, my only 
confidence, my only assurance is in the cross of Jesus 
Christ and in the knowledge that the ' precious blood 
of Christ cleanseth from all sin : ' — words as full of 
sweetness and of consolation to me now as on the day 



THE HOSPITAL. 173 

when they were first made to my soul, i the power of 
God unto salvation.' Death in this form, at all events, 
has its gloom even for Christians ; but then the sting, 
yes, the sting, is for them completely taken away." 

u Piraeus, July 25. 

" . ; . . Death has been busy amongst our poor 
fellows since I last wrote to you. Twenty-seven have 
died in seven days. I am quite well, thank God, 
although in low spirits. How can it be otherwise, 
seeing so many for whom I had a regard cut off thus 
suddenly? Several of the officers of my regiment 
have been ill with fever. They have been mercifully 
spared from cholera hitherto. 

" Do you remember poor young Reynolds, the sol- 
dier whom you noticed particularly when you gave 
the hymn-books to the men at Kensington Barracks, 
and those kind words of parting counsel which they 
have never forgotten ? I buried him and another 
comrade last night. I had intended speaking a few 
words to my men over the open graves of their dead 
messmates ; but it was as much as I could do to get 
through the service ; and as soon as I began to speak 
to them afterwards, I could not for the life of me help 
crying like a child. The men cried and sobbed 
around me. It was of no use to try to go on, so I 
ordered them to i fall in,' and we went mournfully 
back to the barracks. 



174 THE HOSPITAL. 

"Morning and evening the dead-cart leaves the 
hospital for the graveyard. It is all very sad and 
solemn, but l there is a silver lining to the darkest 
cloud.' I believe that to many this dread visitation 
of the Almighty has taught a lesson which I trust and 
hope will never be forgotten. Alas ! that so few have 
the comfort of religion, the knowledge of Jesus Christ ! 
With some of my brother officers I have lately had 
most earnest conversations, and they have promised 
to come to my room that we may read the Bible 
together. Oh, that I may be enabled to speak a word 
in season to their souls, and by my poor feeble testi- 
mony to His tenderness and love, lead them to that 
precious Saviour who died for sinners ! We meet 
for prayer every evening, with peculiar reference to 
the removal of this grievous sickness, if it please God, 
and for the gift of His Holy Spirit to sanctify the 
visitation." 

u July 26. — Since I wrote the above, five more have 
died. One of them was my former servant, poor 
Hylyard. I took the service for the officer whose turn 
it was to command the funeral party, and said a few 
words to the soldiers who were standing around the 
graves, and asked them to join in prayer with me. ] 
heard the voices of many, broken by their sobs. Not 
one of these fine fellows would hesitate to face a 
cannon's mouth or mount the deadly breach, yet they 
shrink from the fearful ravages of this unseen foe. 



THE HOSPITAL. 175 

Will you all pray for my regiment ? Pray for the 
outpouring of the Holy Spirit upon them. Few are 
as yet prepared to die. God bless and keep you all ! 
In the midst of these gloomy scenes I think as often 

as ever of L , and, if possible, with even more 

overflowing thankfulness and love." 

" Piraeus, August 12. 
" . . . . One hundred and five have died since the 
cholera broke out ; most of them were amongst the 
finest, healthiest fellows in the regiment. I have 
many opportunities now of speaking both to officers 
and men, and trust and believe, in some cases, not 
without benefit. I have taken the duty of burying 
the dead several times out of my turn, as some of the 
officers have rather an objection to it, and I have been 
enabled to speak to the men after the service. They 
endeavour to join me in prayer very earnestly around 
those open graves. As all the officers, excepting my- 
self and two others, have been ill, either with fever or 
modified cholera, I have regularly gone to read with 
them ; and all are kind, whilst many seem cordially 
to desire more of it. In one or two cases, from what 
I knew of the men when well, I thought the subject 
of Christ crucified might not be liked ; but it was just 
the contrary! The very fellows whom I had most 
fear about speaking to were those who listened most 
attentively and seemed to be the most interested. 



176 THE HOSPITAL. 

u In my own soul I have enjoyed a peaceful, happy 
time, leaning on Jesns. It is true, this is a spiritual 
desert, but seldom have I had more hungerings and 
thirstings after Christ and holiness. With David I 
can say, i My soul thirsteth for Thee, my flesh longeth 
for Thee, in a dry and thirsty land where no water is.' 
But you have taught me not to he selfishly engrossed 
with my own spirit, hut to seek to have my soul drawn 
out to the hungry, to seek diligently after wandering 
sheep; and the deeper one's anxiety, the deeper is 
one's interest and delight in the work. Your precious 
letters help and sustain me. God bless you for them ! 
.... N is most interesting to me now. Trust- 
ing in the strength of Jesus, I believe his mind is 
made up i to follow the Lord wholly.' He comes to my 
room every evening, and we generally walk together. 
Four companies have gone to the hills for change of 
air. I never was better in my life, though, of course, 
not quite so strong as when I left old England." 

" Pirceus, August 18. 
" . . . . About seventy of my hundred and seven 
comrades who have died of cholera were men whom I 
knew well, as they entered the service about the same 
time that I did. I do hope that some, nay, that many, 
amongst them were enabled to look to Jesus in their 
last moments. God grant we may find such to have 
been the case when we all meet at the last day. 



THE HOSPITAL. 177 

" Poor Cottrell has been ill again, but is recovering. 
The Scripture-reading is in the ward where he is, and 
he is very attentive, as indeed they all are. The day 
before yesterday, whilst going round the wards, I 
noticed one poor young fellow who had been admit- 
ted about an hour before. His eyes were sunken, and 
his hollow cheek and blackened face proclaimed that 
this fearful disease had seized upon him with the 
grasp of death. I spoke to him for a little while, and 
then passed on to others. The next day his bed was 
empty. One of the orderlies told me that he suffered 
much in his mind before he died. He had his senses 
to the last, which is very unusual. It appears that 
he had been a Protestant, but became a pervert to 
the Church of Rome. He expressed a wish to die in 
his former faith, and asked one of the men for a 
Prayer-book. Not one was at hand. He then said, 
' Read me the first chapter of the Gospel of St John.' 
At its close, he said he felt much relieved in his mind, 
and died. Oh ! we will believe that he was enabled 
to i behold the Lamb of God which taketh away the 
sins of the world.' I cannot tell you how sorry I am 
that I was not there. One of the orderlies would 
have come for me, but not one could be spared from 
the hospital. 

" Last Sunday one of my brother officers was at- 
tacked with cholera, but he has, thank God, got over 
it. I went to see him several times, and talked to 

M 



178 THE HOSPITAL. 

him about Jesus. Every time I went he told me how 
glad he was of it. I write a line by every mail now 
to tell you of my safety. I am enjoying great peace 
of soul, resting on Jesus, on Him alone." 

" Pirceus, August 21, 22. 

" No one can fancy in England what the arrival of 
the mail is here, nor the power of letters like yours to 
cheer one's heart when all around is gloom and death. 
Your letters and your prayers have nerved me to do 
many things which otherwise I should not perhaps 
have attempted. I feel that I can never tell you what 
a blessing God has made you to me in every way. 
It was you who first raised in my heart a really strong 
desire to save souls, to win fellow-sinners to the cross 
of Jesus Christ, not as a mere duty, but as the heart's 
delight. I cannot express how deeply grateful I feel 
towards you, best and dearest of all my earthly friends. 
But God knows it and hears my poor prayers for 
you 

" You will be thankful to hear there is a decrease 
of cholera. The last man we have lost (one of the 
Light Company) was admitted into hospital last night. 
Poor fellow, he suffered most dreadfully ; it was quite 
painful to stand by his bedside. I remained with 
him for nearly an hour, and spoke to him from time 
to time of Jesus Christ. But whenever the cramps 
came on, his screams quite drowned my voice. On 



THE HOSPITAL. 179 

leaving, I shook hands with him (his were black and 
cold), and told him to ' behold the Lamb of God which 
taketh away the sins of the world/ to look to Jesus, 
whose blood cleanseth from all sin. When I men- 
tioned the name of Jesus, he gave me such a wonder- 
ful look, full of peace and resignation. In less than 
four hours afterwards his soul had fled. 

" Only fifteen are in hospital now with cholera ; 
the fever hospital is still crowded ; but I should think 
no disease, except the plague, can be so horrible as 
Asiatic cholera. I saw its ravages in Jamaica, but 
that which has raged here seems to have been of a 
more virulent nature, and death has come on more 
rapidly ; it so alters the countenance that often I have 
been quite unable to recognise dying men whom I 
found, on asking their names, that I knew very well. 

" My Scripture-reading and prayer-meeting at the 
hospital is better attended than ever. Last Sunday I 
read the twelfth chapter of Hebrews in one of the 
wards; and after talking to the men about it, felt 
my heart drawn out earnestly in prayer for their 
souls. My chief, my only subject with them, is 
Jesus, and it is a theme of which I hope never to 
grow tired. May God the Holy Ghost bless my 
feeble words to their immortal souls, for Jesus Christ's 



" I want to persuade all the men of my regiment 
that nothing would ever give me greater pleasure than 



180 THE HOSPITAL. 

to read and pray with them, at any hour, day or 
night, when any of them are ill or dying, if they 
would only send an orderly to let me know. 

" With Cottrell, who is still in hospital, I have had 
many earnest conversations. Corporal Farmer, whom 
I mentioned to you, is slowly sinking of consumption ; 
he is very peaceful, resting all his hope on Jesus. 
The men, both in hospital and in barracks, have read 
most eagerly the tracts which I have distributed 
amongst them. Captain Trotter added largely to my 
stock; but I have not one too many. I hope and 
pray that they may be the means of leading numbers 
to search the Scriptures. 

" Thank the villagers at Beckenham for their 
prayers for us. God bless them all." 

u Pirceus, August 23. 

" God has answered prayer for me, — both 

for body and soul. Tell dear Mr Chalmers how very 
grateful I am to him for praying for me at his prayer- 
meeting for the army. 

" The cholera has again broken out in my poor 
regiment. Last night poor S , of my Com- 
pany, a fine powerful young man, was admitted into 
hospital ; he had been an orderly attending on cholera 
patients, and had therefore seen many die. I went 
to see him several times in the course of the night, 
but he would not speak or listen to me ; he died soon 



THE HOSPITAL. 181 

after I left him for the last time, and was buried this 
morning." 

" August 26, half-past 11, p.m. 

"Mne men have died since the 23d, — four from 
the Light Company. We have suffered more severely 
than any. Last night I was at the hospital four or 
five times. I went especially to see Egan, an old 
soldier, who had been seventeen years in my Com- 
pany. Poor fellow! he was so grateful; he said, 
when I wished him good-bye for the last time, i God 
bless you, Sir ; and may the blessings of an old man 
rest upon your head, for coming to see and talk with 
an old comrade, when stretched out like this. Yes, 
Sir, and you have the love and blessing of every man 
in the regiment.' I just tell you what he said, be- 
cause it will give you pleasure. I feel myself that I 
have not done a quarter of what I ought to have done. 

" I had hardly got home from seeing Egan, when 
I received a message by an orderly from a young 
drummer, who wanted to see me again. He was very 
ill of cholera, when I had spoken to him before ; but 
it was thought that he would recover. I hurried to the 
hospital, but the lad was insensible. However, I 
offered up a prayer over his bed, the men taking off 
their caps, and joining in, as well as they could follow 
me. He died soon afterwards. 

" Sergeant Jackson was brought into hospital at 



132 THE HOSPITAL. 

eleven o'clock this morning ; lie was a man I knew 
very well — much liked amongst the officers. I went 
twice to-night to see him. The second time his bed 
was empty. One hundred and eighteen are now 
dead ; all men in the prime and vigour of manhood, 
except a few lads. 

" The French are still dying in great numbers 
every day. They have lost 700 men and five officers, 
out of their small force in Greece. The townspeople 
are clearing out as fast as possible. Yesterday 500 
left. The streets are quite deserted, except by French 
and English soldiers. 

" Another company of ours started for Mount Pen- 
telicus the day before yesterday. I accompanied them 
about three miles. Nares went with them ; he did 
not like to leave me, and I feel lonely now he is gone, 
for he was with me at all hours of the day. 

" Obert is the Captain of the Company which has 
just left : he was very ill, but, thank God ! he is re- 
covering, dear fellow. 

" I am so grateful to hear that we are remembered 
in prayer by those blessed Christians at Huntly Lodge ! 
The Lord reward them ! " 

" Sunday, August 27. 
" Our Scripture-reading and prayer-meeting at the 
hospital are still well attended. I always feel re- 
freshed and strengthened myself, whilst talking of 



THE HOSPITAL. 183 

Jesus to others. Surely there is no subject so delight- 
ful to a sinner as ' Jesus Christ, and Him crucified.' 
Grod grant that His love may lead many — all in my 
regiment — to take up their Cross, and follow Him. I 
daily find Him to be more lovely and precious to my 
own soul. What I want now, whilst I have the op- 
portunity, is, to make others as happy as myself; for 
well I know, from long and bitter experience, that 
until the blood of the Cross speaks peace to the soul, 
man is, for the most part, but discontented and miser- 
able. And if this is the case when we are strong and 
healthy, how much more so when sick or dying ! 
Men often talk with unconcern of a dying bed, when 
they think it distant, and refuse to : give way to weak- 
ness,' as they call it, by thinking of it in time ; but it 
is seldom the dream continues to the end ; and when 
the reality flashes upon them, it is sometimes too late ! 
Although even at the very last, Jesus is ready to save, 
yet not a few give up all as lost, and die in despair. 

" But we will hope better things, dearest friend, for 
the men of my poor regiment, and continue to pray 
that the Dayspring from on high which hath visited 
us, by the free grace and mercy of Grod may be shed 
abroad over them all, i to give light to them that sit 
in darkness, and in the shadow of death, and to guide 
their feet into the way of peace.' God grant it, for 
for Jesus Christ's sake ! 

" It was not my servant whom you saw at Ken- 



184 THE HOSPITAL. 

sington who died of cholera, but a man named Hyl- 
yard, who left me about a year ago. Eichard Young, 
I am glad to say, is well. I often see him reading 
the book you gave him. 

" I am advised to go to Pentelicus, for a few days' 
change, but have not made up my mind to it, as I have 
plenty to do here. Certainly , I shall not go as long 
as the cholera remains here. It is, I trust, leaving 
us now, but such has been its malignity, that only 
twenty of those who have been attacked with it have 
come out of hospital alive. 

" The army in Turkey has also suffered severely 
from the pestilence. Rumours are now afloat that we 
are to be sent on thither. We all desire it most 
heartily. 

" God bless you all. 

" Ever, most beloved friend and sister, your most 
attached and grateful brother, 

" Hedley Vicars." 

" The secret of the Lord is with them that fear Him, 
and He will shew them His covenant." That cove- 
nant is "of life and peace," — words which had their 
peculiar charm for Hedley Vicars. There was no 
morbid weariness of existence in him. Love and 
hope were strong in his heart, and the future had its 
own bright pictures before his imagination. Death, 
in itself, was not a thing which he desired ; he de- 



THE HOSPITAL. 185 

lighted in viewing it as " a mere incident in life." 
His soul was kept in peace, amidst " nothing but 
death, death on every side " (to use his own expres- 
sion), because he knew and felt that " he that hath 
the Son of God hath life ; " and with love to that 
Saviour rising above all other love, he could then 
write — 

" Death is dreaded as a fearful thing to go through ; 
but I think, with Jesus very near me, I could wel- 
come it to-morrow. The prospect of meeting in a 
few hours that glorious Saviour, whose love we can 
never conceive here in all its magnitude, makes me 
long i to depart and be with Christ.' " 

By the beginning of September, the cholera had 
disappeared from the Piraeus. Only the 103d Psalm 
now seemed to furnish words warm enough for the 
language of his grateful heart. For a time he was 
cheered by the hope that the impression left by this 
visitation on the minds of a large number of his 
regiment was deep and effectual ; but towards the 
close of that month we find him thus writing — 

" Whilst I see, and bless God for it, a great and 
visible change in many, yet, alas ! in numbers it 
grieves me to perceive that solemn impressions are 
vanishing like ' the morning cloud or early dew.' To 



186 THE HOSPITAL.. 

some of these 1 have spoken ; and if I chance to meet 
them when alone, they express sorrow and regret for 
their ingratitude to the God of all their mercies ; and 
I believe they often mean [in a hind of way) what 
they say ; but when several congregate together, each 
becomes afraid of what his comrade will think of 
him, nntil it seems to be the careful endeavour of 
all to appear as little serious as possible ! But whilst 
I write this, I feel as bad myself ; for, oh ! what weak 
gratitude, what cold love have I too often felt, to that 
great Father who has preserved me through all the 
dangers which lately surrounded me, even from c the 
pestilence that walked in darkness, and the destruc-^ 
tion that wasted at noonday ! ' 

" And then, again, with regard to His infinitely 
greater love in sparing not His own Son, to obtain 
eternal redemption for us, I sometimes think I am 
one of i the nine ' who ' returned not to give glory to 
God ; ' and those words of Jesus seem spoken of me, 
in touching tones of reproach, i Were there not ten 
cleansed ? But where are the nine ? ' Oh ! how 
often when, by the eye of faith, I see Him on the 
cross, or lying dead in the tomb, I am pained to the 
quick by the coldness of my evil heart, and with the 
weariness and want of love with which I i remember 
Jesus.' Should He have to ask us to remember Him ? 
The promptings of our hearts should ever be, l I can- 
not forget Thee.' 



THE HOSPITAL. 187 

" But we know, through the teaching of God the 
Holy Ghost, that we should never have thought of 
Jesus at all, or have loved Him in the least, if He had 
not first loved us, and revealed himself to our souls. 
Therefore, whilst we mourn (I, at least, find need to 
do so often) over our own hearts, we can, and will, 
and do rejoice i with joy unspeakable' in the never- 
changing, never-dying love of Jesus Christ, our 
blessed Saviour. 

" I had a charming trip to Pentelicus. The tents 
are pitched under fine lofty trees, large hills com- 
pletely surrounding the camp on every side. Moun- 
tain torrents dash through the midst of it, and baths 
have been constructed both for officers and men. I 
enjoyed my few days there very much, and thought 

how perfect it would have been to me if L had 

been with me, to enjoy the wild scenery and glorious 
moonlight. But on this subject I have enlarged to 
herself. I was gratified by seeing the change which 
had taken place in one of my young brother officers, 
with whom I formerly joined in many a wild frolic. 
I remember his once saying to me (I think it was at 
Canterbury), when I had spoken to him earnestly 
about his soul, ' Oh, Vicars, my dear fellow, I believe 
in a call, and am only waiting for a call. It is plain 
enough you have had one. Why, the other day you 
were pulling down lamp-posts with me ; and now just 



188 THE HOSPITAL. 

look at you ! ' But I trust that, in a severe fever 
winch he had here, he learnt that the c call' was ever 
sounding in his ears, if he would but listen to it — 
i Whosoeveb will, let him drink of the water of life 
freely ! ' 

" I often feel myself a weak and helpless creature 
when defending the glorious i truth as it is in Jesus' 
against the arguments of men for whom He died, who 
yet deny Him. But' I never enter into discussion 
without first seeking the light and aid of the Holy 
Spirit to guide and direct me, so that every word may 
he according to 'the mind of Christ' — l speaking the 
truth in love. 1 To men of my own age, I can now 
speak more boldly than I could a little while ago. 
But I do find it very hard to say anything on these 
subjects to an old man. I pray to be enabled to do 
so, when the occasion comes, with courage, but always 
with deference and respect. 

" I have lately had some conversation with one of 
my brother officers who began the Christian course 
about the same time that I did, but became a sceptic 
afterwards. I think I see a re-awakening. Oh! 
help me in praying that soon, i in. returning and rest? 
he may be saved ; ' that, accepting the mercy which 
the Gospel reveals, he may soon find the reality, the 
joy, the delight of the religion of Jesus Christ. 

u Thank and bless all who have prayed for me and 
my regiment during the time of the pestilence. Espe- 



THE HOSPITAL. 189 

cially thank your beloved friend Mrs Mackenzie and 
her family, and Dr Tetley and their friends, for their 
united prayer on our behalf. Who knows but that I 
may some day have the pleasure of thanking them 
myself? One day, by the grace of God, I shall." 



TO MISS VICAES. 

" Pirceus, Sept. 27-30. 
H . . . . It is a very gloomy day, the sky 
black and lowering, and the rain descending in tor- 
rents. I was meditating just now on this bleak scene 
of cheerless solitude — my only companion a little 
quail ! — and thinking over the strange and often ap- 
palling sights my eyes have looked upon, in the 
realities of death and the grave, since God called me 
here. As these ideas floated through my mind, the 
train of my thoughts suddenly changed, and the dis- 
mal view without, and the cold and dreary room I 
occupy, brought before me l the Man of Sorrows' — 
Jesus — who once weathered the stormy tempest for 
you and for me, and of whom it may be said, from the 
manger to the grave, that He had not c where to lay 
his head.' It is so soothing to the soul, in seasons of 
cloud and distress, to know that Jesus hath borne our 
griefs and carried our sorrows, and to rest on the ten- 
der kindness of Him who has said, i As one whom 
his mother comforteth, so will I comfort you.' 



190 THE HOSPITAL. 

" ' Jesus, lover of my soul, 

Let me to Thy bosom fly, 
While the billows near me roll, 

While the tempest still is high : 
Hide me, my Saviour, hide, 

Till the storm of life is past ; 
Safe into the haven guide — 

Oh ! receive my soul at last ! ' 

" Oh ! dearest Mary, it is well to have the love of 
Jesus Christ in its reality in our hearts. What solid 
peace and rich enjoyment we obtain by c looking unto 
Jesus ! ' Where else shall we behold the boundless 
love of our Heavenly Father ? 

" What else could have led me to the side of men 
dying of pestilence, for how could I have spoken to 
these poor suffering creatures of the love of God but 
by l looking unto Jesus ? ' And to whom could I 
implore them to look, but to Jesus ? Baptismal 
regeneration, Church privileges, the sacramental sys- 
tem, confession, and priestly absolution may do for 
some people when in health, but no smile of joy from 
a sick man, I believe, would ever be the fruit of such 
miserable comforters in the last hour. When a dying 
man can say or feel, 1 1 know that my Redeemer 
liveth,' he wants no more ; it is Jesus he thirsts for 
and longs to hear about. I have witnessed the effect 
of even the name of Jesus. I have noticed a calm 
and peaceful look pass more than once over the 
ghastly face of the dying as that blessed name passed 



THE HOSPITAL. 191 

my lips. May we not hope, dearest sister, that (as it 
was with the dying thief) even at the hour of death, 
faith in the blood of Jesus, breathed into the soul by 
the Holy Ghost, has set more jewels in the Ee- 
deemer's crown from among the soldiers of the 97th 
Eegiment ? God grant that, when you and I are 
summoned before the bar of Christ, we may meet 
many such, l clothed with white robes, and palms in 
their hands ! ' 

" It is sad to think what harm even well-intentioned 
people may do by wandering away from the cross in 
their dealings with sick men. I remember I used 
often to visit at Halifax a Corporal Craney, of the 
42d Highlanders, who was left behind in hospital 
when his regiment went away. One evening when I 
went to see him, he said to me, ' I am so glad you are 
come, Sir, for you always speak to me of Him of 
whom I love to hear, even Jesus, my precious Saviour. 
But just now, Sir, I had a visit from a gentleman, 
who said to me, with a loud voice and harsh tone, 
" Now, are you sure you have repented of your sins ? 
Are you certain you are not deceiving yourself?" ' 
Now, is not this worse than useless, when a man has 
given clear evidence of repentance and living faith? 
When one has reason to suspect the sincerity of a man 
who professes faith in Jesus, then, still keeping before 
his eyes the cross of Christ to prevent despair, probe 
and search him deeply, and endeavour to make him 



192 THE HOSPITAL. 

examine himself; but never open a wound without 
instantly giving the remedy. There are hypocrites 
in the world, we all know, — men who, while they 
talk with earnestness of their love to the Saviour, yet 
virtually crucify Him in their lives ; and much scandal 
is brought by them on the Church of Christ. But it 
is not the preaching of a free Gospel, as some suppose, 
that makes them so, but their own total ignorance of 
the saving doctrines of the Cross, and of the power of 
the Holy Ghost upon their hearts. 

" I do not think I ever told you of Craney's happy 
death. Shortly before he breathed his last, he asked 
Dr Twining to read Romans viii. to him. As he 
read, the dying man's breath became shorter and his 
face brighter ; and as the last words fell upon his ear — 
i Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall 
be able to separate us from the love of God, which is 
in Christ Jesus our Lord ' — he said, i Thank you, Sir ; 
that will do] and died. 

" I have no news to tell you, my darling sister. 
You will, of course, have heard of the grand victory 
gained by the Allies over the Eussians. Whilst I 
would not have missed the time of the cholera, or 
have been absent a day while my regiment suffered 
from its ravages, yet, I must confess, I should have 
wished to have been now at the post of danger — the 
proper place for a soldier. I do not think my chief 
motive in this desire is the wish for military distinc- 



THE HOSPITAL. 193 

tion, although ready and willing to do my duty as a 
soldier. I trust my motives are more in accordance 
with the mind of Christ. The carnage of the battle- 
field has no attractions for me ; but there is a wide 
field for missionary labour, when the roar of the can- 
non has ceased, and the deadly strife is over. There 
are wounded men, who have souls to be saved, and 
dying men to be told to l look to Jesus : ' not to speak 
of the comfort to a poor soldier of having a * friend in 
need.' Of this I am sure, that the private soldiers are 
most grateful for any kindness from an officer, espe- 
cially when they are sick and in hospital, and they 
think and talk much of officers who thus visit them, 
and endeavour to cheer them in their dreary wards. 
But as God has so ordered it that we should remain 
here, I desire to give up my own will about it." 

There was a tone about his letters during the latter 
part of the month of September, which impressed us 
with the idea that his health and spirits were some- 
what failing. For some time after the trial of the 
cholera season was over, he continued to be a con- 
stant visitor at the hospitals, where fever cases were 
still numerous. But doubtless, it was the extent of 
his exertions during those weeks when he had watched 
day and night beside the suffering and the dying, 
with an intensity of interest in their undying souls, 
which produced too severe a tension of his nervous sys- 

N 



194 THE HOSPITAL. 

tern ; so that, when the call for exertion had passed 
away, he sunk into a state of extreme physical weak- 
ness. This, in its turn, produced a mental depres- 
sion, which cast its shadow upon his religious expe- 
rience. No man could be so keenly alive to spiritual 
joy, without an equally exquisite susceptibility to 
spiritual suffering. " Where you find your greatest 
pleasures," said an old divine, " there expect your 
deepest sorrows." Yet how different are these from 
" the sorrow of the world, which worketh death ! " 

In a letter, written early in October, Hedley Vicars 
thus expresses himself: — 

" You seem to know my state by intuition, and 
never fail to speak comfort to my heart and soul by 
your letters. What dark and cloudy days are these, 
to one whose heart has tasted how sweet and precious 
Christ is, when the Saviour withdraws the light of 
his countenance, and seems to leave the soul (whom, 
nevertheless j He has promised — blessed truth ! — never 
to forsake) , when those glorious promises, which were 
1 the joy and rejoicing of the heart,' fall heavily on 
the ear, and fail to bring Jesus home to the soul. I 
suppose I have a more than commonly stony heart, 
but the Lord is softening it, and causing me, at any 
rate, to wish to be more like Christ. 

" At first, when I heard that my precious L. had 
been ill, — whilst I knew that the Lord would not 



THE HOSPITAL. 195 

afflict willingly, — I found myself a most unbelieving 
creature, when faith was most wanted ; and even now, 
whilst I am praying most earnestly for her, and for 

you, and for L e to be fully restored to health and 

strength, I fear that it is not with that humble sub- 
mission to our Father's will, which true faith in his 
love should impart, following the example of our 
blessed Redeemer, in saying, c Not my will, but Thine 
be done.' " 

But it was not for any length of time that the 
Master, who loved him, left his faithful servant to 
walk in darkness, and have no light, or at best with 
but a twilight glimmering from that Sun of Righteous- 
ness, who was about to arise again and shine upon 
his soul with healing in his wings, and scarcely to 
withdraw Himself any more, until the everlasting 
day broke, and the shadows of death fled away. 

On the 18th of October he writes : — 

" I have but just emerged from clouds which have 
obscured Jesus from my view. I seemed to wander 
in thick darkness, without my loving Eedeemer near 
to be my stay and delight. But great blessings are 
often sent to us after short trials ; and such I think I 
am now finding. The Lord Jesus has arisen upon 
me, and has made His glory manifest to my soul. I 
feel less tied down to this world than I did, and more 



196 THE HOSPITAL. 

ready ' to depart and be with Christ.' Sometimes I 
long to do so ? from fears lest I should ever (I will not 
say fall away, but) do anything which would dis- 
honour my Saviour. And yet what is this but 
cowardice, — wishing to leave the battle-strife of earth 
for the repose of heaven, with Jesus? Oh, rather 
would I wait patiently, and look for the coming of 
the Lord ! Shall we not hail that bright and glo- 
rious day ? ' The Spirit and the Bride say, Come,' 
and our hearts echo, { Come, Lord Jesus ! ' Then 
shall no anxious fears for those whom we love dis- 
turb our hearts, warning us that the joys of friendship 
and of love must end for a time in the cold and dreary 
grave, for then we shall be changed for ever, and ' the 
body of this death ' shall be l fashioned like unto His 
glorious body,' and we shall be together with the 
Lord, beholding the majesty of Him who was slain 
for us, — of Jesus, the King of kings and Lord of 
lords. . . . 

" I knew you would enter into my disappointment 
in not having been ordered on to the Crimea ere this. 
To say I have not felt it (yes, and deeply too!) 
would be saying what is not true. But I hope I can 
leave it now in the hand of my God and Saviour, sure 
that He orders everything for the best. 

" And is it true that William Gregory is dead ? * 

* A railway workman, at one time employed at the Crystal Palace, who 
was reported to have died of cholera, but has survived to mourn his friend. 



THE HOSPITAL. 197 

It grieved me very much to hear it. I loved him 
so heartily, and cannot help sorrowing for him. I 
had so looked forward to his honest, kindly welcome 
when I get back to England, if God spare me to re- 
turn. But we shall walk and talk of Jesus again, in 
His presence, I believe. 

" I greatly enjoy the thought that you three are 
reading the second lesson for the morning each day 
with me. It adds not a little to my pleasure. I have 
lately changed my quarters, and have now got a 
palace of a room, with a beautiful view of the sea, or, 
rather, the harbour. 

" Nares and Macgregor are in the same building 
with me, and Ensign Derrnan,* who was lately pro- 
moted from Serjeant-Major, and in whom I am much 
interested ; so that I am surrounded by those I should 
wish to have near me. With Derman I have had 
several most delightful conversations, and I believe 
he will come out boldly on the Lord's side. Decision 
and courage at first are absolutely necessary for an 
officer who wishes to become a soldier of the Cross. 
Without such, he will have endless difficulties and 
trials, and will have no peace given him by those 
who oppose, until he returns to the allegiance of 

* Ensign, afterwards Lieutenant, Derman, an officer of great promise 
and of high religious principle, who was raised from the ranks, and after- 
wards promoted to the Adjutancy of his regiment. He was mortally 
wounded in the trenches before Sebastopol on the 18th of August 
1855. 



198 THE HOSPITAL. 

the god of this world, or else fearlessly shews Ms 
colours" 

There was another trial to which he was to be sub- 
jected, which, though short, was not slight to a heart 
so keenly alive to anxiety regarding those it loved. 
Early in October it was stated at the Horse Guards 
that the 97th had been ordered on to the Crimea. 
But a delay was occasioned by the want of a trans- 
port at Malta to convey the 3d Buffs to replace the 
97th in the Pirseus. On the 15th of November, with 
the Orinoco again for their transport ship, in the 
highest spirits, this gallant regiment proceeded to the 
Crimea, " eleven hundred strong." In ignorance of 
this delay, Hedley Vicars' family and friends addressed 
their letters to the Crimea from the middle of October. 
When the mistake was discovered, no small self- 
accusation was felt, for a want of forethought in hav- 
ing omitted to despatch letters to both quarters, until 
the news had arrived that he had sailed. But now it 
is more painful still, to read the anxious inquiry and 
gentlest reproach, more implied than expressed, to 
those who would never willingly have caused one 
solitary pang to that gallant, noble, tender heart. 

But the stirring change in his circumstances, 
brought about by the order from the Horse Guards, 
considerably diverted his attention from these anxious 
thoughts. It has been seen how ardently his soldier 



THE HOSPITAL. 199 

heart and missionary spirit alike yearned to be at 
the seat of war. That devoted constancy of courage 
which had enabled him to face Death in the pesti- 
lential hospital — stripped of all his glories, and 
clothed in the sad garb of weakness and decay, yet 
armed with tortures — was now to be exercised in the 
field of military action. 

In addition to the excitement of this immediate 
prospect, new responsibilities, full of interest for his 
genial spirit, now devolved upon him. He obtained 
his company, by purchase, on the 3d of November, 
and devoted himself with almost fatherly interest to 
the welfare of his men. 



His own letters will best tell his thoughts and feel- 
ings on leaving Greece for the Crimea :— 

" Ptrceus, Nov. 2, 1854. 
" The order has at length arrived for l the 97th 
Regiment to hold itself in readiness for immediate 
embarkation to join Lord Raglan's army.' The 
Buffs are now on their way from Malta to relieve us, 
and will probably be here in two or three days. We 
are all busily preparing for active service, so I have 
not much time to spare ; but as there may not be 
another opportunity, I hasten to write a few farewell 
lines. There are times when the heart feels more 



200 THE HOSPITAL. 

powerfully drawn to those whom it loves best. 
It is so with me now, as I recall to mind that 
beloved Mend with whom I have had snch heavenly 
intercourse, and from whom I have ever experienced 
such kindness as I can never forget. May the great 
God who has kept and preserved us until this day, 
continue to guard and watch over you, and may 
your hope, and joy, and love increase as you journey 
on the homeward road towards that happy land 
where Jesus reigns, and where He is waiting to 
receive us ! 

" Before this letter reaches its destination, we shall 
probably be in front of the enemy. God alone 
knows whether we shall ever meet again in this 
world: but, after all, what are the few short years 
we might have lived in the enjoyment of each other's 
Mendship here, compared to that endless eternity we 
shall spend together beyond the grave? My soul 
has lately had to weather many a stormy billow, but 
(and I know it will delight your heart, ever dearest 
friend, to hear it) I feel quite peaceful and happy 
now; my own strength was feeble to resist, but 
Jesus has conquered Satan, and never did I love 
that blessed Saviour more than I do on this day. 



Through all the changing scenes of life, 

In trouble and in joy, 
The praises of my God shall still 

My heart and tongue employ. 



THE HOSPITAL. 201 

" ' Of His deliv'rance I will boast, 
Till all that are distrest 
From my example comfort take, 
And charm their griefs to rest.' 

" Yesterday I was on guard. About twelve o'clock 
at night, whilst reading 2 Cor. v., I had such inward 
joy and peace and comfort, that I felt strongly inclined 
to awaken the poor fellows who were stretched asleep 
on the guard-bed in the adjoining room, to pray with 
them, and to talk to them of the love of Christ ! 
And thus it is (for it seems so selfish to keep all this 
happiness pent up in one's own heart when it might 
be shared by others), whenever I have been brought 
nearest to my Saviour, even l into the holiest by the 
blood of Jesus,' I have been constrained and forced, 
1 while the fire burns,' to i speak with my tongue,' 
and to make use of the golden hours of communion 
with Jesus in the solitude of my chamber, to publish 
when 1 1 go without the camp ' what the Lord Jesus 
has done for my soul ; even for me, than whom a 
man more undeserving of His mercy does not exist. 
I felt so merry and happy in that miserable guard- 
room yesterday! I always make it a rule, after 
reading to the men the l orders of the guard,' to warn 
them against the too prevalant habit of swearing, 
and, to my great delight, during my whole tour of 
duty, I did not hear one oath ; and, in addition to 
this, I had the pleasure of hearing several times the 



202 THE HOSPITAL. 

rustling of the leaves of the tracts I had given 
them ; and two or three times, as I passed through 
their room, I could see them poring over them ; 
and about nine o'clock in the evening, Sergeant 
Stephens, drawing his chair (an empty cask turned 
upside down) near the fire, proposed to read aloud, to 
which a general assent was at once given, and he read 
a tract called c The Young Naval Officer ' to a most 
attentive audience. I was reading my Bible when 
he commenced, and I could not help stopping and 
listening. I cannot tell you how happy I felt as I heard 
him recounting the history of a soul brought to Jesus 
by the power of the Holy Spirit, and earnestly did I 
pray that some of those poor fellows might also be led 
to behold that same Saviour bleeding for them on the 
cross. 

" It grieves me to think of the sorrow it will cause 

to my L and to you should anything happen to 

me ; but for myself, I fear not. If I were trusting to 
myself in any way, I might indeed tremble at the 
whistling of every bullet, and dread being summoned 
in an instant before the judgment-seat of Christ ; but 
I can see no cause for alarm, even at the very moment 
when soul and body are about to separate, with the 
crimson cross in full view. 

" ' For ever here my rest shall be, 
Close to Thy bleeding side ; 
This all my hope and all my plea, 
For me the Saviour died.' 



THE HOSPITAL. 203 

" I intend to carry constantly about with me a 
Testament, my little hymn-book, that precious little 
Book of Psalms you gave me, and also your last gift, 
which I have found such a feast to my soul, c Haw- 
ker's Morning Portion.' I think with these I can get 
on very well in the Crimea. I had a large meeting 
of officers in my room for prayer last Sunday after- 
noon. A number of the sergeants and corporals were 
coming next Sunday, but I suppose we shall not 
spend another Sunday here; however, there is no- 
thing to prevent our having our little meetings in the 
Crimea. 

" I received your precious letter of the 15th on my 
return from a march into the country this afternoon. 
I thank God you are all well again. Thank you 
again for your deeply- valued prayers, and thank all 
those who have so remembered me. May such 
proofs of Christian love lead me in like manner to 
remember, when I kneel before the Lord, all my 
friends and acquaintances. The cholera has broken 
out at Athens, and several people have died; but, 
from accounts received to-day, it appears to be already 
subsiding. 

" The French troops quartered here are anxiously 
expecting the arrival of the transports to take them 
on to the seat of war. I pity the poor Buffs who are 
to relieve us, and remain in this dull place. The 
whole 97th Eegiment, officers and men, are delighted 



204 THE HOSPITAL. 

at the prospect of measuring their strength with the 
'Roossians' (as the soldiers call them). 

" There cannot he a doubt that it is a just war we 
are engaged in ; and therefore I say with thera, the 
sooner we are 'let loose' the better. I think the 
Russians will find the ' Celestials ' rather awkward 
customers to deal with ; — nous verrons ! There are 
some people, I know, who cannot imagine how any 
Christian could ever join the deadly strife of battle ; 
but I can only say that with such I do not agree 
(and I am sure you do not either), so that I shall not 
flinch from doing my duty to my Queen and country, 
the Lord being my helper. 

" I consider war to be a dire calamity, but as much 
a visitation from the Almighty as cholera or any 
other scourge ; and as on the appearance of that 
dreadful malady, we do not sit quietly down and let 
it take its course, but very rightly (trusting in the 
blessing of God) use every precaution, and employ 
every means to drive it from amongst us, so in the 
case of this war with the Russian despot. He has 
made an aggression upon a country (one of our oldest 
allies), which had given him no just cause of provo- 
cation, and has thus disturbed the peace of Europe, 
and let loose upon us the horrors of war, and shall 
we Britons let him have his own way, and tamely 
look on ? God forbid ! Rather will we, the Lord 



THE HOSPITAL. 205 

being our { shield and buckler/ crush the evil, and 
restore peace and quietness to the land. 

" A large steamer came in this morning for two 
French regiments that are to go on to the Crimea. 
We are anxiously looking out for our steamer." 

" On hoard the Orinoco, 

" 11th of November. 

u The ship came into the Piraeus so unexpectedly, 
and was off again with us on board so very soon, 
that I had not a moment's time to write to you at 
starting. 

" The little packet sent in September, arrived the 
day before we left Greece. I cannot tell you what 
delight it gives me. Williams has, indeed, been 
most successful. The little picture has really the 
beauty of a miniature with the truth of a daguerreo- 
type. Nothing else in the world could have been 
of so much value to me. It brings her so forcibly to 
my memory. . . . God grant I may soon have 
good news of you all. 

" I cannot imagine why I have not heard for so 
long a time. You would not, I know, willingly de- 
prive me of my greatest earthly solace. 

" Farewell now, dearest, best of friends. May 
grace and peace be multiplied unto you ! 

" I have much to distract me now ; but, in l look- 



206 THE HOSPITAL. 

ing unto Jesus/ I find still, as in happier times, 
comfort and peace. 

u Blessings on you all. 

" Ever your most deeply attached friend and 
brother, 

" Hedlet Vicaes." 



CHAPTER IX. 



The feign'd retreat, the nightly ambuscade, 
The daily harass, and the fight delay'd, 
The long privation of the hoped supply, 
The tentless rest beneath the humid sky, 
The stubborn wall, that mocks the leaguer's art. 
And palls the patience of his baffled heart : 
Of these they had not deem'd. The battle day 
They could encounter as a veteran may ; 
But more preferr'd the fury of the strife 
And present death to hourly suffering life.''" 



The miseries of the winter before Sebastopol nave 
passed into history. It is not needful here to describe 
the sufferings of our country in the persons of her 
bravest sons, or to recall the unforgotten story of her 
dearly-bought victories. Battles won on the cold soil 
of the Crimea, by weary men, worn down by hunger, 
bore terrible witness to the quenchless nature of Bri- 
tish courage. The men who stormed the heights of 
Alma, — who, in the dreadful fight of Inkermann, con- 
quered again, amidst fogs and darkness, — of whom a 
mere handful, at Balaklava, were seen " charging an 
army, while all the world wondered;" — such men 
had proved their steel. Yet there is a limit to human 
endurance ; and when men of this mould have been 
seen to weepj* as on night after night, succeeding days 
of starvation and toil, they were ordered to their work 
in the freezing trenches, who can estimate the exhaust- 
ing misery they had first endured ? 

* Crimean Correspondence. 



210 WINTER BEFOEE SEBASTOPOL. 

It was amidst scenes like these, and sadder still — 
on the mud-floor of the hospital-tents, that Hedley 
Vicars' faith was to have its last trial. Sharing, as 
he did, in no slight measure, the general toil and pri- 
vation, with the superadded amount of suffering inse- 
parable from his power of strong sympathy, he was 
ever fulfilling the apostolic injunction, " Bear ye one 
another's burdens." His faith was not permitted to 
waver. Through the long dark night of that winter, 
its lamp never wanted oil, but burnt with a clear and 
steady light which not only cheered those around but 
also cast its bright reflection upon praying spirits 
three thousand miles distant. 

From the north of Scotland to the south of Eng- 
land, there were people of God who gave Him thanks 
for the cheerful hope, and faith working by love, 
which breathed through the language of this young 
soldier's letters. 

It has been remarked by a keen observer of human 
nature, who himself passed through the same ordeal, 
that in the course of that winter in the Crimea, the 
individual characteristics of men stood out in more 
striking colours than could have been seen under 
other circumstances. The selfish became more tena- 
ciously selfish than before, whilst those who were 
capable of rising to the heights of self-denial, lived a 
life of daily heroism. 

The reader will be prepared to hear that Hedley 



WINTER BEFORE SEBASTOPOL. 211 

Vicars ranked amongst the last. To give only one 
or two of many instances which have been mentioned 
by his brother officers, or by the men of his regi- 
ment, is all that can be requisite here. 

During the severe cold of that winter, the only bed 
he allowed himself was made of stones and leaves, 
until a fur rug arrived from England, which he felt 
was invested with a kind of claim of friendship to be 
retained for his own use. Everything else which 
could bear the name of luxury, or even of common 
comfort, was given to the deeper necessities of the 
suffering soldiers. 

Towards the end of November, he was in command 
of an outpost, which was not only an important posi- 
tion, open to the attack of the enemy, but was also a 
picquet, furnished by the 97th. On either side of it 
were hills, covered with stunted brushwood : in front 
was a ravine, leading to Sebastopol. Here, by day, 
a subaltern was in command of fifty men ; by night, 
the captain on duty with fifty more. The first force 
was then sent up to a cave on the left of the ravine, 
where a breastwork had been thrown up. For nearly 
three weeks, the party defending the outpost had to 
sleep in the open air, or at best under roofing made of 
bushes, through which the wind and rain freely pene- 
trated. At length, however, two tents were pitched, — 
one for the company, the other for its officer. Hedley 
gave up his own tent to his men, and continued to 



212 WINTER BEFOEE SEBASTOPOL. 

rough it in the open air, considering himself more 
hardy than many of them. * 

There is in many of his letters at this time a sin- 
gular combination of almost apostolic devotedness and 
love, with the gallant ardour of the soldier — leading 
to an almost boyish anticipation of " a brush with the 
Russians.' ' 

Perhaps the best illustration of this twofold life, so 
to speak, is given in the following letter : — 

TO LADY EAYLEIGH. 

u Camp before Sehastopol, 

" November 29, 1854. 
" My own dakling Claea, — I received your de- 
lightful letter yesterday, together with three from 
Beckenham. I think I never had a richer treat. I 
was grieved to hear of your severe illness, but thank 
God you are now recovering. It rejoices my heart to 
hear that you enjoyed so much of the presence of the 
Lord Jesus. When sickness is thus blessed, how ear- 
nestly can we say with David, c It is good for me to 
have been afflicted;' I love the Lord for having 
brought me closer to Himself. God grant that when 

* This circumstance was also mentioned to the writer, with grateful 
appreciation, by a private of the 4th Light Dragoons, when in hospital 
in England many months afterwards. He said, "It had been much 
thought of amongst soldiers in the Crimea." 



WINTER BEFORE SEBASTOPOL. 213 

you are restored to health you may never forget the 
love of that blessed Saviour who was with you in the 
long hours of pain and weariness, when no earthly 
friend could help you. 

" 0, beloved Clara, may the merciful pity and love 
of Jesus constrain each of us to adore Him more, and 
to give up our whole hearts to Him ! Let us ear- 
nestly pray for more faith in His atoning sacrifice, 
for ' the love of Christ' is but an empty sound to us 
until we have by faith seen Him nailed to the cross 
for us. Oh, may we ever think of Jesus as our best 
and dearest Friend and Brother, one whose loving- 
kindness never changes ; and then, in that great day 
when the thorny crown shall be replaced by the royal 
diadem, and Jesus as Lord of all shall ask, c Lovest 
thou me?' our hearts maybe able to answer with 
humility, and yet with confidence, 'Lord, thou knowest 
all things ; thou knowest that I love thee.' . . . 
Thank you for praying for me. I must tell you that 
I never was in better health than at this time, nor in 
better spirits, as far as I am myself concerned. 

" We had delightful weather while sailing up the 
Bosphorus ; the scenery was charming, but the large 
white hospital at Scutari gave me rather a sickening 
feeling at my heart. In the Black Sea we encoun- 
tered very stormy weather, -but came all safe in sight 
of the Crimea on the afternoon of the 19th, and the 
same night anchored in a small bay. The sea was 



214 WINTER BEFORE SEBASTOPOL. 

covered with floating pieces of wrecked vessels, many 
ships having been lost off the coast but a few days 
before ; and some of our fellows saw dead bodies 
floating about. The harbour of Balaklava is very 
small, and the entrance narrow. Here about a hun- 
dred sail were anchored side by side, all of them more 
or less damaged, some entirely dismasted. 

" We did not go on shore till the evening of the 
20th. The rain poured in torrents all day. We 
landed in boats, and were well drenched before we 
reached the encamping ground, and looked more like 
drowned rats than live soldiers. It was dark before 
the tents were pitched. Parties were at once sent out 
to collect firewood, the wrecked vessels furnishing us 
with ample materials. Soon, camp-fires were blazing 
in all directions, and officers and men gathered round 
them to dry their clothes and warm themselves, for 
the nights here are bitterly cold. I can assure you I 
enjoyed some cheese and biscuit not a little. But 
before I looked after myself, I saw my company as 
snug and comfortable as * adverse circumstances would 
admit of,' and afterwards made them a little speech 
around the bivouac fire, combining, as well as I could, 
some religious advice with a few words about our 
duties as British soldiers, and ended by saying, 
i Lads, while I have life, I will stick to the colours, 
and I know you will never desert me.' (My 
position in line is next to the officer who bears the 



WINTER BEFOEE SEBASTOPOL. 215 

regimental colours.) The poor fellows cheered me 
long and loud. I have had very little trouble with 
them — less so by far than others complain of. ■ In- 
deed (though I say it, that should not), I know they 
like me and would do anything for me; and all 
officers who treat soldiers like men with the same 
feelings as their own, and take an interest in their 
welfare, find they do not see much insubordination 
nor want many courts-martial. Yet I sm very strict 
with my men, but they soon get accustomed to this. 
About ten o'clock I read by the light of my first 
bivouac fire Psalms xxiii., xc, and xci., with Captain 
Ingram, and derived great comfort and peace from 
them. One of my brother officers came up to warm 
himself while I was reading, and begged me to go on 
(not that I had any intention of stopping). God 
grant that he may soon find i a dwelling in the secret 
place of the Most High,' even in the heart of the Lord 
Jesus ; and be able to say, ' The Lord is my Shep- 
herd, I will not fear what man can do unto me.' 
Eesting on Jesus, my precious Saviour, I went to 
sleep securely. My bed was made of dry leaves, with 
a stone for the pillow, and but for the biting cold, 1 
should have slept like a top. 

The regiment fell in at daybreak. We had a fine 
view of the surrounding country. Encamped on our 
right was the brigade of Highlanders, their tents 
stretching away on the heights above us. Beneath 



216 WINTEE BEFOEE SEBASTOPOL. 

lay the burial-ground, in which the Turkish soldiers 
were continually burying their dead. Far away in 
our front was the plain with the battery beyond, in 
endeavouring to take which the Light Cavalry suffered 
so fearfully. Through our telescopes we could see 
the Russians moving about like bees. Our lines are 
very extensive and naturally strong, all the country 
around being hilly. I took a stroll into the country, 
and enjoyed the First Epistle to the Thessalonians, 
sitting in the dry bed of a mountain torrent. From 
the top of a mountain range covered with brushwood 
I had a fine view of the cavalry encampment. 

" In the afternoon I walked into Balaklava, a 
miserable place, the streets indescribably dirty. Many 
British, French, Turkish, and Tartar soldiers were 
moving about in all directions. I saw several men of 
the Guards looking very different to the appearance 
they present in St James's Square, with unwashed 
faces, tattered coats, and trousers patched with red 
and gray. Dead cattle were lying by the wayside, 
and others were quietly dying. The condition of the 
once beautiful horses of the Scots Greys was such, 
that a butcher would have been ashamed to be seen 
driving one in his cart. 

" Our things are still at Balaklava, and so are the 
stores ! But my servant managed to get a piece of 
bullock for my subaltern and myself, on which we 
fared sumptuously. 



WINTER BEFOEE SEBASTOPOL. ' 217 

" In the night we heard a sharp firing of musketry ; 
it lasted some time, relieved occasionally by the 
booming of artillery. Next day we heard that Lieu- 
tenant Tryon and fifteen men of the Bine Brigade had 
been killed in a brush with the enemy's advanced 
picquets. However, our fellows completely defeated 
them and took their position. 

" On the morning of the 22d we received the order 
to march for the lines before Sebastopol, and came in 
sight of the white tents of the French and English, 
after a rough march of seven miles. Vestiges of war 
were to be seen all along the road. Ten dead horses 
were laid in one place side by side, and the ground 
was strewn with shell and round shot. The Zouaves 
turned out as we passed their camp, and cheered us 
most vociferously. We returned the cheer with as 
hearty a goodwill, and soon after reached our ground. 
The tents were soon pitched, and, although very wet, 
I never slept more soundly in my life. We were 
scarcely settled, when the rolling of cannon from 
Sebastopol and the French and English batteries 
began, and I may say that ever since they have been 
going at it continually. 

" On the morning of the 25th I walked up the hill 
in our front, and had a fine view of the magnificent 
fortress and harbour of Sebastopol. I could clearly 
see the masts in the water across the mouth of the 
harbour, where the Bussians have sunk their men-of- 



218 WINTER BEFOEE SEBASTOPOL. 

war. Whilst admiring the place, a cannon ball from 
one of their batteries whizzed past my ear. I was 
afterwards told that the Russians think nothing of 
firing shell and round-shot when they see even one 
of our fellows. This seems to me like a sportsman 
going out to shoot snipe with a rifle ! The weather 
has been very stormy , and our poor men are dying 
fast from cholera, brought on by exposure and want 
of warm clothing. We have already buried about 
twenty-two in four days, and a great number are in 
hospital. 

" The duty has been very severe in the trenches, 
distant about three miles from our camp. I was in 
them from five in the afternoon till five the next 
morning, and also on out-lying picquet the whole of 
the following night, sleeping in the open air, with a 
few bushes over me. I could hear the tolling of a 
great bell in Sebastopol, and the voices of the Russians 
working at their fortifications, as plainly as could be. 
On the night of the 27th I took a prisoner who was 
prowling about, fully believing I had hold of a live 
Russian ; but on examining him by daylight he 
turned out to be only a Turkish soldier ! their long 
light-gray coats are so much like the Russians. No 
hope of l cataracts ' now. Indeed for a day or two I 
had not water enough to fill a bath for a midge ! But 
yesterday I got a pint to wash my face and hands 
with ; for sorely they needed it. We have nothing to 



WINTER BEFORE SEBASTOPOL. 219 

complain of in the way of rations. I get one pound 
of salt pork and as much biscuit as I can eat every 
day. The other day my subaltern and a party of 
men gave chase to a young bullock close to the Rus- 
sian lines. They caught him, and we made a capital 
dinner off part of him this afternoon. 

" We are all anxiously waiting for Lord Raglan to 
storm Sebastopol ; for, though we must lose many in 
doing it, yet anything would be better than seeing 
our fine soldiers dying as they are daily. What 
should be done is to go at it at once, without more 
dilly-dallying ! 

" I have not seen a clergyman or a missionary yet. 
How I should enjoy meeting one who would talk to 
the men simply about the Cross of Christ ! The Holy 
Ghost always blesses such preaching. We have 
meetings in my tent for Scripture-reading as often as 
we can get together, and delightful seasons they are." 

" December 1st. 
u I have just returned from another night in the 
trenches. The rain is descending in torrents. Last 
night, whilst standing opposite an embrasure, serving 
out to my men their allowance of grog, a shell whizzed 
over my head within a foot. The men made a most 
humble salaam, but I soon got them on their legs 
again, by threatening to withhold the spirits. The 
enemy gave us a few more shots, one of which hit 



220 WINTEE BEFOEE SEBASTOPOL. 

the ground so near as to send the gravel into my 
face. 

" The accounts of the Russians killing our wounded 
officers and men are too true, — confirmed by all here. 
Poor Sir Robert Newman was left wounded on the 
ground during the temporary retreat of his regiment, 
the Grenadier Guards ; when they returned, he was 
found stabbed through the head and body in several 
places. 

" I saw the rude tablet erected over his grave at 
Balaklava. These words are engraved on it, — l And 
I say unto you, my friends, Be not afraid of them 
that kill the body, and after that have no more that 
they can do. But I will forewarn you whom ye shall 
fear : Fear Him which after He hath killed, hath 
power to cast into hell, yea, I say unto you, Fear 
Him.' (Luke xii. 4, 5.) 

" We all hope soon to have an opportunity of 
thrashing these savages, and have not a doubt we 
shall do so when we come across them. 

" I am sorry to hear of the Romish nurses being 
sent to Scutari to attend promiscuously upon Eoman 
Catholics and Protestants. I know enough of Popery 
to dread its artifices. I pray God to prevent them 
from turning away, to other mediators, any dying eyes 
from a dying Saviour. 

" In the trenches, the other day, one of our men 
amused us much. At the first shell which passed 



WINTER BEFORE SEBASTOPOL. 221 

close to him, he dropped down on his back, screaming 
aloud for a doctor, for he was i kilt entirely.' The 
doctor ran up to him, and asked him where he had 
been hit, when he exclaimed, l Och, och, doctor ! clane 
through the blanket ! ! ' 

" I have the tent to myself to-night, Brinkley being 
on duty in the trenches. It is curious what delight- 
ful dreams I have every time I fall asleep : now I am 
at Terling, surrounded by all your beloved faces ; then 
again at Beckenham, with those I love so dearly ; at 
another time I am going to read to old Sophy • again, 
sitting by the blazing fire in the drawing-room, telling 
tales of the war to dear John ; and awake to find my 
teeth chattering in my head, a sharp stone sticking 
into my side, the wind howling in gusts and squalls, 
and a concert of cannon and small shot, with varia- 
tions from English, French, Turkish, and Eussian 
performers, instead of a chant in the hall. 

" It is stated that 20,000 French have landed at 
Eupatoria, and, as a set off to this, that 30,000 more 
Eussians have entered the Crimea; but, whatever 
their numbers may be, with God's help, we are sure 
to beat them. They surprised us at Inkermann, but 
yet we repulsed them with great slaughter ; the British 
bayonet settled the business ; they fight well though ; 
in that battle it was a regular hand-to-hand encoun- 
ter. A Sergeant of the Scots Fusilier Guards told 
me that he saw a Guardsman and a Eussian both 



222 WINTER BEFOEE SEBASTOPOL. 

dead, with each other's bayonets transfixed in their 
bodies. Campbell, a young officer of the 30th, who 
was in the 97th at Canterbury, had four or five balls 
in his clothes ; one of them took off the tail of his red 
. coat, in which was his purse, containing nine pounds ! 
The night before last, one of my beautiful dreams 
was dispelled by a shaking of my tent, and in an- 
swer to ( Who is there ?' I received the reply, l Please, 
Sir, a staff-officer has just ridden into the camp to bid 
us be ready at a moment's notice ; the Russians are 
moving on our right flank.' l All right,' said I, and 
commending myself to my Heavenly Father, fell fast 
asleep again, knowing I was all ready for a moment's 
notice. However, we heard no more of it. While I 
write, musketry is hard at work and cannon roaring. 
Our fellows say the Russian cheer is a pitiful whine, 

very unlike the British war-shout ! I am so 

glad to hear you had such a pleasant visit from 

and . They write with so much love and affec- 
tion of you, dearest sister, that I love them more than 
ever. I trust we shall yet have many happy meet- 
ings of our united families in this world ; but if God 
wills it otherwise, we cannot, after all, be long sepa- 
rated. 

" I often feel sad and low when I think of dearest 

, for I fear that he has not yet been reconciled to 

God through the blood of the everlasting covenant. 
If I am to die in this war, it would soothe my last 



WINTEE BEFOEE SEBASTOPOL. 223 

hours were an angel to whisper that he was safe — safe 
for time and for eternity. If he once tasted how good 
and gracious the Lord is, and felt in his own soul the 
safety, confidence, and peace of abiding in Jesus, all 
worldly pleasures would lose their charm for him. 
Give my best love to our dearest mother. Oh, how 
my heart yearns for one more embrace ! 

" It is with difficulty I manage to scrape together 
time and materials for writing. My best love to dear 
Edward when you see him, and to dear Lord Ray- 
leigh. May God bless him in body and soul. My 
love also to dear aunt Caroline, my darling godson, 
and all the children, and don't forget old Sophy, Mrs 
Aves, and Mrs Richardson. — Ever, my own darling 
Clara, your most affectionate and deeply-attached 
brother, 

" Hedley." 

All his letters were written in the highest spirits 
on first landing in the Crimea. The " escape from a 
winter of being quietly shelved in the Pirreus," as he 
expressed it, to the centre of the scene of action, the 
necessity for constant activity, and the calling forth 
to the uttermost of his early love of adventure, " dearer 
for danger," all combined to increase his buoyant 
tone. u It is no use doing things by halves," he 
wrote on the 2d of December, " we must go at it ham- 
mer and tongs! The men are dispirited, naturally 



224 WINTER BEFORE SEEASTOPOL. 

enough, by losing so many of their comrades from 
cholera. I can answer for it they would soon cheer 
up if they were led against the Russians." 

To his second sister he writes by the same mail, 
" The rain is pouring in torrents, but I have this 
night been in bed, for a wonder, so I shall have a lit- 
tle time to dry ; but I pity the poor fellows in the 
trenches — 200 men of ours and 700 of other regiments. 
The men of all the British regiments are dying in 
numbers every day, and many are buried without 
any funeral service. We are now, to mend matters, 
placed on half rations ; but I was never much of an 
epicure, so I am quite contented with what they give 
me. Indeed, I have no patience with fellows who 
are always grumbling. Our hardships certainly are 
very great, but as soldiers we ought to bear them 
without a murmur. Many officers, I hear, are now 
resigning their commissions. I can only say, shame 
on those who desert their country in her time of need. 
We all made a great mistake in not bringing warm 
clothing with us here. I did buy a comforter though, 
which is more than most fellows can say. Thank 
Q-od I am very well, and in high spirits, only hoping 
that Lord Raglan will soon let us try our hand on 
the Russians." 

But this soldier-like letter does not close without 
an expression of his deeper feelings : — " If even now," 
he writes, after alluding to the distractions of the 



WINTER BEFOSE SEBASTOPOL. 225 

scenes around him, "when sin clings to us hour by 
hour, and the world with its passing interests so often 
obscures the pardoning cross from our eyes, we yet 
love the very name of Jesus, how much more in 
heaven shall our renewed natures rejoice when we be- 
hold the Lord of glory and sit down in the mansions 
He has prepared for us ! Oh, then, precious sister, 
from whom I may soon be parted here, eemember 
Jesus, and never be ashamed to confess Christ cruci- 
fied ! Jesus has bled for us, has redeemed us, has 
saved us. Oh, let us not cause His once-wounded 
heart to bleed again for us, but, looking for heavenly 
aid, let us seek never to grieve Him more.' , 

On landing in the Crimea, his heart was cheered 
by finding a packet of letters which had been accu- 
mulating for three weeks or more. " I had begun to 
fear before I left the Piraeus," he wrote in another let- 
ter, " that something was wrong ; but you would 
have felt with me that it was worth while to have 
had the suspense, if you could have seen me whilst I 
was reading those precious letters on my arrival here 
(besides my budget from Terling). My heart and 
arm are nerved now, and I am utterly indifferent to 

hardships or external trials of any kind It is 

six months since I have been within reach of a house 
of prayer, or have had the opportunity of receiving 
the Sacrament; yet never have I enjoyed more fre- 
quent or precious communion with my Saviour than 

P 



226 WINTER BEFOEE SEBASTOPOL. 

I have found in the trenches or in my tent. When, 
I should like to know, could one find a Saviour more 
precious than when bullets are falling around like 
hail?" 

Ten days later he gives an account of "such a 
happy Sabbath/' and speaks of his thankfulness in 
receiving the sacrament of the Lord's Supper after 
having been so long deprived of it : — " I am delighted 
to say we had twenty officers there. I like what I 
have seen of the chaplain to our division, Mr Parker, 
very much. He has hard work, indeed, but seems to 
love it, because it is the service of Christ Jesus." 

In the warmth of new friendships he did not for- 
get old and sacred ties, as the following extract will 
prove : — 

" My vert dear Dr Twining, — I have only time 
to write you a few lines, as I have but small leisure 
here. I write for two reasons — first to thank you once 
again for the great blessing you have been to my soul. 
Words cannot express how deeply grateful I am. 
You have been, in the hands of God, the means of 
bringing me from the hard service of Satan to the 
delightful service of Jesus ; and at this time, when any 
moment I may be called hence, I wish once more to 
offer to you my heart's most fervent thanks. God 
bless you, and fill you with peace and joy ! May the 
Cross of Christ ever speak comfort to your soul, and 



WINTER BEFORE SEBASTOPOL. 227 

may you find in the day of the Lord Jesus that you 
have been the blessed means of bringing many to 
Him." 

TO MISS VICARS. 

u December 12. 

" I am for the trenches to-morrow morning at three 
o'clock (I shall be relieved at six o'clock in the even- 
ing). I think more of the pouring rain and standing 
in thick mud all the time, than of Russian grape and 
bullets; but, you see, we must be content to have 
both ! You will be sorry to hear that sickness is still 
prevalent, and I am afraid this rain, which began 
again yesterday after three days of fine weather, will 
fill the hospitals. Two officers and forty poor fellows 
were sent down to Balaklava yesterday for the re- 
covery of their health. It was pitiable to see them. 
Few, if any, will ever return. I saw them off yester- 
day morning ; some wept as they wished me good- 
bye. They were so delighted to get the tracts and 
Testaments I had brought with me, that they began 
reading them aloud as soon as I put them into their 
hands. 

" We have been living like princes lately. I sent 
my servant the other day to Balaklava to forage for 
me, and he returned with onions, potatoes, a ham, 
bread, and (would you believe it?) a case of salt 
butter! You may imagine what a dinner we had, 



228 WINTER BEFORE SEBASTOPOL. 

and with what excitement we opened the tin of butter ; 
but our faces did not look so jolly when our noses 
proclaimed that it was rancid ! However, I managed 
to eat it, nevertheless. I have been praised by the 
Colonel more than once for the state my company is 
in, so I am as happy as possible, except for the daily 
diminishing ranks of my poor regiment. 

" Dec. 18. — I am, thank God, quite well — never bet- 
ter, and what is more, clean ! You know my weak- 
ness for 'cataracts.' Well, I have contrived to get 
one every day for nearly three weeks; but then I 
take more pains to get water for myself than most of 
the fellows. I dined to-day off soaked biscuit fried 
with lard — a capital dish ; boiled ration pork, very 
good; potatoes, middling; with mustard and salt, — 
my wine being weak rum and water. I am sure 
drinking spirits is a bad plan, and, besides being in- 
jurious, makes a man colder than ever an hour after- 
wards. Each officer and man is allowed a gill of 
rum daily, but I never drink even the half of mine, 
often none at all. I went on picquet this morning at 
half-past four o'clock with fifty men ; it rained hard 
for about an hour, the remainder of the night being 
fine. I kept up a jolly fire all through, and endea- 
voured to write a letter to darling mother whilst 
seated opposite its blaze, but I could only get fitful 
gleams, not bright enough to see to write, so I had soon 
to give up. I read the First Epistle of Peter, and 



WINTER BEFORE SEBASTOPOL. 229 

then, folding my cloak around me and stretching my- 
self close by the watch-fire, I was sound asleep in ten 
minutes, notwithstanding the roar of cannon and rattle 
of musketry, which kept up a concert during the 
night. 

" Thank you, my own darling Mary, for your last 
dear and affectionate letter. It affected me almost to 
tears, with its deep tone of sisterly love. Strange 
would it be if I did not love you fondly in return. 
You say my letters always ' cheer and invigorate 
you.' Surely I may say the same, if not more, of 
yours." 

All this time the Prayer-meetings were continued 
in his tent at every opportunity j and, wearied and 
worn as he was after nights on picquet or in the 
trenches, frequently before he rested he was found in 
the hospital tent. u In weariness and painfulness, in 
watchings often," he became u in labours more abun- 
dant," and his work of love carried with it its own 
reward, even at the time, as we learn from his letter 
of the 15th of December, besides the blessed remem- 
brance of the promise for the future, " Verily I say 
unto you, a cup of cold water given in my name shall 
in no wise lose its reward." 

" Camp before Sehastopol, Dec. 15. 
" On picquet the other night I was looking up at 



230 WINTER BEFORE SEBASTOPOL. 

the bright moon and stars, thinking of the power and 
love of Him who made them, and of the star in the 
East which l came and stood where the young child 
lay/ and the Saviour's sorrows and sufferings from 
Bethlehem to Calvary passed in review before my 
mind. . . . This afternoon, whilst speaking to 
our poor fellows in the cholera hospital, who were 
lying cold and comfortless on the bare ground, rays of 
sunshine seemed to illumine that charnel tent as I 
brought the crucified Saviour before those men, for 
tears glistened in many an eye, and the smile of hope 
and peace was on many a lip. I feel it to be indeed 
a pleasure and a privilege to talk to my sick comrades 
and fellow-sinners of Jesus ; and I am sure that they 
who never visit the suffering and dying deprive them- 
selves of the deepest happiness this life affords. It is 
painful, often heartrending, to witness agony we can- 
not alleviate ; to see the distorted face and hear the 
cry of anguish of friends and comrades. But it is 
sweet to be the bearer to them of glad tidings of joy 
and peace through the great Bedeemer's atonement 
and love ; and to see some of them gently falling 
asleep murmuring the life-restoring name of Jesus. 
/ have seen these, and I cannot find words to tell the 
delight of hope which has then filled my breast. . . . 
The weather, which has been for three or four days 
fine and frosty, is now again damp and rainy ; but I 
have got a pretty good tent, and the rain that does 



WINTER BEFORE SEBASTOPOL. 231 

find its way through the roof, is capital for drink- 



ins: ! 



" Yon will he glad to hear that precious little book 
of hymns was a great comfort to one of my sick 
brother officers, Major Colville. I went to see him 
the night before last, and read him two or three. He 
seemed much delighted with them. Poor fellow ! he 
was sent down yesterday to Balaklava. I do not 
expect to see him again in this world.* 

" We are expecting every day to meet the enemy 
in open field or to storm the fortress. I wish they 
could go at it, at once. Be not anxious about me. 
I am safe in the arms of my Saviour — I feel it, I 
know it — in life or in death. 

u Dec. 16, 17. — I have only returned about half an 
hour from the trenches of the advanced work, where 
we have been since half-past four o'clock this morn- 
ing. The rain poured in torrents all night. We 
turned out in the midst of it (three officers and 200 
men), and started for the rendezvous, where detach- 
ments from the several regiments assemble, previous 
to marching off together for the trenches. We had 
to ford two mountain torrents, which considerably 
damped our feet and legs, if not our ardour ! When 
we reached the ground, the rest had gone on ; so we 
followed as well as we could, tumbling in the mud at 

* This amiable and excellent officer died at Scutari shortly afterwards, 
regretted by the whole regiment. 



232 WINTER BEFORE SEBASTOPOL. 

every step. We arrived at last opposite the 21-gun 
battery (Gordon's), and the rain having suddenly 
changed to snow, we presented rather a wintry ap- 
pearance as we entered the covered way. This was, 
in parts, knee-deep in mud, through which we plodded, 
not without great exertion. As we cleared the way, 
we passed a poor fellow of the 77th Eegiment, lying 
on the bank, wounded in the shoulder, and soon after 
we encountered a sharp fire of musketry, and a spent 
bullet struck me in the left side, but without doing 
me the slightest harm, thank God. I offered up a 
short prayer of gratitude and praise to my Heavenly 
Father who had thus preserved me. We lined the 
trench without any casualty, but the weather was so 
bleak and cold that we were obliged to walk about to 
keep ourselves warm, regardless of the bullets which 
kept flying about our ears like bees. A marine was 
mortally hit in the breast soon after, and I saw the 
poor fellow carried past on a stretcher. He died in 
less than half an hour. As one of my men was 
walking up and down close to the rampart, a minie 
ball hit him behind the ear. He fell on his side, and 
died without a groan. I buried him at dusk outside 
the trench. Poor Kobert Turton ! sudden and awful 
was thy death. What and where were thy last 
thoughts as death met thee in that short walk ? The 
Russian sentries did not molest us whilst we were 
digging the grave, although they must have heard us 



WINTER BEFORE SEBASTOPOL. 233 

quite distinctly. We can hear them talking and 
coughing at their works. 

" Dec. 17. — Another of my company died this 
afternoon. The regiment has now lost about sixty 
since we came here, and other regiments are losing 
in like proportion. There is great talk now about 
our soon going ahead to storm. I trust they will not 
delay much longer. I do not care in the least for 
fatigue and hardship myself, but it is sad and pain- 
ful to lose one's comrades every day. Owing to the 
weather, we were unable to have Divine service to- 
day with the division, but several of us met together 
in the tent, and we shall again this evening, please 
God. 

u On my return from the trenches last night, I 
found great comfort in reading the first chapter of 
the First Epistle of Peter, although, as soon as I had 
finished it, I went off to sleep like a top ! The other 
night the Russians made a sortie on the French 
advanced batteries ; we were turned out, but our gal- 
lant allies drove them back without our assistance. 
We had, however, a good view of the firing, which 
was kept up with a thundering roar, the glare making 
the sky look like a scroll of fire ; it was kept up 
steadily for about two hours. 

" I have great hopes for some amongst our poor 
sick fellows just sent to Balaklava, that they have 
cast themselves on the mercy of God in Christ. They 



234 WINTER BEFORE SEBASTOPOL. 

were so earnest to be read and talked to about Jesus 
Christ, and delighted in the hearing of free pardon 
and salvation through the blood of His cross. 

" Forty have just been sent to Balaklava Hospital, 
out of our tents ; but we shall soon have their places 
filled, if this weather continues. I never saw the 
men of my regiment so eager for religious instruction 
as they are now. God grant them to be numbered 
among His saints in glory everlasting. 

" How glad I shall be to see the Soldiers' Mission- 
ary, Duncan Matheson ! It will refresh and cheer 
my soul. Oh, that there were many more labourers 
in this harvest ! Why are there not more Scripture- 
readers sent out ? They are grievously wanted here. 
I am so longing that every soldier, before he dies, 
should be told of Jesus, made acquainted with all He 
has done for him ; for many, I fear, are grossly igno- 
rant of the way of salvation. There are very few 
chaplains left in the Crimea now ; even if they all 
returned in health, it would be impossible for them to 
reach half the spiritual wants of the army. A staff 
of Scripture-readers would be invaluable to them, — 
men who would devote themselves to their work night 
and day." 

TO HIS YOUNGEST SISTER. 

"Dec. 21, 1854. 
"... How strange it seems to me now, the 



WINTER BEFORE SEBASTOPOL. 235 

years when I lived without a l Saviour near/ — a dark 
hideous blank ! Thank God, darling Georgie, to your 
dying day, that you have been early brought to the 
c feet of Jesus.' I am fully convinced that none have 
ever sinned more than I have against the God and 
Saviour who died to redeem me ; but with my sins 
in clear remembrance, I am yet washed in i the foun- 
tain opened for sin and uncleanness,' and ' looking 
unto Jesus,' I come i boldly unto the throne of grace 
that I my obtain mercy, and find grace to help in 
every time of need.' 

" ' Come boldly to the throne of grace, 
With all your wants and fears ; 
The Saviour's hand shall kindly chase 
Away the bitterest tears.' 

" And, trusting in the same kind and loving 
Saviour, ' mighty to save,' you too, dearest Georgie, 
can draw near with confidence, for l the blood of Jesus 
Christ cleanseth from all sin,' and an answer of peace 
you must and shall receive, for i The Lord is nigh 
unto all them that call upon Him.' Your prayers 
may appear at times to be no prayer at all, and at 
other seasons you may be tormented with vain and 
wandering thoughts ; your faith weak and wavering ; 
but, dearest sister, what then ? Every Christian has 
to endure trials of this kind; the promise is sure, 
1 He giveth power to the faint.' i They that wait 



236 WINTEE BEFOEE SEBASTOPOL. 

upon the Lord shall renew their strength. 7 In times 
of trouble, when everything seemed to be going against 
me, I have yet found the Cross of Jesus a sure refuge. 
What think you is it that sustains and supports me 
now, in the midst of all I have to endure, and 
with the knowledge that at any moment I may 
be summoned into the presence of God? Surely 
nothing but faith in a living Saviour. e I know 
that Jesus died and rose again,' and that He has 
made, what I never could have done myself, full 
atonement and satisfaction for sins. What then have 
I to fear ? 

" When I take mine eyes from the crucified 
Saviour, I tremble, and am without hope. Any 
other stay will prove but a bruised reed. I have had 
to endure something of the reproach of the cross, as in 
short all must and will, who follow the Lord Jesus 
Christ. But I feel sure this moment, whilst I write, 
if I had not been given a firm persuasion in my heart 
and mind of the sufferings once endured by Jesus on 
Calvary, and by Divine grace been led to behold Him 
as the Lamb of God, the Saviour of sinners, and there- 
fore of myself, I should long ere this have been the 
same, if not worse than in former years. 

" Your outward forms of religion, whether in the 
shape of Popery or Tractarianism, may change the 
visible conduct of a man, but only a dying Saviour 
received into the heart can ever change the soul, and 



WINTER BEFORE SEBASTOPOL. 237 

make it pure and fit, through the power of the Holy 
Ghost, to dwell hereafter with Christ, and to enjoy 
the holy pleasures of heaven. Let us not hesitate to 
bear the Cross daily. Think of Him who bore the 
Cross for you. i He was tempted in all points like 
as we are, although without sin.' . . . The 
glory of our religion is 7 Salvation through the blood 
of Jesus. 

" Ever, my own beloved and much prayed-for 
sister, 

" Your most attached and loving brother, 

" Hedley Vicars." 

11 Camp before Sebastopol, Dec. 22. 

" Thank you, dearest friend, for your affecting 
letter from Mrs Halkett's house. 

u I grieve much to say that there is no hope left 
now that dear Halkett * might be a prisoner in Se- 
bastopol ; but I believe he is in the presence of his 
God, clothed in the spotless robe of his Eedeemer's 
righteousness. The man who so loved the fourteenth 
of St John, has found it all true for him. I shall 

* Major Douglas Halkett, 4th Light Dragoons, who fell in the flower 
of his age, in the charge at Balaklava. His thoughtful and benevolent 
character had won for him the name of " father of his regiment." 
Brave as he was gentle, his gallant hearing was noticed, even amidst 
the fury of that death-charge. The last time he was seen, was on the 
field, fearfully wounded, holding out some bank-notes to his men, with 
the characteristic words, " Take them for the wives and widows at 
home." 



238 WINTEK BEFORE SEBASTOPOL. 

make the motto he chose for himself, my own ; and 
if I am to fall too, I hope I may die with it on my 
lips, — ' In God is my Salvation and my glory ; the 
Rock of my strength and my Refuge is in God.' 

" Give my love to his dear young wife ; and tell 
her I pray God to comfort her. Her message went 
to my heart, with its confidence in my regard for 
her beloved husband. I know not whether I could 
have l saved him,' but I would have carried him to 
the rear, or died in the attempt. I have prayed 
that Jesus Himself would comfort her ,• I know He 
will. 

" Yesterday I read with great comfort the third of 
Colossians, in the advanced work. I find Jesus more 
and more precious to my soul. 

" The nights are very cold now, and that dear fur 
rug, when it arrives, will be most acceptable indeed. 
I will not disguise from you the truth, that we have 
to endure days and nights of hardships ; but what 
are soldiers meant for ? I willingly submit to them, 
and would to greater. Yet I cannot but feel, and 
deeply too, for the death of so many of my comrades ; 
but I keep hope alive in my heart that many 
amongst them died in Jesus at the last. He is so 
tender and loving a Saviour, and so willing to hear 
poor sinners when they cry unto Him, that I believe 
He will not turn a deaf ear to the faintest sigh of a 
broken and contrite heart that may mount upwards 



WINTEE BEFORE SEBASTOPOL. 239 

to the mercy-seat, even from the soldier who has 
longest trampled on His love and forbearance. I 
cherish this hope, and will, as long as I live. 

" Whenever I am off duty, I visit the tents of the 
sick. They are full again, although forty were sent 
to Balaklava a few days ago. The weather is very 
wet and damp, with snow every now and then; 
but I am, thank God, as safe and sound as ever I 
was in my life. I feel persuaded that the Lord is 

keeping me for my L 's sake and yours, in answer 

to your prayers. 

" Bless you, my own mother, sister, friend, and 
counsellor, ever cheering and comforting my heart 
and soul. Give my warmest love to all around you, 
especially to your dearest, revered father. God bless 
him ; and God bless also the beloved father of her 
I love best on earth, for his tenderness and solicitude 
for his darling child, and at the same time for his 
kindness to me. 

u My love to your dear sister, Mrs Trench, and 
many thanks for her sweet hymn for Christmas-Day. 
Kemember me most kindly to Mr B. Is he yet able 
to look to Jesus as his Saviour and Redeemer? 
Where would be my happiness now, if I could not do 
so, through the grace of God ? " 

" Christmas-Dai/ , 1854. 
" I am for out-lying picquet in ten minutes, so I 



240 WINTER BEFORE SEBASTOPOL. 

have but just time to wish you a happy Christmas ; 
it is so bitterly cold I can scarcely hold my pen. 

" I have enjoyed the day as much as could be 
expected, and partook of the Sacrament this morning, 
with (thank God !) thirty others. 

" I received your precious letter of the 3d only a 
few minutes ago ; thank you much for it. 

" I trust the Protestant Members will speak out 
their minds, or rather those of their constituents, 
about the nuns, &c, when Parliament assembles. I 
feel very anxious about it. 

" I hope you have received the letters which I 
write by every mail, such as they are. 

" May our Father, the ? Father of all mercies,' keep 
us ever l looking unto Jesus' our Saviour." 



CHAPTEE X. 



" Jesus in his heart, 
Heaven in his eye, 
And the world beneath his feet.' 



" The dawn of another life broke o'er his earthly horizon, as in the 
eastern sky the first faint streak of the morning." 



A PAKAGKAPH in the public press, early in the month 
of January 1855, conveyed the first intelligence that 
three officers had been found dead in their tents, from 
the effect of the fumes of charcoal, and that another 
was hanging between life and death. That other was 
Hedley Vicars. 

He had returned to his tent chilled and weary, 
after a wild and snowy night in the trenches. Before 
throwing himself on his miserable bed of leaves and 
stones, he told his servant, as it was intensely cold, to 
make a small fire of charcoal in a dish, and to leave 
the door of the tent partially open, imagining that 
this would secure him from any injurious effect. 

Providentially he was for out-lying picquet that 
afternoon. His servant, who had several times vainly 
endeavoured to awaken him, at last became alarmed, 
and went for the surgeon ; he found him returning 
from the tent of another officer of the 97th, for whom, 
alas ! his aid had come too late ! 

Hedley was carried into the open air, and laid on 



244 THE DAY-STAR RISES. 

the snow. His men stood round him, wringing their 
hands. Eagerly as brothers, tenderly as mothers, 
some assisted the medical officer in chafing with snow 
the body of him they loved, in the hope of restoring 
vitality. At length, after the severer measures of 
blistering and bleeding had been resorted to, con- 
sciousness returned. He was spared for a nobler 
end, to fulfil his own choice, — " As a soldier I will 
die!" 

Three mails arrived in England, without any tidings 
of him, — a time, it need scarcely be said, of heart- 
sickening suspense to those who loved him ; it was 
like life from the dead when tidings of his recovery 
came, in his own handwriting. A serious illness had 
followed the accident. During its continuance the 
kindest attentions were lavished on him both by 
officers and men, and he was nursed with devoted 
tenderness by Lieutenant Douglas Macgregor, with 
whom of late his friendship had been ripening into an 
affection almost brotherly. 

With reference to his preservation, he thus writes, 
after a short account of the circumstances : — 

" January 8, 1855. 

u How I thank God that no one but myself slept in 

my tent that night ; and surely I have cause to praise 

Him for His goodness in snatching me from the jaws 

of death. My first impulse, after raising my heart in 



THE DAY-STAR EISES. 245 

gratitude to that God who had preserved me, was to 
see whether my little picture was safe at my heart ; 
it was there. I took a long, long look at the sweet 
face of her whose love has made summer of my 
gloomy winter; and thanked God again for having 
spared my life. 

" January 12. — I have just returned from a night 
in the trenches, having come off the sick list yester- 
day morning. Last Sunday I was unable to leave 
my tent, hut I had happy communion with Jesus in 
my solitude, and derived much pleasure from the 
fourteenth and fifteenth of St John. How true is the 
peace of mind that cleaving to Christ brings to a 
man ! There is nothing like it in this world. How 
could I be happy now, if I had not the assurance that 
I have a Saviour in heaven, whose precious blood was 
once shed for me, and who now ever liveth to make 
intercession for me ? I find more and more every 
day how little I can depend upon the feelings of my 
own heart towards Him ; but my constant comfort is, 
that Jesus Christ is ' the same yesterday, to-day, and 
for ever.' 

" We are still on the heights before Sebastopol, but 
there we seem to be at a stand-still. Every-day 
reports are rife that something great is intended ; but 
the days pass by, and nothing is done. Meanwhile 
the men are suffering much, chiefly from the difficulty 
of procuring firewood, — never plentiful, but now 



246 THE DAY-STAR EISES. 

scarcely to be got at, on account of the snow ; and yet 
they bear up nobly under all their privations (which 
are far worse than those of their officers), and scarcely 
a murmuring word ever falls from their lips. The 
warm clothing has at length arrived, so the army is 
better off now in that respect. 6000 French troops 
reached the camp last week. They are close to us, — 
all such lively, cheery fellows, although their tents 
are even worse than ours, and their dress is very thin 
and light. 

" January 26. — Owing to the rapidly-decreasing 
numbers of the British army, the duty in the trenches 
is now very severe. But whenever I feel inclined to 
repine, I turn my eyes to the sufferings of my Ee- 
deemer on Calvary, and soon forget my hardships, 
or count them as nothing. The day before yesterday, 
when I was in the trenches, I seated myself on a gun- 
carriage, and read with great comfort the first of Ephe- 
sians. My thoughts dwelt chiefly on those few 
cheering words, l accepted in the Beloved.' Oh, 
what a healing balm there is here for a weary, heavy- 
laden sinner ! How I long to have my heart ever 
alive to the soul- wants of my fellow-sinners, and to 
be unceasing in my exertions to win them to Jesus 
through the mighty power of the Holy Spirit ! I am 
much better, but have not got back my strength. 
During my illness I was very happy, but for some 
days past my heart has seemed cold and dead. Yet 



THE DAY-STAR EISES. 247 

I trust brighter hours are again dawning on my soul. 
What a lonely, gloomy time it is when Jesus with- 
draws the light of His countenance ; but at all times I 
can and do trust in His love and tenderness ; and I 
feel persuaded He is in mercy sending me this trial of 
faith to draw me nearer to himself. 

" I have met Captain Vandeleur, of the Artillery, 
two or three times since I last wrote, and most de- 
lightful have those meetings been. My spirit has 

been refreshed by them He is coming 

to our camp every Sunday for prayer and Scripture- 
reading. Yesterday was the Sabbath, and I enjoyed 
it much. I prayed with the sick in hospital, and dis- 
tributed several of the prayers. The poor fellows 
liked them so much ; many of them read them before 
I left the tent. Some of us met for prayer in the 
morning, during which time a heavy firing was kept 
up. This, no doubt, would have rather interrupted 
a congregation at home, but we are quite used to it 
now. 

u February 1. — The weather has been very fine the 
last three days. You cannot imagine in England 
what an influence this has on the spirits of all out 
here. I heard merry songs in the tents to-night. We 
expected an attack yesterday, but the enemy changed 
his mind. I had a very happy day notwithstand- 
ing." 



248 THE DAY-STAR RISES. 



TO HIS MOTHER, 



"My own dearest Mother, — I just take this 
hurried opportunity of writing you a few lines, to tell 
you that, thank God ! I am safe and well. The 
weather has been delightful for the last two or three 
days, although there has "been a sharp frost morning 
and evening. The warm clothing has arrived, so we 
are all jolly and comfortable. I have been very weak 
since my illness, and unable to write, otherwise you 
may be sure, dearest mother, I should not have kept 
silence so long. There is positively nothing stirring 
here. Strong firing is kept up at intervals ; but with 
this exception, one might really doubt whether we 
were in an enemy's country. The hospitals are still 
full, and many poor fellows die every week; but I 
trust we have seen the worst. The Chaplain of our 
Division has gone to England invalided, and there is 
no one to take his place, so we have no service for 
sick or well : but I mean to ask the Colonel whether 
I may read in the hospital next Sunday. You will 
be glad, precious mother, when I tell you that, al- 
though there have been cloudy seasons for my soul, I 
have generally been enabled to rely on the faithful- 
ness of Jesus ; and I find such comfort in looking 
only to Him and trusting in His intercession and 
atoning blood. Oh! darling mother, how lonely I 



THE DAY-STAR RISES. 249 

feel when Jesus withdraws himself from me, and 
leaves me for a time to myself; but those blessed 
words in Isaiah have often restored happiness to my 
soul — ' For a small moment I have forsaken thee, 
but with great mercies will I gather thee. In a little 
wrath I hid my face from thee for a moment, but 
with everlasting kindness will I have mercy on thee, 
saith the Lord thy Redeemer.' I enjoy the presence 
of Jesus often now, and when He is near me I feel 
happy and peaceful. May He become more precious 
to our souls each day, and may our hearts be changed 
gradually more and more after His likeness. 

" God bless and keep you all. Give my best love 
to my dear grandmother, and tell her I remember her 
in my prayers." 

¥ Sunday j February 11. 
" It is now eight o'clock, at night, and I take up 
my pen to write to one whose letters always arouse 
me to think less of self, and more of Jesus and of the 
many dying sinners around me. May His presence 
ever refresh your own soul, giving you an earnest of 
those bright joys which are at God's right hand for 
evermore. This day of rest has nearly closed. Alas ! 
there is but little perceptible difference between the 
Lord's-day and other days, here; and yet I love its 
return, and never feel so peaceful and joyous as on 
this heavenly day. Owing to the roughness of the 



250 THE DAY-STAR RISES. 

weather, there was no service for the Division; but 
some of ns met as usual in one of the tents, to raise 
our hearts in prayer and praise to our Heavenly 
Father. After the morning meeting, I went to read 
and pray with the sick in hospital, and to distribute 
your new supply of books and tracts (with those sent 
by the Miss Leycesters, for which thank them with 
my kindest regards), and the blessed cards of prayer, 
for which the poor fellows are most eager. Oh ! it is 
enough to make one's heart bleed to see, in one hospi- 
tal after another, men dying without any kind friend 
or faithful minister to direct their hearts to the words 
of heavenly mercy, to point them to Jesus, and to 
refresh their souls by the water of life. But I do and 
will hope that many who have gone to their last 
home from this dreary camp are now before the Lamb, 
clothed with white robes. It is so great a comfort to 
believe this, — and why should it not be true ? May 
not many a broken and contrite heart, drawn by a dying 
Saviour's love to make known its wants to Him, and 
to lean its hopes of pardon and eternal life on the 
blood of the Cross, have received the answer of peace 
direct from the mercy-seat (where, thank God ! Jesus 
ever pleads) — ' Enter thou into the joy of thy Lord.' 
u I hear much of a Chaplain at Balaklava — Mr 
Hayward — a man of devoted piety, who lives to win 
souls to Christ. He is universally respected and be- 
loved. 



THE DAY-STAR RISES. 251 

" I have now before me your letter of the 26th, 
with its mention of past distress and present thank- 
fulness to God for having spared my life. I could 
scarcely read it all, for tears. May God shower His 
best blessings upon each of you for all your love to 
me ! Will you tell all who have kindly prayed for 
me and given thanks for my preservation, in Becken- 
ham and elsewhere, that I am deeply grateful for 

their Christian love. How thankful I am that L 

heard it first from you, before she saw it in the 
1 Times.' 

" How uneasy you must have felt, when you read 
in that interesting soldier's letter, that he hoped God 
would accept his own sufferings and the sufferings of 
his blessed Saviour in atonement for his sins, when 
1 the blood of Jesus Christ cleanseth from all sin.' 
God grant he may see that the way to join the 
blessed company who are arrayed with white robes 
and palms in their hands, is to wash his robes and 
make them white in the blood of the Lamb. Oh ! may 
he and multitudes of the British army shew them- 
selves, in the last great fight, good soldiers of Jesus 
Christ, and conquer through Him who loved them, 
and died for them, and washed away their sins in His 
own precious blood. Although I have often cause to 
grieve for my backwardness and slothfulness in the 
cause of Christ, yet my heart yearns over the souls of 
those who have not fled to the cleansing fountain of 



252 THE DAY-STAR RISES. 

His blood for pardon and peace ; and often, on rising 
from my knees, I have felt so powerfully drawn by 
the love of Christ that I have been almost on the 
point of going out through the camp, to endeavour to 
impart to others the ground of my own peace and 
happiness. But then, too often, when face to face 
with those whom I know I shall meet at the last great 
day, has my courage failed and my tongue been silent. 
May God forgive me for the many times I have thus 
acted the coward, and been ashamed of Jesus, my 
dearest Friend, and Saviour, and King." 

" Late at night, February 16. — The camp is hushed 
in sleep, and nothing is to be heard save the occa- 
sional booming of artillery and rattle of musketry, or 
the rumbling of ammunition- waggons on their way to 
the batteries from Balaklava. I own to being rather 
tired after the duties of the day ; but were I an hun- 
dred times more so, I could not rest till I have writ- 
ten to you in answer to your two last most precious 
letters 

" You ask my opinion as to our prospects. Do not 
believe for a moment that I take the gloomy view of 
matters which so many of the newspapers take. No ! 
Although I have seen many a noble soldier laid low 
for ever, and regiments reduced to less than half their 
numbers by sickness since the 20th of last November, 
i" have no fear of the eventual result , by the help of God. 
The French have a large army in the Crimea (80,000 



THE DAY-STAR EISES. 253 

or 90,000 men), and more regiments arriving every 
week. And what with these and 12,000 British, we 
are well able to defeat any Knssian army MenschikofY 
or any of his generals may bring into the field against 
us. As to taking Sebastopol, that will be an affair of 
several months. But the warm weather will soon be 
coming now, and then day and night duty in the 
trenches will be rather good fun than otherwise. So 
cheer up, my own beloved friend and comforter. You 
have cheered us by telling us of the hope that a day 
of prayer is about to be granted. A great answer 
must and will follow ; for does not Jesus himself say, 
\ If (even) two of you shall agree on earth as touching 
anything they shall ask, it shall be done for them of 
my Father which is in heaven ? ' May God the Holy 
Spirit pour abundantly upon all who shall bend the 
knee on that day the spirit of grace and supplication ! 
" God bless you, dearest and best of all my earthly 
friends, for all your care for the bodily and spiritual 
comfort of me and my regiment. The two boxes sent 
in December have arrived, and their contents are in- 
valuable. How kind of that lady at Torquay to cut 
up her own fur cloak into chest-preservers for us sol- 
diers ! When they arrive, will it not be a sort of 
sacrilege to wear them? I should like to send my 
Christian love to her, and to those who meet with her 
to pray for us. Also, do not fail to give it to Mrs 
Harrington. Tell her the needle-books , with scissors. 



254 THE DAT-STAR KISES. 

&c, will be capital presents. I cordially appreciate 
her sympathy for us in not calling it by the good old 
name of ' housewife, 1 which would indeed have been a 
mockery of the miseries of a camp. .... I am 
afraid one of my late letters, written rather in a de- 
sponding frame of mind (partly arising, perhaps, from 
a good deal of exertion whilst I was still very weak), 
will distress and make you anxious. I would not 
willingly cause you one moment's pain or uneasiness. 
I am now quite well and strong again, thank God ! 
and full of peace and joy in my soul. 

" I had another visit this evening from Mortimer 
Lovell. The duties of private soldiers are so heavy 
now that I hardly thought he would have come here 
again so soon from his distant part of the camp ; and 
I don't believe he would, but for your blessed letters 
to him, which he had left behind with me, and I know 
Jwould have gone any distance rather than have lost 
one of them. I took him into my excavated abode, and 
we sat together by the fire for upwards of an hour. 
I really believe him to be now a true-hearted, humble- 
minded Christian. He told me of his having distri- 
buted the cards of prayer and tracts which I gave him 
to the patients in the hospital tents, and that they 
were very glad to get them. He said that he often 
went to read by the bedside of the sick and dying, 
and he considered it a privilege to do so. We read 
the first chapter of the First Epistle of St Peter, and 



THE DAY-STAR EISES. 255 

prayed together before parting. He said he had 
Christian fellowship with a man named Bush in his 
regiment, whom he believes to be walking with God. 
He was one of your navvies of Beckenham. Of 
course you hear from him sometimes; but a testi- 
mony of this sort ; not intended for you ; is very satis- 
factory." 

" Sunday night, 18th. — This has been a bright and 
happy day, in every sense of the words. We had 
divine service (as usual in fine weather) near the 
Guards 7 encampment, but the Chaplain was not there, 
so there was no sermon. We therefore had our little 
service in the tent soon afterwards, and a few of us 
read and prayed together again this evening. My 
mansion is much more comfortable for this purpose 
since I excavated it ; there is more room in it, and it 
is warmer. I have a fireplace now (what do you 
think of that ?) which only smokes two or three times 
a-day, a small chair I bought at Balaklava, a little 
table made out of the bottom of an old cask ; and as 
for my bed, with the depth of that fur I — why it is the 
envy of all who see it ! And, although others beat 
me in having bedsteads and double tents, I think my 
house now the most comfortable in the camp ; at all 
events, it will be when the candle-stove arrives. I 
shall never be in want of visitors then." 

" February 21. — One hurried line, to say the great 
box from Terling has arrived at length, including 



256 THE DAY-STAR EISES, 

yours and L 's. I cannot tell you what pleasure 

it gave me distributing the various things amongst 
the men, — they seemed so grateful and delighted ; 
and I am sure you will all have the blessings and 
prayers of many. Groups of them collected outside 
the tents to read the hymns and tracts tacked so 
enticingly to the comforters and cuffs. What will 
you say to my theft ? As Mr Huleatt is gone to 
Scutari, I took the warm flannels for the sick, which 
you had addressed to him, into my own possession, 
and carried them to the hospitals ; and if you had 
seen the grateful looks, it would have done your hearts 
good. 

" Give my best regards to your cousins, Mrs and 
Miss Austen, and thank them for their kind gifts for 
the men. And do not forget to tell the servants at 
the Eectory how much I valued their contributions 
(which quite affected me as I took them out for dis- 
tribution). Nares has sent me a box of useful articles, 
with several Testaments ; also a tin of ready-ground (!) 
coffee, which was highly acceptable. Little Kate's 
satisfactory present — of not warm, but hot stockings — 
truly amused me. May God bless the dear child and 
the sweet young sister who is so soon to leave 
England ! 

"Who do you think brought up with his own 
hands your last parcel of books and prayers ? Duncan 
Matheson ! He sat in my tent some time, and we 



THE DAY-STAR RISES. 257 

enjoyed sweet communion for nearly an hour, and, 
before leaving, he prayed with me. Surely it may be 
said of him, he is l a temple of the Holy Ghost. 5 I 
feel still the blessing of that visit in my soul." 

TO HIS MOTHER. 

" Camp before Sebastopol, Feb. 19, 1855. 

" My own darling Mother, — The long expected 
box has at length arrived, and its contents are now 
safely stowed away in my tent ; and as the various 
proofs of loving remembrance from you, dearest 
mother, and from darling Clara, Mary, Georgie, and 
the children, met my eyes, I was so much affected 
that I nearly cried. The things you have sent me 
are just what I wanted. 

il I intend distributing the comforters, &c, to my 
men, to-morrow ; and I shall let them know who sent 
them, that you and my darling sisters may not lose 
their prayers. Thank you, my own most precious 
mother, for your affectionate remembrance of your 
son. This has been a delightful day. I took a short 
walk with one of my brother officers, to have a look 
from the height near which the Guards are encamped, 
rather to the right of us, at the valley of the Tcher- 
naya. Seldom have I seen a more beautiful view. 
The valley extends three or four miles across, from 
our advanced posts to the Kussian position on the 
opposite side. It is partly under water now, but the 

R 



258 THE DAY-STAR RISES. 

enemy do not trust to that to prevent our making a 
nearer acquaintance with them, for I could plainly 
perceive, through a glass, a Cossack vidette on the 
look-out near the stream, and I believe swarms of 
them occasionally come down into the plain. 

" As I gazed on the magnificent scenery, on the 
wildness and grandeur of the distant lofty and snow- 
capped mountains, giving an additional charm to the 
surrounding loveliness, all around was so still and 
calm, that my thoughts wandered to more peaceful 
climes, and to that not far distant day, when Jesus 
shall return to this beautiful, although sin-marred 
world, when wars shall cease for ever, and love and 
holiness fill the breasts of His redeemed people. Oh ; 
dearest mother, there are times when I long for this 
final consummation of all things. What a blessed 
thing it will be to serve Christ, with a heart wholly 
renewed and made like unto His, when sin can no 
more afflict us with its presence, or bow us down 
under its intolerable burden. But it is not always 
thus that my soul longs and pants for that great 
advent of my glorious and precious Saviour. Oh that 
I were ever waiting and ready to welcome Him, on His 
triumphant return to a world, where once ' He took 
upon Him the form of a servant/ to redeem and save 
sinners ! 

" May He give me grace to bear His cross, and to 
follow Him daily, be the way smooth or rough, I 



THE DAY-STAR KISES. 259 

have often reason to grieve that my love for my 
Saviour is so small. But then His love i passeth 
knowledge;' and in looking unto Him, and taking 
refuge at His cross, I find sure safety, rest, and peace. 
" On my return to my tent, who should I find there 
hut Mr Duncan Matheson, the soldiers' missionary 
from Balaklava. He remained with me for about an 
hour, and I do not think I ever enjoyed a more 
heavenly conversation than with this man of God. 
We read the third chapter of Ephesians, and he 
prayed with me. When he left, I saw that three of 
my brother officers were standing close by ; they must 
have heard that fervent prayer. Who knows but 
that one of them may be led to pray for himself to- 
night ; God grant it ! One of those three said to me 
the other day, when I was in his tent, l Vicars, I 
dreamt about you the other night, and I thought you 
were speaking to me about religion.' l Well, did you 
like it ? ' I said. i Yes, very much,' he replied. May 
the Lord give me courage to speak faithfully and ear- 
nestly, and bless my feeble words to his soul's good, 
for Jesus' sake." 

TO LADY RAYLEIGH. 

ct Camp before Sebastopol, Feb. 23, 1855. 
"My own most beloved Sister, — A thousand 
thanks for the welcome presents of warm clothing, 
&c. we have at length received. Everything I have 



260 THE DAY-STAR EISES. 

yet seen, is just what I wanted, even to the marma- 
lade from darling little Clara, and Dick's and Charley's 
gifts. How kind of dear Edward to think of getting 
a fur-coat for me ! I shall write to him as soon as it 
reaches me safe and sound. I told the men to whom 
they were chiefly indebted for them, and doubt not 
you will have the prayers of many grateful hearts 
offered up for you. I shall write to dearest Mary and 
Georgie by the next mail, to thank them for their 
share in the gifts. All my company are now, thanks 
to your kindness, well supplied with everything re- 
quisite to keep out the cold, and as the long boots for 
the troops have at last been issued, we are in want of 
nothing. How nice of the villagers to work for the 
Terling soldiers ! Many thanks for the books you 
sent me. We were much in want of sermons for our 
Sunday tent-services. I have already read several 
pages of Mr Walker's memoir, and like it exceedingly. 
Oh ! that I had, like him, more of the ' mind that 
was in Christ Jesus ; ' that the motive of my every 
action were love to Jesus, and a desire to promote His 
glory and hasten His kingdom ! I want to forget 
self j and ever to bear in mind that I have been bought 
with a price, that I should glorify God in my body 
and my spirit, which are His. I want to have more 
zeal and energy in the Redeemer's cause, and greater 
love for the souls He died to save ; and whilst thus 
labouring in the vineyard of the Lord, I want to have 



THE DAY-STAR RISES. 261 

a stronger and more realising faith in the blood of the 
Cross; to be l clothed with humility/ that I may never 
rest upon anything I can do, "but ever, as a lost and 
miserable sinner, look to Jesus alone for salvation. 
May He be ' formed in us/ the only i hope of glory ! ' 
May He continually dwell in our hearts, and i fill us 
with joy and peace in believing ! ' 

u I have seen my old friend Cay, of the Coldstream 
Guards, several times, and have enjoyed delightful 
Christian converse with him. I gave him several of 

dearest 's cards of prayer, and when I went on 

Sunday to the Guard's Hospital, I observed one fas- 
tened to each bed. It made me glad to see weary 
and dying eyes resting on the words, c God, WASH 

ME FROM ALL MY SINS IN MY SAVIOUR'S BLOOD, AND 
I SHALL BE WHITER THAN SNOW. FlLL ME WITH 

the Holy Ghost, for Jesus Christ's sake.' Oh 
that they may all pray it from their hearts ! 

" I gave the little book of Psalms to poor Longley 
of the band, who is very ill, and I took him also 
some biscuits, for which he seemed very grateful. I 
have long believed him to be a follower of the Lamb ; 
and his uniform good conduct has borne testimony to 
his heart having been changed and renewed by Divine 
grace. I rejoice to think he can rely upon the love 
of his Saviour, even in these hours of pain and weak- 
ness Cousin Ned has not yet returned 

from Scutari ; poor fellow, he has suffered severely. 



262 THE DAY-STAR RISES. 

" God bless you, my own most precious sister. 
—Ever your most tenderly attached brother, 

" Hedley Vicars." 



TO HIS YOUNGEST SISTER. 

" February 25. 
11 Having had no less than six letters to write by 
the last mail, I was unable then to express to you, 
my own dearest Georgie, how pleasant it was to me, 
on opening the large box, to find proofs of your love 
amidst those of others. Many thanks for them, 
darling, and for the ' bag of sundries,' which contained 
many useful articles which only a thoughtful dear 
little sister like y ourself would have thought of. . . . . 
Have you not reason to bless God for the illness you 
speak of, if it has been the means of leading you 
nearer to Jesus — near to God through the blood of 
the Everlasting Covenant, of revealing to you some- 
what of the worth and beauty of the Saviour to your 
soul, and of giving you a hope full of immortality 
through His cross : Surely these are blessings for 
which you ought never to be tired of praising our 
God and Saviour. I should like to hear you exclaim 
with thankful delight — 

" ' Oh for a thousand tongues, to sing 

My dear Redeemer's praise, 

The glories of my God and King, 

The triumphs of His grace 1 ' 



THE DAY-STAR RISES. 263 

"It is true that our feelings are variable. We 
have not always the same glorious views of Jesus, the 
same assurance of our sins having been washed out, 
and our persons accepted, through the blood shed on 
the cross. But let us endeavour to seek for comfort 
in Christ, and in His precious promises. Viewing 
ourselves as vile and sinful, let us look to Jesus as 
our perfect holiness, and as our complete Deliverer 
from sin, and death, and hell. Thus shall we find 
peace, not in feeling ourselves to be good and holy, 
but in hourly acknowledging our wretchedness, and 
casting our sins upon the Saviour, and receiving out 
of His fulness grace for grace. Strive, then, to culti- 
vate a spirit of praise, my own darling Georgie ; you 
have no idea how much happiness and cheerfulness it 
will bring you. God bless you and fill you with all 
joy and peace in believing ! — Ever your most tenderly 
attached and affectionate brother, 

" Hedley." 

" February 28. 
" By the dim light of a very inferior tallow candle, 
I sit down to say, the stove is come! Never was 
there anything so charming. I have thrown it open 
to my company for cooking. It came faster than any 
package has yet travelled, — by Sir M. Peto's ship. 
How very kind of Mr Wilberforce Baynes to get it 
sent, and so expeditiously j it was dropped at my 



264 THE DAY-STAE RISES. 

very tent-door, without my having to make the small- 
est effort to get it. And what a delightful store of 
hooks you and Miss Maitland have sent ! Give my 
love to her ; and tell her what pleasure it gives me to 
give them away. Nearly every officer in the regi- 
ment has got one. I thought some would have de- 
clined, but they all accepted them most gladly. I 
went to the hospital, and distributed several copies of 
that beautiful little book, ' Come to Jesus.' I gave 
one of Byle's hymn-books to Longley, of the band, 
and another to Mortimer Lovell ; and I am making a 
tour round the hospitals of other regiments, to carry 
cards of prayer for each. Thank your beloved sister 
for her supply of them and for her precious letter, 
which I hope to answer. And thank dearest Louie 
for her charming sketch of Beckenham Church and 
Rectory. How often have I, whilst looking at them, 
thought of the calm, heavenly hours I have enjoyed 
there. 

" 'How sweet their memory still !' 

Well, the time may soon arrive when I shall enjoy 
them again; when we shall take sweet counsel to- 
gether, and walk to the house of God in company, 
and tell our fellow-sinners of pardon and peace through 
the atoning blood of a crucified Saviour. 

" Oh ! that the Lord God would come amongst us 
with a l high hand and with a stretched-out arm ;' 



THE DAT-STAR RISES. 265 

that He would, by the mighty power of the Holy 
Ghost, change and soften the hard hearts of those 
who despise the riches of His grace, and who make a 
mock at sin, whilst standing on the verge of eternity ; 
that He would implant the rose of Sharon, in all its 
freshness and fulness, on the ground of every troubled, 
sin-laden heart ! I cannot but believe that many have 
died in peace and hope, for I have heard from the 
lips of several, in dying hours, that their only hope 
was through the mercy of Him who died on the cross. 
But it grieves me when I look around and see how 
few, very few, there are amongst the yet strong and 
healthy (who may, in a moment, be numbered with 
the dead) who shew any love for Jesus ; but it is only 
through sovereign grace that we have beheld the 
Lamb crucified for .us, and have been brought to re- 
joice in Him who ( purchased us with his own blood,' 
with l joy unspeakable and full of glory.' Knowing, 
as I do, the sin-stained course of my past life, and how 
utterly undeserving I was of being an object of God's 
pardoning mercy, I never despair of even the foremost 
in the ranks of Satan being brought to the feet of 
Jesus ; and when I see one, for whose conversion I 
have prayed, becoming more hardened in sin, I com- 
fort myself with the thought, that l grace led my rov- 
ing feet to tread the heavenly road ;' and the same 
constraining power may, at any moment, convince 
him of sin, and reveal Jesus to his soul. 



266 THE DAY-STAR EISES. 

" March 2. — This has "been a very cold day. I 
went to the Light Division tents this morning, and 
gave away several of the tracts and cards of prayer at 
each of the hospitals, and shall go this evening, or 
to-morrow, please God, to distribute them amongst 
the sick of the Second Division. 

" How grieved I am for poor Mrs Halkett in this 
second trial. It is, indeed, hard for one that has been 
so tried to submit without a murmur to the will of 
God, but if she could see the happiness of her child 
now, she would not wish to have it back again. 
That beloved infant has gone to join its father, and 
all three, father, mother, and child, will ere long 
be united, never again to be separated. Pray give 
her my Christian love. I hope her little girl is 
well. 

" Yesterday was a peaceful, happy day to my soul. 
We had two meetings for prayer and Scripture-read- 
ing in my tent. Besides our own little company, we 
had two officers of the Artillery, Capt. Anderson and 
Capt. Vandeleur, and two of the Guards, Capt. Le 
Couteur and Dr Cay. The church was rather too 
small to accommodate so many comfortably, but we 
managed very well, and had a blazing fire the whole 
time ; there is luxury for you ! 

" The Guards are gone to Balaklava, now. Poor 
fellows, they are much reduced; the whole brigade 
mustering barely 250 men fit for duty. But although 



THE DAY-STAR RISES. 267 

few are left, and those worn and haggard, they look 
such noble undaunted fellows." 



TO HIS MOTHER. 

" Camp before Sehastopolj 
" March 5, 1855. 
" Mr own darling Mother, — I am on regimen- 
tal duty to-day, and for the trenches this evening. 
This is a lovely summer's day, but, then, to-morrow 
it may be snowing, for you have no idea how change- 
able the climate is here. I am, thank God, safe and 
well in both body and soul. I never was in the en- 
joyment of better health, and the Lord continues to 
favour me with the sunshine of His presence, filling 
me with peace and joy in Jesus. Oh ! darling mo- 
ther, how precious I find the Saviour to be to me in 
these perilous times, — with what trust and confidence 
can I place myself, both for time and eternity, beneath 
the shelter of His cross ! How the knowledge of the 
love of Christ (that He bled for us) nerves the heart 
to bear patiently, if not willingly, all the trials and 
troubles which God may send us, and which we are 
sure to meet with, sooner or later, in this world of 
tears : but what comfort religion brings to the soul in 
leading us to forget the sorrows of the present in the 
bright contemplation of a future world ; and how joy- 



268 THE DAY-STAR EISES. 

ous, how light the heart, and how indifferent to all 
else, when Christ reveals Himself to our souls in the 
precious character of our dearest Friend and Brother ! 
With Him near, to cheer and assure us, we can 
i reckon that the sufferings of the present time are not 
worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be 
revealed in us.' And, although clouds sometimes 
hover between Him and us, yet we know that He 
has promised l never to leave or forsake us.' I will 
now give you a few extracts from my Journal : — 

" February 27. — This has been the hottest day we 
have had yet, — quite an English June day. Gave 
several of the books away, from the Beckenham-box, 
to my brother officers. Took a long walk with Lieut. 
Cannon in the evening ; we talked on religious sub- 
jects, and especially on the uncertainty of life. Oh ! 
may we both prepare to meet our God, whenever He 
shall summon us hence! The French fired several 
rockets from the Victoria Eedoubt on the town. 

" 28th. — A cloudy day, but the rain kept up until 
the afternoon. I went out for a walk with Harmond, 
but we were obliged to return. Went to the hospi- 
tal, and gave away several tracts to the patients, — 
amongst them a number of i Come to Jesus.' Oh ! 
chat the Holy Ghost may lead many to find peace and 
rest in the Saviour ! I took some jam (thanks to 
dear John) and biscuit to one of my company, John 
Carthy, for which the poor fellow was most grateful, 



THE DAY-STAR RISES. 269 

although so weak and ill he could scarcely see me. 
Gave away some hymn-books of Eyle's to men of 
the band. Gave away several little books to my com- 
pany. 

" March 1. — Remained in tent, writing, in the 
morning, — a bitter cold day. Poor Carthy, of my 
company, died in hospital last night, and was buried 
to-day. Cay came to see me, but I was unable to go 
for a walk with him, owing to parade. Dined off 
beef-steak and porter ! Had tea with Desmond and 
Burton. Read a chapter, and retired to rest about 
half-past eleven o'clock. Lord, do thou, in thy 
great mercy, keep me from forgetting what Thou 
hast suffered for me in body and soul. May I never 
be drawn by the cares of this life from Jesus, my 
Friend and Saviour ; but may I daily live closer to 
His cross. Above all, would I ask Thee to fill me 
with the Holy Ghost ! 

" 2d March. — A cold and snowy day. Borrowed 
Smith's horse, and rode over to the Light Division, 
with my pockets full of tracts, books, and cards of 
prayer, which I gave away to the sick of the 23d, 
33d, 34th, and Rifle Brigade. Cay came in the even- 
ing, and we sallied off together to the camp of the 
Second Division, where we distributed several more 
to the 41st, 49th, and 62d Regiments. We then 
called on Vandeleur, of the Artillery. He was not 
at home. We sat in his tent for nearly an hour. I 



270 THE DAY-STAR EISES. 

read aloud the thirteenth of Hebrews, — took tea with 
Porter and Cannon. 

" 3d March. — Having invited Cay to dinner to-day, 
I despatched my servant Keating to Balaklava for 
some fresh meat and flonr (to make a pudding). Took 
a stroll in the morning with one of my brother offi- 
cers (Lieut. Goodenough), towards the Third Divi- 
sion, and again in the afternoon towards the Victoria 
Redoubt. 

" We dined at five o'clock, off baked mutton and 

potatoes (done in the candle stove dearest sent 

me), and soup, plum-pudding, bread, cheese, and a 
bottle of porter. We afterwards spent a most plea- 
sant evening together. I read a little tract called 
1 Believe and Live,' and then the fortieth of Isaiah. 
After conversing on them, we offered up a short prayer. 
May the Lord bless these meetings together to our 
eternal good, and to the glory and honour of Jesus 
Christ ! Heavy firing this evening. 

" Ath March, Sunday. — Had Divine service in camp. 
We afterwards met together in a tent. All present. 
Then sat on a Begimental Board ; after which I went 
to the Guards' camp for Cay, and we then went 
laden with tracts, books, and prayers to the remain- 
ing hospitals of the Second Division, where we distri- 
buted all we had. Had service in our hospital tent 
on my return, and prayed with one of the sick, parti- 
cularly, who asked me to do so, with tears in his eyes. 



THE DAY-STAR RISES. 271 

Poor fellow, he was much oppressed with the weight 
of sins on his conscience. I spoke to him of, and 
directed him to l look to Jesus/ the Saviour. Service 
in the tent again in the evening. Seven present. Af- 
terwards took a short walk with Vandeleur, Craigie, 
and Anderson, of the Engineers. Eead and prayed 
with Major Ingram and Lieutenant Derman, in the 
latter's tent. Oh ; what a happy day this has been ! 
' Bless the Lord, my soul, and forget not all His 
benefits.' Had a conversation with a private of the 

77th Kegiment for an hour after dinner. Dear 

was the means, in God's hands, of bringing him to a 
knowledge of the truth. Oh, dearest mother, how 
many will rise up and bless her at the last day ! I 
must now conclude, as I must get ready for the 
trenches. We have had rather light work lately ; but 
we expect it will begin again soon, as at first ; but I 
am quite happy. Dearest mother, I have begun to 
keep a journal, as you see. But I can but scribble a 
little in it every night. 

" Give my best love to dearest Clara, Mary, and 
Georgie. You are all constantly in my thoughts and 
prayers. Love to Lord Eayleigh, to John, and Miss 
Strutt, &c. Tell dear Edward, with my love, I will 
strive to write him a letter by the next mail, if I can. 
God bless you, my own most precious, darling mother. 
u Ever your most warmly attached 

" And devoted son, 

" Hedley." 



272 THE DAY-STAR RISES. 



TO MISS VICARS. 



" Camp before Sebastopol, 
cc Sunday night, March 11, 1855. 

" My own darling Mary, — I must write a few 
lines before I go to bed, as the mail closes to-morrow ; 
and I shall have plenty to do then, as we expect to 
shift our ground early in the morning. For myself, 
I don't care much about it (though, of course, one 
does a little/), but I do feel for the sick, many of 
whom are now in nice wooden huts, and will have to 
revert to tents again, at any rate, until we get the 
former on the new ground upon which we are to en- 
camp. 

" After our usual tent services, I walked with Cay 
and Vandeleur towards the Victoria Eedoubt. The 
Light Division formerly furnished a picquet here, but 
the French have it now. From the advanced work 
in front of the redoubt we got a capital view of Sebas- 
topol, with its long line of frowning batteries. We 
soon perceived that our enemies had erected a new 
work in front of their Round Tower Battery, and con- 
siderably nearer to us, for the purpose of enfilading 
the Gordon. We could trace where each shot or shell 
fell. I am glad to say that their practice was very 
bad, for out of about fifty rounds which they fired 
while we were looking on, only one or two hit the 



THE DAY-STAR RISES. 273 

battery. I only hope they may be as ignorant of the 
range when we storm ! 

" On our return, we learnt that a strong party from 
the Light Division is to be detained on duty to night, 
in the trenches, in addition to the usual guards. We 
have 300 men of the 97th out to-night,* so we have 
only forty or fifty effective men left in camp. Three 
Captains, besides Subalterns of the 97th, are either on 
covering party or out-lying picquet. I have a night 
in bed, for my comfort. 

" I have enjoyed this day very much 

We met twice in the tent for prayer ; and in the 
evening I read and prayed with Ingram and Der- 
man. i Gibson's Sermons' have come in most oppor- 
tunely for our church ; they all like them very much. 
This evening's text was Isaiah xliv. 3, c I will pour 
water upon him that is thirsty, and floods upon the 
dry ground.' Thanks be unto God for this precious 
promise : is it not equivalent to the words of Jesus on 
the mount, c Blessed are they which do hunger and 
thirst after righteousness, for they shall be filled?' 
Let us ever be waiting on the Lord for fresh supplies 
of grace, and earnestly and perseveringly pray for a 
more abundant outpouring of the Holy Ghost. Good 
night, my own darling Mary. May God for ever 
bless you, lift up the light of His countenance upon 
you, and give you peace ! . . . . 

" March 12. — Well, dearest Mary, we are to remain 
s 



274 THE DAY-STAR RISES. 

where we are till the day after to-morrow ; this respite 
is in consequence of the rains which fell yesterday. 
Did I tell you of my charming stove, with its portable 
fuel of cocoa-nut oil-cakes, which, when lighted, 
throws out a great heat? My servant has already 
twice "baked in it small flour-cakes, — hot for my break- 
fast, besides cooking my dinner in the same way, for 
a change. 

" How delighted I am you are going to Becken- 
ham at Easter, God willing ! Well do I remember 
my happy hours there ! Never did I feel so strongly 
that I was in a place where i prayer was wont to be 
made,' as in that dear Eectory. 

" I have had a beautiful letter from Mrs Ovens, which 
I hope to reply to by this or next mail. Also to one 
from Mr Smelt, of Canterbury, curate to Mr Stephen- 
son, author of that beautiful book, l Christ on the 
Cross.' Also from Mr Rigley, the Chobham mis- 
sionary, who prayed with me by the tent-pole, when 
I was on guard there, one day. 

" Give my best and fondest love to dearest mother, 
and to darling Clara and Georgie. Much love to all. 
Let us ever have our hope set, and our eyes fixed on 
Jesus : and then, whatever happens me, we shall 
surely meet in peace and joy. — Ever, my own precious 
darling sister, your most deeply affectionate and 
attached brother, 

" Hedley." 



THE DAY-STAR EISES. 275 

From his correspondence with one to whom the 
deepest recesses of his heart were opened, a single 
passage is permitted to appear in these pages, because 
it illustrates that he was as loyal in his allegiance to 
his Queen and to his country as to the heart he had 
sought and won : — 

" How I long for that which I am sure will come 
eventually — a victorious ending to this war ! I wish 
we might go at Sebastopol at once, for I am growing 
tired of this delay ; and, if the truth were told, I fear 
my military ardour is giving way to my deep longing 
to see your face again. But I cannot see how the 
Allied Powers can agree to peace until the stronghold 
which has so long withstood us, falls into our hands. 
Therefore, as the honour of my Queen and my coun- 
try is involved in this matter, not even to return to 
you, dearest, would I leave the Crimea, save through 
the harbour of Sebastopol." 



HIS LAST LETTER. 

" Your letter 

of the 18th contained no small comfort for me. I 

bless God that my sweetest L is with her more 

than mother again, to be comforted in these dark 

days My own mother, no less than 

hers, how I have blessed you in my heart, since the 
day I could call her mine, for all your love to us 



276 THE DAY-STAE RISES. 

both ! I was grieved to hear that your beloved and 
revered father had been ill. God grant his most 
precious life may long be spared to us and to the 
Church of God. Tell him, with my best love, that I 
have distributed amongst my brother officers his 
delightful l Invitation to United Prayer for the Out- 
pouring of the Holy Spirit/ and I trust that it may 
lead several to turn their thoughts and minds to the 
contemplation of those things that belong to their 
peace. Major Ingram is one of my best friends, and 
a true Christian. I have known both him and his 
dear wife for many years. We have often prayed, 
and read, and held communion together. Douglas 
Macgregor is very dear to me. He is very young, 
and full of high spirits, which might now and then 
carry him away, were he not continually seeking to 
have more and more of the mind of Christ ; and, in 
these solemn scenes, his thoughts turn oftener heaven- 
ward. Do not cease to pray for him, and for my 
subaltern, Lieut. Brinkley (for whom I have a real 
affection), that they may both be good and fearless 
soldiers of Jesus Christ. Macgregor is the officer I 
mentioned, who asked, some weeks ago, to be my 
companion in visiting the hospitals, adding, with cha- 
racteristic ingenuousness, 1 1 have just been reading 
those words, " I was sick, and ye visited me not," 
and I should not like my Saviour to be saying those 
words to me.' .... The weather is quite warm, 



THE DAY-STAR EISES. 277 

with bright sunshine, so we are throwing off our win- 
ter clothing. I am sorry to say we are to be removed 
from our present ground to where the Light Division 
is encamped ; but soldiers ought not to grumble at 
inconveniences. Yesterday, I visited the hospitals, 
and read the twelfth of Hebrews, and prayed with a 
poor dying man, who beckoned me to do so when I 
was at the other end of the ward. He was low and 
wretched ; but he seemed comforted when I spoke to 
him of that i blood which cleanseth from all sin,' and 
told him of the dying love of Jesus. I do hope that 
he and I shall meet in heaven, clothed in white robes. 

" Nothing new here. Report says that the Czar is 
dead ! Can it be true ? Sickness is on the decrease, 
and we are all as lively as kittens. 

" March 16, — Many, many thanks, for your dear 
letter of the 1st. I cannot tell you how much I re- 
joice in the improved accounts of the Duke of Man- 
chester, for your last had made me very uneasy about' 
him. God grant that he may be long spared to his 1 
sweet wife, to England, and to the Church at large ! 

" We have lately lost several men in the trenches* 
On Wednesday last, Captain Craigie, of the Engi- 
neers, who regularly attended our Sabbath prayer- 
meetings, was killed by a shell in the Middle Ravine. 
I was on picquet there on that night, and he was 
struck only a few minutes before I came up with my 
men. Poor fellow! he was quickly called into eter- 



278 THE DAY-STAR RISES. 

nity, for he never spoke a word, but fell instantly 
after being bit ; but I feel sure be was ready, and is 
now safe for ever ! I liked him very much, and his 
death has cast a gloom over our small band. 

" We were turned out the night before last, by a 
very heavy firing in our front; it lasted for about 
twenty minutes, when it ceased entirely, but ere long 
we were again alarmed by a second cannonade, and 
we once more stood to our arms. It was a fine star- 
light night, and, as I stood gazing in the direction of 
the fusillade, I thought I had never witnessed a more 
imposing spectacle. Shells in quick succession were 
shooting up into the air, with the bright glare of artil- 
lery reflected over the brow of the hills in our front, 
and the lurid flashes of musketry, as volley after volley 
chimed in, accompanied by the wild cheers of the 
combatants, which we could plainly hear at intervals, 
even amidst the deafening roar. In less than half an 
hour, all was quiet, and we returned to our tents. It 
was an attack made by the French on a Russian 
advanced work, from which they drove the enemy, 
but were in their turn driven out. The French had 
200 killed and wounded ; and the Rifles lost eleven 
men. We are anxiously expecting our batteries to 
open in good earnest ; but they say there is not quite 
enough shell or shot up yet. Nothing could be more 
favourable than the weather has been lately, and the 
roads are in capital condition. My love to your 



THE DAY-STAR RISES. 279 

beloved father, and sister, and brother-in-law, to Mrs 

M , and to dear Louie. I inclose a letter to my 

own L . God bless you, my own most beloved 

mother-sister. How delighted I am that you told me 
the day which is appointed for national prayer ! We 
shall keep it in the camp too, please God. Jesus is 
near , and very precious to my heart and soul. May 
He ever be to you also, my own second mother! — 
Ever your most warmly attached son and brother, 

ic Hedley Vicars." 

On the Sabbath which followed — his last on earth 
— he seemed to have climbed, like Moses, the Mount 
whence the promised land is seen; and to have 
caught the twilight dawn of the Eternal Sabbath so 
near at hand. Amidst unceasing work for his Master, 
he entered at the same time, in his mortal measure, 
" into the joy of his Lord." A serene happiness rilled 
his soul as he went, in the intervals between the 
tent services, with the message of peace to the hos- 
pitals of other regiments. The morning service was 
conducted in Major Welsford's hut, where the usual 
number assembled. In the afternoon they were 
joined by Captain Crofton and Captain Anderson, 
of the Engineers.* 

* Captain Croffcon was mortally wounded by the bursting of a shell, 
within three weeks afterwards, to the deep regret of all who knew 
him. 



280 THE DAY-STAB BISES. 

Hedley Vicars seemed peculiarly to enjoy these 
hours of social prayer. In the evening he met Major 
Ingram in Lieutenant Derman's tent, and these three 
Christian brothers read together the 14th, 15th, 16th, 
and 17th chapters of the Gospel of St John, and 
again united in prayer. The subject of the approach- 
ing day of humiliation was kept much in view* He 
had earnestly desired its appointment. In some of 
his recent letters, he had expressed his belief that 
until God was more honoured by us as a nation, in 
the ascription cf victory to His favour, and in the 
acknowledgment of His chastening hand in defeat, 
we could scarcely expect complete success. 

Well was the day observed when it came. He 
kept it as a solemn fast before the Lord. Within 
that tent there was a Holy of holies, for the presence 
of God was there ; and from conscious, though lowly 
fellowship with the Father and with his Son Jesus 
Christ, he came forth to refresh the souls of others, 
as one who by Divine hands is made a king and a 
priest unto his God. The man of prayer is a man 
of power. Other men take knowledge of him that 
he has been with Jesus; and a light from heaven 
shines into many a dark heart through one who is a 
living temple of the Holy Ghost. 

After morning parade, Hedley Vicars walked with 
Major Ingram, to see the sunrise in the valley of the 
Tchcrnaya ; and by the burning of their hearts within 



THE DAY-STAE RISES. 281 

them by the way, it seemed that " Jesus Himself 
drew nigh and went with them." 

" Jesus in heaven, Jesus in the heart, 

Heaven in the heart, the heart in heaven/' 

At eleven, and at three o'clock, services were held 
in Mr Smith's tent. Hedley Yicars had himself 
chosen the Psalms and Lessons, which he read, as 
well as the remainder of the service, with an earnest 
solemnity which impressed all present. " If it had 
been the Archbishop of Canterbury," said one, " he 
could not have done it better." 

The evening was passed in company with his 
valued friend Mr Cay. The tone of that last conver- 
sation could not be forgotten by the survivor. It 
seemed as if the spirit of his young companion had 
already taken wing, " and was in heaven before he 
came at it; being swallowed up with the sight of 
angels, and with hearing of their melodious notes. 
Here, also, he had the City itself in view, and 
thought he heard all the bells therein to ring, to 
welcome him thereto. But, above all, the warm and 
joyful thoughts that he had about his own dwelling 
there with such company, and that for ever and ever 
— oh, by what tongue or pen can that glorious joy 
be expressed ! " Late that night he wrote these 
words : — 

" God bless all those whose exertions have been 



282 THE DAY-STAK RISES. 

the means of bringing about this day of national 
prayer. Who knows how many precious lives may 
not be spared, and what great success granted, 
sooner or later, in answer to the prayers of this day ; 
for if the l effectual fervent prayer of a righteous 
man availeth much,' how much more may an abun- 
dant answer be expected to the prayers of England, 
offered up as they have been this day by all the 
Lord's people in the name of Jesus, and pleading His 
atoning blood and all-sufficient righteousness ! 

" I look for great results from the prayers that 
have ascended to heaven this day, and have been pre- 
sented by our great Intercessor before the throne of 
God, and I am sure you do too, do you not, ever 
dearest mother-sister ? I have felt this day to have 
been just like Sunday, and have derived much com- 
fort from communion with my God and Saviour. 
We had two tent-services, in the morning at eleven, 
and in the afternoon at three o'clock • Vandeleur 
came both times. I spent the evening with Cay. 
I read Isaiah xli., and he prayed. We walked to- 
gether during the day, and exchanged our thoughts 
about Jesus." 

Thus the last word he ever wrote was the name he 
loved best — the name which is above every name; 
and which doubtless was the first to spring from his 
soul, in the fulness of adoration and praise, as he 



THE DAY-STAR RISES. 283 

entered into the presence of the King Eternal. One 
other fragment was found in his desk. It was 
addressed to her whom he loved with the full power 
of a true and manly heart ; yet does it speak of joy 
and gladness from another source than that most 
-tender love. Like the first disciples, of whom it is 
said, that they, not seeing the Lord Jesus, yet re- 
joiced in Him " with joy unspeakable, and full of 
glory," Hedley Vicars, led by the same Spirit, seems 
at this time almost to have tasted the first draught 
of that fountain of the water of life, whose streams 
make glad the City of God. In the full strength 
of his youth, yet actually on the verge of another 
world, his last words come to us with a power beyond 
that of death-bed sayings. Such a tone of absolute 
satisfaction is seldom heard in this wprld of unsatisfied 
longings. 

" The greater part of another month is past, and 
here I am still kept by the protecting arm of the 
iilmighty from all harm. I have been in many a 
danger by night and day since I last wrote to you, 
my own beloved; but the Lord has delivered me 
from them all, and not only so, but He has likewise 
kept me in perfect peace, and made me glad with 
the light of His countenance. In Jesus I find all I 
want of happiness or enjoyment, and as week after 



284 THE DAY-STAR RISES. 

week, and month after month roll by, I believe He 
is becoming more and more lovely in my eyes, and 
precious to my soul." 

Twenty-four hours more, and his eyes had seen 
" the King in His beauty." 



CHAPTER XI. 

®|e fictorg. 



His soul to Him who gave it rose, 
God led it to its long repose, 

Its glorious rest. 
And though the warrior's sun has set, 
Its light shall linger round us yet, 

Bright, radiant, blest." 

Longfelloio. 



The night of the 22d of March was dark and 
dreary. The wind rose high, and swept in stormy 
gusts across the Crimea. There was for a time a 
stillness over the three armies, like the calm before a 
tempest. 

At the advanced post of the British forces, on 
the side nearest the French, was a detachment of 
the 97th Regiment, commanded by Captain Vicars. 
No watch-fire on that post of danger might cast its 
red light, as aforetime, upon the Book of God. Yet 
was that place of peril holy ground. Once more 
the night-breeze bore away the hallowed sounds of 
prayer. Once more the deep, earnest eyes of Hedley 
Vicars looked upward to that heaven in which his 
place was now prepared. Perhaps in that dark night 
he pictured a return to his country, to his home, to 
the chosen of his heart, and thought of all the loving 
welcomes which awaited him. But there are better 
things than these, dear as they are, which God hath 
prepared for them that love Him. Perhaps his spirit 



288 THE VICTORY. 

took a loftier flight, and imagined the yet more joy- 
ful welcomes upon the eternal shores. 

One stern duty more, soldier and Christian ! and 
realities more lovely and glorious than it has entered 
into the heart of man to conceive, shall satisfy thy 
soul. Fulness of joy and pleasures for evermore at 
God's right hand. Around thee, in a few moments, 
may he a host of foes ; but the air is filled with 
chariots and horses of fire to carry thee home, to be 
numbered with God's saints in glory everlasting. 



Soon after ten o'clock that night a loud firing 
commenced, and was sustained in the direction of 
the Victoria Eedoubt, opposite the MalakhofF Tower. 
Taking advantage of the darkness of the night, a 
Eussian force of 15,000 men issued from Sebas- 
topol. Preserving a sullen silence, they approached 
from the Mamelon under cover of the fire of their 
ambuscades, and effected an entrance into the French 
advanced parallel, before any alarm could be given 
by the sentries. After a short but desperate struggle, 
the French were obliged to fall back on their re- 



serves. 



The columns of the enemy then marched along 



THE VICTOET. 289 

the parallel, and came up the ravine on the right 
of the British lines, for the purpose of taking them in 
flank and rear. On their approach being observed, 
they were supposed to be the French, as the ravines 
separated the Allied armies. Hedley Vicars was 
the first to discover that they were Eussians. 

With a coolness of judgment which seems to have 
called forth admiration from all quarters, he ordered 
his men to lie down until the Eussians came within 
twenty paces. Then, with his first war-shout, " Now 
97th, on your pins, and charge ! " himself foremost 
in the conflict, he led on his gallant men to victory, 
charging two thousand with a force of barely two 
hundred. A bayonet wound in the breast only fired 
his courage the more ; and again his voice rose high, 
" Men of the 97th, follow me ! " as he leaped that 
parapet he had so well defended, and charged the 
enemy down the ravine. 

One moment a struggling moonbeam fell upon his 
flashing sword, as he waved it through the air, with 
his last cheer for his men — " This way, 97th ! " The 
next, the strong arm which had been uplifted, hung 
powerless by his side, and he fell amidst his enemies. 
But friends followed fast. His men fought their way 
through the ranks of the Eussians, to defend the 
parting life of the leader they loved. Noble brave 
men ! to whom all who loved Hedley Vicars owe an 
unforgotten debt of gratitude and honour. 



290 THE VICTORY. 

In their arms they bore him back, amidst shouts 
of a victory, so dearly bought. 

An officer of the Eoyal Engineers stopped them 
on their way, to ask whom they carried. The name 
brought back to him the days of his boyhood. The 
early playmate, since unseen, who now lay dying 
before him, was one whose father's deathbed had been 
attended and comforted by his own father as minister 
and friend.* 

Captain Browne found a stretcher, and placing his 
friend upon it, cooled his fevered lips with a draught 
of water. That " cup of cold water shall in no wise 
lose its reward." 

To each inquiry, Hedley Vicars answered cheer- 
fully that he believed his wound was slight. But a 
main artery had been severed, and the life-blood 
flowed fast. 

A few paces onward, and he faintly said, " Cover 
my face ; cover my face ! " 

What need for covering, under the shadow of 
that dark night? Was it not a sudden conscious- 
ness that he was entering into the presence of the 
Holy God, before whom the cherubims veiled their 
faces ? 

As the soldiers laid him down at the door of 
his tent, a welcome from the armies of the sky 

* The Dean of Lismore. 



THE VICTORY. 291 

sounded in his hearing. He had fallen asleep in 
Jesus, to awake up after His likeness, and be satisfied 
with it. 

We " asked life of Thee, and Thou gavest it him, 
even length of days for ever and ever." 



APPENDIX. 



"In Wtmsxim." 



' His memory long will live alone 
In all our hearts as mournful light 

That broods above the fallen sun, 

And dwells in heaven half the night." 

Tennyson. 



A passage in the despatch from Lord Raglan, published on 
Good Friday, April 6, closed the last door of hope that there 
might be some mistake in the telegraphic notice of Captain 
Vicars' death, communicated by the evening papers of the 
4th :— 

" Camp before Sebastopol, March 24, 1855. 

"Early in the night a serious attack was made upon 
the works of our Allies in front of the Victoria Eedoubt, 
opposite the Malakhoff Tower. 

"The night was very dark, and the wind so high, that 
the firing which took place, and which was very heavy, could 
scarcely be heard in the British camp ; it is, therefore, diffi- 
cult to speak with certainty of what occurred from anything 
that could be heard or observed at the moment. 

"It appears, however, that the Russians, after attacking 
the head of the sap which the French are carrying on towards 
the Mamelon, fell with two heavy masses on their new parallel, 
to the rear of which they succeeded in penetrating and 
momentarily possessing themselves of, after a gallant resist- 
ance on the part of our Allies. 

"Having broken through, they passed along the parallel 
and in rear of it, until they came in contact with the troops 
stationed in our advanced parallel extending into the ravine 
from the right of our advance, where it connects with the 
French trench. 



296 APPENDIX. 

"The enemy was here met by detachments of the 77th 
and 97th Regiments, forming part of the guard of the 
trenches, who, although thus taken suddenly both in flank 
and rear, behaved with the utmost gallantry and coolness. 

"The detachment of the 97th, which was on the extreme 
right, and which consequently first came in contact with 
the enemy, repulsed the attack at the point of the bayonet. 

"They were led by Captain Vicars, who, unfortunately, 
lost his life on the occasion; and I am assured that no- 
thing could be more distinguished than the gallantry and 
good example which he set to the detachment under his 
command." 

By the same post, their tone according with the solemn 
and hallowed associations of the day, the following letters 
confirmed the fatal tidings : — 

TO LORD RAYLEIGH. 

"Before Sebastopol. 

"My Lord, — It is with the deepest sorrow that I write 
to announce the death of Captain Vicars, of the 97th Regi- 
ment. He was killed last night in the trenches, while gallantly 
cheering on his men to the attack of a body of the enemy, 
who, taking advantage of the darkness of the night, got close 
into our trenches. From what I can glean of the affair, he 
rushed bravely into the middle of them, knocked down two, 
and was in the act of striking a third, when one of them 
shot him through his right arm, high up close to the 
shoulder ; the ball divided the principal artery, and he must 
soon have bled to death ; therefore, it is a melancholy satis- 
faction to know that his sufferings were short. 

" I cannot express my own sorrow, and that of the Regi- 
ment, at the loss of so valuable an officer, further than to 
say, as regards myself, I feel that I have lost a brother — 
it was in his society I felt the happiest : as regards the 
regiment, he cannot be replaced. Contemplating his melan- 
choly loss in the light of a Christian, we indeed ought not 



" IN MEMORIAM." 297 

to sorrow as those who have no hope, for I feel sure no officer 
in the whole army was more prepared to meet his Saviour. 
I write to your Lordship, as he told one of the officers 
that his mother was staying with you ; and gave your direc- 
tion, in case (as he said) of anything happening to him. 
" I am, &c, 

"T. O.W.Ingram, 

"Major, 97th Regiment." 

From an Officer in the Royal Artillery. 

" Camp before Sebastopol, March 23, 1855. 

"Much do I thank you for your very kind letter of the 
23d of February. Trfe information it contained concerning 
a Day of Humiliation having been determined upon, was 
most acceptable ; and in itself tended not a little to cheer our 
spirits, of late, by many circumstances, much cast down. 

" That kind letter deserved a far different answer from that 
which I am now called upon to send. Sad, sad indeed, are 
the tidings I have to communicate. But I know that, painful 
and severe as the blow must prove, it is much better that the 
worst should be told, in a direct and certain form, by letter, 
than to have your feelings tortured unnecessarily by the 
uncertain reports, which could not fail to reach you through 
the newspapers. On this account, I feel sure you will forgive 
me for taking upon myself to break to you — one of his 
dearest and most valued friends — the melancholy news of 
the death of our dear companion in arms, and brother in 
the Lord, Captain Vicars, 97th. 

"Yes, our good and gracious God has seen fit, at this, 
His own good time, to take unto himself the soul of our 
beloved friend. Yet, if we find in these words much to 
cause deep affliction, surely they contain much of comfort 
also. Our loss and sorrow are great ; but his gain and bliss 
are greater. Dear Vicars is the second of our little band 
who has been removed to a higher and better world within 
a fortnight. Captain Craigie, R. E., we lost about ten days 



293 APPENDIX. 

ago. Surely these are warnings to us. 'Prepare to meet 
thy God' is written as with the finger of God. May He 
himself prepare our souls, by fixing our wandering hearts 
more entirely on himself ! 

" The action of last night — I might almost dignify it by the 
name of 'battle' — has been a glorious and decisive victory. 
It was Inkermann on a small scale — an attack in very great 
force, and on all points ; and everywhere they were beaten 
back with vigour and heavy loss. I saw at least three hun- 
dred Russian bodies lying on the field. We calculated that 
their loss must have exceeded twelve hundred men. The 
French lost five hundred, and the English four officers and 
about fifty men. 

"Vicars was in the advanced parallel of our right attack, 
with a picquet of his regiment. The enemy attacked the French 
lines close alongside where he lay ; a ravine only separated them. 
They at first drove back the French, and part of them then 
turned to their right, crossed the ravine, and took our trench 
in flank. We were unprepared, and at first thought the advanc- 
ing body was one of the French ; but Vicars found out they were 
the Russians, and ordered his men to lie down, and wait till they 
came within twenty paces. When the enemy was close enough, 
Vicars shouted, ' Now, 97th, on your pins, and charge ! ' They 
poured in a volley, charged, and drove the Russians quite out 
of the trench. Vicars himself struck down two Russians, and 
was in the act of cutting down a third with his sword, when 
another man, who was quite close (for the coat was singed), 
fired. The ball entered his uplifted right arm, close to where 
it joins the shoulder, and he fell. The main artery was divided, 
and he must have bled to death in a few minutes. 

"Thus his end was as peaceful and painless as a soldier's 
death could be ; and nothing could have been more noble, de- 
voted, and glorious than his conduct in this, his first and last 
engagement. Surely this must afford some consolation to 
those who loved him. 

"He was universally beloved; and none can doubt who 
knew him that he is now in the presence of that great and 



" IN MEMOEIAM." 299 

holy God whom on earth he deeply loved, and earnestly and 
successfully sought to serve. 

"Poor fellow ! he chose the Psalms and Lessons for the pre- 
ceding day (the Day of Humiliation), and read the service, 
when several of us met together to worship God. All present 
must have noticed the fervour of his manner. Little did we 
think he was so soon to be numbered with the dead. 

" Let us not sorrow for our beloved brother as those without 
hope. We have a good and sure hope, nay, a firm faith, that 
we shall meet again 

" May God comfort you all." 

The following letter was written to a mother, without any 
idea on the part of the writer that the sorrowing hearts of 
Hedley Vicars' relatives and friends would be warmed and 
comforted by its overflowing affection to his memory : — 

TO LADY MACGREGOR. 

" Camp before Sebastopol, March 23, 1855. 

" Dearest Mother, — This is a dark and sorrowful day with 
me ; my heart is wrung, my eyes red and hot with crying. 
I feel gloomy and sorrowful altogether. My very dear friend 
Vicars was killed last night ! The Russians made a sortie ; and 
while gallantly leading on a handful of our men, to charge them 
outside our works, he was mortally wounded by a ball striking 
his right breast. He died soon after, and is now enjoying a 
glorious rest in the presence of his Saviour. I do not pity him. 
What more could we wish for him 1 He was fully prepared 
for the most sudden death, and he died bravely fighting and 
doing his duty. But my heart bleeds for the loss of my 
dearest friend, and for the sake of his poor mother and family. 

" Such a death became such a life, — and such a soldier. The 
most gallant, the most cheerful, the happiest, the most uni- 
versally respected officer, and the most consistent Christian 
soldier, has been taken from us by that bullet ; and I know 
not how to live without him. He was my truest friend, my 
most cheerful companion, and my friendly adviser on all 



300 APPENDIX. 

occasions. But, as his Sergeant remarked bitterly this morn- 
ing, ' He was too good to live.' 

" Oh ! how many happy little schemes of mine does this at 
once put an end to ! I had fondly hoped that we should live 
to go home, and that I might bring my dear departed friend 
to you, and proudly shew him as a specimen of what a model 
soldier should be. But God's ways are not our ways. He 
spared him from the horrible death of suffocation by charcoal, 
for a few months, that he might die a soldier's death. 

tl Noble fellow ! he rushed in front of his men ; and his 
powerful arm made more than one Bussian fall, before that 
cruel bullet brought him down. It must have been fired close 
to him, for his coat was singed. I never knew how much I 
loved him, until he was so nearly dying of the charcoal. When 
I heard, at daylight this morning, that Vicars had been 
brought home dead, you may imagine my excessive grief. I 
loved that man as dearly as a brother ; and it seems that I al- 
most hear his voice sounding in my ears, as he read (two days 
ago) the Service, — when some of us met on the day of hu- 
miliation. 

"There was a little locket which he always wore round his 
neck ; and I remember, when he heard we were to come here, 
he said, ' We should all be prepared to give directions what we 
wished done in case we get killed ; for instance I have got a 
little book of Psalms and a locket, which I would wish sent 
home, in case I die !' Poor fellow ! I remembered this ; and as 
I took the locket (a small gold one, which opens like a watch, 
and has a small picture) — sprinkled with his life-blood — I cried 
so that I thought I would get ill 

" Oh ! his poor mother and sisters, that he 

loved so dearly. But she is a Christian : and has lived to see 
her once wild and reckless son come to the fold of Jesus, and 
prove his sincerity by a long, unswerving, and consistent 
course. I also cut a lock of his fine curly hair this morning, 
as I knew his mother would like to get it. If I was to try to 
write all the good that my beloved friend did, I should not 
have room. How he fearlessly visited and spoke to the men 



301 

in the worst times of the cholera : but, as he told me, he got 
his reward, — for the soldiers' dying lips besought blessings on 
his head. Oh, how happy he is now ! Such a death, and such 
glory now ! Even in death his habitual happy smile did not 
forsake him. The Lord knew when and how to take him ; but 
it is a severe and unspeakably painful trial to me. 

" Every one liked and respected Vicars ; even those who 
did not agree with his strict religion ; and those who had 
known him so long as the leader of every mad riot, when, after 
closely watching him for years, and finding that, once enlisted 
in Christ's army, he never flinched — at last gave in, and ac- 
knowledged that Vicars, at any rate, was a true Christian. 
How sadly we shall miss him in all our little meetings ! God, 
help me to bear this sad affliction ! I can't go on. He died 
gloriously, and now he is perfectly happy. God help his 
afflicted family, and help me also, to bow submissively to His 
will! 

a Our men got great praise for the fight last night ; but who 
would not go anywhere with such a leader 1 

" Somehow, I passed a restless, almost sleepless night, and 
I then heard different arrivals of our wounded men, but did 
not know that my poor — no, my happy — friend was amongst 
the number, until parade at daybreak. If you have not lost 
that crocus which Vicars sent a few weeks ago, please to keep 
it. Oh ! blessed are the dead that die in the Lord ! 

" Farewell, Vicars, my loved companion ! I knew when he 
went into action he would shew that a Christian soldier was a 
brave, as well as a happy man. I do not exactly know how it 
all was. I only vouch for the above facts, and the terrible 
reality of poor Vicars' noble frame lying in the hospital tent, 
where I saw it. We are in tents here, too. God bless you, 
dearest mother, and may He sanctify this severe trial to my 
soul. 

"Your own 
"Douglas." 

Six months more, and Douglas Macgregor and Hedley 



302 APPENDIX. 

Vicars had met again. " Lovely and pleasant in their lives, in 
their death they were not (long) divided." 

Bright as the young survivor's Christian life had been 
before, it cleared into yet fuller lustre during those six short 
months, ere his sun went down at noon. He regularly visited 
the hospitals, to read and pray with the sick and dying, and 
in every way sought to follow in the steps of that beloved 
friend, over whose grave he had wept with the strength of 
manly affection and the tenderness of a woman's love. 

On the death of Lieutenant Derman, in the month of 
August, Lieutenant Macgregor, at the age of twenty, was ap- 
pointed Adjutant to his regiment, — an office for which his re- 
markable energy, sweetness of temper, and devoted military 
ardour peculiarly qualified him. 

On the fatal 8th of September, twice he fought his way into 
the Redan, the second time to come no more out. He was 
found far advanced on that red ground, lying by a cannon, in 
the sleep of death. 

"The trumpet shall sound, and the dead shall be 

RAISED." 

The next letter is from one whose own abounding labours 
of love amongst the ungodly, the sick, and the dying, in that 
land lying under the shadow of death, rendered him peculiarly 
open to the refreshing influence of even passing contact with 
such a spirit as that of Hedley Vicars : — 

"Balaklava, March 25, 1855. 

" My heart is filled with sorrow. I am deeply pained. I 
am much distressed. And well do I know I write to one 
whose soul shall be filled with grief — grief which only Jesus 
can relieve, sorrow which only His hand can wipe away. 

" From dear Dr Cay's letter of the 23d, you have heard of 
the death of much-loved Captain Vicars. It has come over us 
a heavy blow. It has taught us solemn lessons. It has 
caused the deepest affliction. We seek grace to bow to the 
will of the Lord, and to feel His ways are not our ways, nor 



" IN MEMORIAM." 303 

His thoughts our thoughts. You know the circumstances." 
(Then follows a statement of the facts already given.) " He fell 
asleep in Jesus. His work was done on earth — his race was 
run — his conflict ended — his crown awaiting — and now he 
wears it. 

"I heard of his death on the evening of the 23d, and 
yesterday hastened to the front. 1 met one and another of 
the 97th, and the deepest sorrow filled each heart. I cannot 
express it. Rough hands wiped the starting tears away at the 
mention of his name, and one after another told me of the 
good he had sought to do him. 

" On reaching the encampment of the 97th, I saw soldiers 
digging a grave. It was his. I stood beside them, and spoke 
to them as well as I could for sorrow, and remained till it was 
finished. Oh ! how my heart bled for his dear mother and 
sisters at home ! The poor soldiers seemed to feel this, and 
said they could not forget his dear sister's parting counsels to 
them ere they left England. It seems to have made impression 
on them. 

" He was buried at three o'clock yesterday afternoon. All 
the officers of the 97th were there, with some friends from 
other regiments, and a large number of the men of his own 
regiment. I stood by Dr Cay, and Captain Yandeleur was 
opposite. A deep, very deep solemnity prevailed, as the Chap- 
lain read the Funeral Service. It was a touching, solemn 
hour. Yes, he had all earthly honour, all deep respect. The 
mournful procession went home, and dear Dr Cay and I went 
together on the road to Balaklava, talking of our loss, and of 
his dear mother and sisters and friends at home, and of those 
pleasures and joys he now possesses in the calm, pure, holy 
heaven on high. 

"Being all day with them, I had opportunity of seeing 
many of the men of the 97th. He was the most beloved 
officer of the regiment, and not only in his own regiment, 
— it seems his name is well known now throughout the army, 
and his loss deeply felt. I could here pause to give expres- 
sion to my own feelings. I feel I have lost a dear friend, one 



304 APPENDIX. 

to whom my heart was much knit. I had anticipated happy 
days with him in this land, and felt I should be much 
strengthened. It was not to be so. Soon we shall follow. 
Oh! may the faltering steps be quickened, and the soul be 
made to mount up with wings as eagles, longing, panting, 
thirsting more ardently and more constantly for the living 
God. 

" I had visited him three times, and remained long with 
him. On Tuesday, the 20th, we had gone together to Major 
Ingram's tent — Dr Cay also being present, and another officer. 
It was put on me to read and pray, and it was good to be 
among them. He, with Dr Cay, conveyed me a long way. 
Our conversation turned chiefly on the happiness of glorified 
spirits and their enjoyments. He was much delighted at the 
prospect of the National Fast Day on the following day. 
It was the sweetest walk I have ever had. Little did I think 
it was to be the last with him. 

"On the 21st he met with others, and passed the day 
in fasting and prayer, and very pleasantly. My spirit was 
with him and the little band. Next night he was in glory. 
Yes, I feel sure of this. It seemed to me he was peculiarly 
ripe for it. He was growing much in the Divine life, and 
it must afford peculiar satisfaction to you to know (as he told 
me in that last walk), your letters had been the means of 
greatly strengthening him and helping him forward. To God 
be the glory. Yes, he has fallen as a soldier and as a Chris- 
tian. The Church of God, his dear mother, and sisters, and 
Christian friends, shall miss him much. Yet we cannot, we 
would not recall him if we could. God had need of him. He 
is removed from the evil to come. The white robe is now his 
— the crown of victory — the song that shall never end. Tears 
may give place to joy. True, it was not amidst kind friends 
or on downy bed he died. It was in the deadly charge and 
in the battle's strife. Yet it is all one. He fell as a Christian, 
nobly doing his duty. He awaits to give us a welcome on 
high. Kindly recognition shall take place. He needs us to 



305 

swell the song, to help to praise. Lord, more grace, more 
grace, that we may follow him as he followed Jesus ! 

" Dr Cay is to get a stone to mark his grave, that it may be 
well known. He lies close to the mile-stone on the Woronzoff 
road to Sebastopol, 200 yards from the Picquet House. 

" I feel deeply for his mother and sisters — I cannot say how 
deeply. May they know much of the sympathy of Jesus! 
You, too, shall need it, for you have lost a brother. 

" Will you kindly offer my Christian love to all at Becken- 
ham, especially to your dear honoured father. Mercy, grace, 
abundant grace, be with you. 

" Yours in the bonds of Jesus, 

" Duncan Matheson." 

From a Private in the 97th. 

"Camp before Sebastopol, March 23, 1855. 

"My dear Wipe, — On the night of the 22d we had a 
visit from the Eussians. A strong force pushed up to our 
advanced works, and succeeded in getting into the trenches 
where there was a weak point. Several of our regiment 
got killed, and amongst them was our gallant Captain, poor 
Mr Vicars, who was so deeply loved by all the regiment. 
Even the officers almost all cried the morning after the 
affair. 

" He got a bayonet wound first, and then with a handful of 
his men drove the Russians off and out on their ground ; for 
where the affair happened is close to their own batteries. He 
was seen to use his sword bravely, and cut down two men, 
and had his sword raised to serve another the same, when 
a bullet struck him in the breast, and he shouted out that 
he was only slightly wounded. But, alas ! poor fellow, he fell, 
and died soon after. The Russians would have carried him 
off and stript him of all he was worth, but our gallant lads 
bravely defended him, and carried him off the field. 

"We had four killed and four wounded, besides fourteen 
missing, which we expect were taken prisoners, as we took a 

U 



306 APPENDIX. 

great many Russians, and a great many were killed. Amongst 
them some officers were killed at our mortar batteries in 
attempting to spike them. For several days here the Russians 
kept very quiet — did not so much as fire a shot. We could 
not tell what they were up to. 

"Poor Captain Vicars will be deeply regretted by all who 
knew him, but I know his soul is in heaven. 

"So no more at present, my dear wife, from your affec- 
tionate husband, 

"John Cotterall, 97th." 



From a private in the Coldstream Guards, formerly a 
Crystal Palace workman, who enlisted principally with the 
hope of being sent to the Crimea, that he might see Captain 
Yicars again : — 

u J$t George's Barracks, April 6. 

" Dear Lady, — "When I opened the paper it made the tears 
come into my eyes, for to hear that my beloved friend had 
left this world. He is gone to sleep in Jesus. I wish I had 
been by his side, and seen him fall asleep. But I know that 
he is in greater glory than is to be had in this world. When 
last I saw him in Beckenham amongst us, little did 1 think 
that it was the last But he fell in duty and glory. 

" I expect we shall leave for the East in a day or so. We 
are. all at a minute's notice. I have all the little books you 
gave me, packed up in my kit. 

"I was always living in the hopes of seeing that beloved, 
respected Captain, and honoured brother in the Lord, out 
there, when I got a chance of going out to him ; now I am 
disappointed. But I will put no trust in princes to get me to 
heaven ; but I look on the blood of Jesus on the cross. I 
will trust in Him, and He will never forsake me. For Jesus 
says — 

'"All ye that thirst, approach the stream 
Where living waters flow.' 



307 

"Our beloved friend is drinking of those living waters 
now. 

"So no more at present from your humble and grateful 
friend, 

* James Kelly, Coldstream Guards." 



TO MRS VICARS. 

"Beckenham, April 7, 1855. 

"Dear Mrs Vicars, — I am not writing to you merely a 
letter of sympathy. I believe I can fully enter into your grief. 
Since the sudden death of a dear child of my own — darling 
Lucy's mother — I have never felt so thoroughly heart- 
stricken. 

"That brave soldier, that eminent Christian, that active 
servant of Christ, that loving heart had wound itself round my 
heart. I could weep all day ; but this is wrong. Let me think 
of the honour conferred upon him in life ; of the easy pas- 
sage in death ; of the bliss of his spirit in paradise ; and of the 
brilliant example he has left behind ! I will try to think of 
him, rather than of myself, or even of those so dear to me. 
But their sorrows pierce me. But let me rather think of the 
wisdom and love of His government who, indeed, wept at the 
tomb of Lazarus, and, therefore, I may weep ; but intended 
that tomb to give a higher display of the Divine glory. Oh, 
let us trust where we cannot trace, and believe that we shall 
discover only love in our most painful feelings here. 

"Yet a little while and Bev. vii. 13-17, and xxi 4, will be 
fulfilled : and there we shall meet our beloved ones who have 
gone before (1 Thess. iv. 13-18) ; and the presence of the 
Lord will be the sunshine upon all. I pray God comfort you 
and your dear children, and dear Lord and Lady Bayleigh. 

" Believe me to be, dear Mrs Vicars, yours faithfully and 
affectionately, " Wm. Marsh." 



308 APPENDIX. 

Extract of a Letter from Lord Panmure to Lord Rayleigh. 

" War Department, April 21, 1855. 
"...,. I cannot but regard the death of Captain 
Vicars as a national calamity, as it has deprived the Queen and 
the nation of the service of an officer who was distinguished 
by his gallantry and devotion to the service." .... 

Extract of a Letter from the Rev. Dr Blackwood. 

"Scutari, April 30, 1855. 
" Occasionally, in the midst of the horrors of war, one meets 
traits of character which are very pleasing. You will have 
seen in the newspapers some accounts of the death of Captain 
Vicars, of the 97th Eegiment, while gallantly repulsing a night 
sortie of the Eussians at the head of his men in the trenches. 
This was a good man, and in his instance is realised the 
promise, 'The memory of the just is blessed.' In passing 
through one of my wards the day after the news of his death 
had arrived at Scutari, I met with two or three of his men, 
who spoke to me with the most earnest and affectionate in- 
terest, inquiring the truth of the sad news. They all bore 
testimony to his excellence, and to his unceasing and zealous 
endeavours to impress them with religious sentiments and 
instruct them in religious truth. He appears to have acted 
as a father and evangelist to his men. One very interesting 
youth wept freely while he spoke of his own former wild and 
thoughtless course, from which he had been reclaimed by the 
exhortations and instructions of Captain Vicars, who used to 
read and expound the Scriptures and pray with his men in- 
dividually, as well as sometimes collectively. This young man 
received religious books from me with evident intentions to 
use and profit by them, and told me how Captain Vicars had 
exhorted him to be useful in speaking a word to his thought- 
less comrades, as well as in keeping his own faith. What a 
blessing is such a character as Captain Vicars' ; and I believe 
there are not a few of the like spirit just now in our army." 



309 



Extract of a Letter from Private Mortimer Zovell, 77th. 

" The loss of Captain Vicars is felt by many — many a one 
out here. But he rejoices, and enjoys the fruits of his heavy 
labours in the loving bosom of his God and Saviour. Willingly 
would I have resigned my poor life to have prevented the 
deadly blow. 

" I wept for his loss, but now I envy him his glory. 

" I send you some clay I got on his grave, and a rough sketch 
(but true) of his tombstone. His men have ornamented the 
grave with shells, and flowers are already growing there." 



From Captain Vicars' Servant in the Regiment. 

"Camp before Sebastopol, May 20, 1855. 

" Madam, — The name of Captain Vicars is engraven on the 
hearts of the private soldiers of the 97th, with feelings of love 
and gratitude. I believe there is not a man in the regiment 
but would have run any risk to have saved his life. I, as his 
servant, can assure you, he was a brother to me, and not as 
a master, though no gentleman could be more honoured and 
respected. I feel a happiness when I think of the home his 
soul is now enjoying. 

" I am requested by the soldiers of the 97th to say how 
pleased and thankful they will be for the little books about 
him when they reach ; and I believe there are many of the 
men will keep them till the day they die. 

" I remain yours respectfully, 

" Richard Young, 97th." 



From an Officer of the 97th. 

" May 22, 1855. 
"... I can't tell you how much I felt the loss of poor 
Vicars. Ever since I joined the regiment he was one of my 
best friends in every sense of the word, always trying to do 



310 APPENDIX. 

me good, both by example and advice ; however, I have no 
doubt the poor fellow is much happier where he is ; he fell, as 
he wished to fall, at the head of his men, leading them on to 
victory. I can't tell you how much his company loved him ; 
and if you were to see the poor fellow's grave, how nicely 
they have done it round with stones and shells, shewing in the 
only way they could how deeply they felt his loss ! 

" At twelve o'clock on the night of the 22d of March, his 
servant rushed into my tent, saying they were bringing his 
master home wounded. He must have died just before he ar- 
rived in Camp, for at the Picquet House he asked the men that 
were carrying him to put a cloak over him, as he felt cold, and 
when I saw him a minute afterwards he was dead. He died 
an easy death, — not the slightest sign of suffering about him. 
He appeared as if he was in a tranquil sleep ; his poor servant 
and the soldier that carried him were all in tears. I never 
saw an officer so much loved as he was. Many a vow of ven- 
geance was uttered, and no doubt will be kept when they get 
the chance. I used to have such work to make him take his 
pistols ; and that night I dined out, and he did not take them. 
I have got his fur coat, in which the poor fellow was shot, 
which I am keeping in memory of one of the dearest friends 
I ever had. He has been a heavy loss to us all, but at the 
time we can't help envying him the glorious way in which he 
fell, and the certainty of his now being so much happier, and 
in a better place than this wretched world of sin and 
sorrow." , = . . 

From one of those soldiers of the 97th who fought their way 
through the ranks of the Kussians, as they closed round Cap- 
tain Yicars when he fell. The writer is a Eoman Catholic : — 

" Gamp before Sebastopol, June 28, 1855. 
" Madam, — I hope you will excuse the liberty I take in ac- 
knowledging the receipt of your very kind note of the 20th of 
May 1855, and its enclosure of half a sovereign ; also the 
handsome good book you were so kind as to send me. I am 



311 

sure I have not done anything to deserve such kindness ; 
what I have done in striving to save the late beloved Captain 
Vicars any one soldier in the Kegiment would have done, for 
he was beloved by every one who knew him. His constant 
care was the best way he could contribute to the comfort of 
all under his command. As our Adjutant, he was loved by 
every one in the regiment, and, as Captain of No. 4 Company, 
he was more so by his Company. There is scarcely a man in 
the regiment who would not have gladly laid down his own 
life to save his ; and we all feel sorrow when we think of our 
victory on the 22d of March, on account of his loss. 

" 1 am sorry that I cannot express my thanks for your kind 
wishes and your handsome present, a book not much read by 
the humble classes of my persuasion ; but your book I will 
read and study, so that I might become worthy to meet your 
beloved friend, and our no less beloved friend, in glory. 

" The letter you so kindly sent me I am sending to my 
mother, for fear that, through its smallness, I might lose it ; 
and if it should please the Lord to take me, I have given direc- 
tions to have the Bible sent also. It is not for the intrinsic 
value that I prize them. No ! it is the pride I feel in an 
humble individual like me to have my name coupled with all 
that was good. All our officers are kind and good, but he was 
best, and most beloved. 

" I, and every one that has heard of your kindness, sincerely 
sympathise in your loss. I most respectfully again beg you 
will forgive my presumption in writing to you in return for 
your kindness, but I felt my debt to you so much that I could 
not but thank you. I humbly hope you will excuse me for 
trespassing on your time so long ; I am only sorry that I cannot 
thank you as I should. 

" I beg to remain, 

" Your very obedient humble servant, 

"J. O'ElELLY, 

"Private, No. 3 Company, 97th Regiment." 



312 APPENDIX. 



From the Widowed Mother of a Soldier of the §lth, of 
whom Major Welsford thus wrote : — 

" Benjamin Kyberd distinguished himself on the night of 
the 22d of March, in the trenches before Sebastopol, in charg- 
ing upon the Russians and carrying off a wounded officer, — in 
which he received a musket-ball in the leg." 

"February 19, 1856. 

" Dear Madam, — I hope you will pardon the liberty I have 
taken of writing to a lady that I am quite a stranger to, but it is 
regarding my late son, Benjamin Kyberd, 97th Regiment, who, 
in assisting to rescue Captain Vicars from the Russians in the 
trenches, on the 22d of March 1855, received his death wound. 
It has been a very severe trial to me, being my youngest son, 
the last of seven children, and I have been a widow twenty- 
three years. 

" One of the sergeants of the 97th, a particular friend of my 
son's, wrote to me, and sent a Testament which Captain Vicars 
presented to my son when they were at Greece, — wrote in it, 
'Benjamin Kyberd, from a friend,' with a book-mark in it, 
' Think of me, ' — which I most highly prize. 

" I cannot but express my gratitude to a kind and heavenly 
Father for my son having the privilege of hearing the Word 
of God from the lips of such a pious man as Captain Vicars, 
who was an ornament to the Christian character, and is now 
enjoying the fruit of his labours. 

" My dear son was the child of many prayers, and was 
brought up in the fear and nurture of the Lord. He wrote to 
me when they landed at the Crimea, and said, < My dear Mo- 
ther, I expect we shall soon have to commence with the 
Russians ; and that will be a fearful day to some, for many fine 
young men will be hurried into eternity, and it may be your 
poor son's lot to fall. If it should be so, I can only commit 
my soul into the hands of a kind and merciful Redeemer, who 



" IN MEMORIAM." 313 

has promised to cast out none that flee to Him for refuge. 
Therefore,' he said, ' let me entreat you not to fret.' 

" I can only hope and trust the few days he had to live (as 
his sufferings were very great) that he was enabled to cast 
himself at the feet of Jesus Christ, hoping in the mercy of a 
faithful God, ' whose mercy endureth for ever.' 

" From your most obedient and humble servant, 

" Ann Ktberd." 

The following letter will be read with melancholy interest, 
as it is from the pen of one who fell foremost in the Redan, 
whilst gallantly leading the forlorn-hope, on the 8th of Sep- 
tember, and was followed to a soldier's grave with no common 
regret : — 

Camp, June 29, 1855. 

" My dear Lady Eayleigh, — My brother officers have re- 
quested me to acknowledge your kindness, and to thank you 
very much for your remembrance of them in forwarding the 
books descriptive of the life of their poor friend and fellow- 
soldier, Captain Vicars. Believe me, no one was, or could be, 
more regretted than he was ; for, anxious, zealous, and atten- 
tive to his duties, he was also most cheerful, self-denying, and 
obliging to his friends and companions. The narrative truly 
states, that whilst he entered with all his heart into the 
interests and duties of a soldier, his lips and life held one 
unchanging story of the love of Christ. 

" It must be a very great source of consolation to his mother 
to know that, in all this army, none, as far as human observa- 
tion can judge, was more prepared to meet his Maker. 

" I was not in the trench the night he suffered ; but hearing 
that some wounded men had been sent up, I had risen and 
gone to the hospital with the doctor : whilst there, I was in- 
formed that he was being brought in, and hastening to meet 
him, found, poor fellow, that he had breathed his last — as his 
bearers informed me, calmly and quietly, having spoken a few 
minutes before I met them. 



314 APPENDIX. 

<c I must beg you to convey my condolence to his poor mo- 
ther, to whom I would have written at the time, had I known 
her address ; but I was very busy, the regiment having just 
shifted ground, and being much pressed with duty, I left the 
correspondence to a personal and intimate friend of his, Major 
Ingram. 

" Believe me, my dear Lady Rayleigh, most truly to remain 
yours, 

" Augustus F. Welsford, 
" Major Commanding 97th Regiment," 



Then let us he content to leave behind us 

So much ; which yet we leave not quite behind ; 

For the hright memories of the holy dead, 

The blessed ones departed, shiue on us 

Like the pure splendours of some clear large star, 

"Which pilgrims, travelling onward, at their back 

Leave, arid at every moment see not now : 

Yet, whensoe'er they list, may pause and turn, 

And with its glories gild their faces still. 

Or, as beneath a northern sky is seen 

The sunken sunset living in the west, 

A tender radiance there surviving long, 

Which has not faded all away before 

The flaming banners of the morn advance 

Over the summits of the Orient hills."* 



In the majority of the few extracts quoted in this chapter, 
from a large number of letters of nearly equal interest, the 
97th Regiment have borne their own testimony to their value 
for Hedley Vicars. 

* Trench. 



APPENDIX. 315 

In conclusion, the writer of these memorials would 
venture to repeat, with a deeper meaning, his own 
last words to his faithful men, " This way, 97th ! " 
And would add a humble prayer, not only for that 
gallant regiment (in which all who loved Hedley 
Vicars must ever feel a peculiar interest), but also for 
every soldier in the British army, that each may 
tread the same path to endless glory, by finding Him 
who is " the Way, the Truth, and the Life ; " that, 
taught of the Holy Spirit, as this young soldier was, 
they may Jearn, as he did, to follow Jesus " in the 
blessed steps of His most holy life ; " and may at last 
inherit with him those pleasures which are at God's 
right hand for evermore. 

" If any man serve me 7 let Mm follow me ; AND 
WHERE I AM THERE SHALL MY SERVANT EE. If any 
man serve me, HIM WILL MY FATHER HONOUR." 
— (John xii.) 



THE END. 



BALLANTYNK AND COMPANV, PRINTERS, KDINBUKOH. 



LIBRARY OF CONGRESS 



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